Pinned
Honking in Morse code so the people in front of me know the show their kids are watching is really annoying.
I just wanna talk about Bone Temple.
January 19, 2026 at 11:43 PM
I just wanna talk about Bone Temple.
Reposted
Really leaning into getting the names of things kinda wrong, so I’m gonna go see Skeleton Church tonight.
January 16, 2026 at 4:41 PM
Really leaning into getting the names of things kinda wrong, so I’m gonna go see Skeleton Church tonight.
[laughing anxiously] can’t wait for tomorrow!
January 7, 2026 at 2:39 AM
[laughing anxiously] can’t wait for tomorrow!
Sick and watching The Batman
January 4, 2026 at 5:43 AM
Sick and watching The Batman
Here’s the pitch- Dune, but with Donald Duck.
January 2, 2026 at 4:32 AM
Here’s the pitch- Dune, but with Donald Duck.
Jurassic Park is supposed to be an island full of female dinosaurs, but I didn’t see any of them with a Jansport backpack 👎🏻👎🏻
December 31, 2025 at 1:34 AM
Jurassic Park is supposed to be an island full of female dinosaurs, but I didn’t see any of them with a Jansport backpack 👎🏻👎🏻
-bright copper kettles
-warm woolen mittens
-spending $40 in first aid stuff because I never know what I have in the cabinet and my finger is fucked right now
-cream colored ponies
-warm woolen mittens
-spending $40 in first aid stuff because I never know what I have in the cabinet and my finger is fucked right now
-cream colored ponies
December 31, 2025 at 12:57 AM
-bright copper kettles
-warm woolen mittens
-spending $40 in first aid stuff because I never know what I have in the cabinet and my finger is fucked right now
-cream colored ponies
-warm woolen mittens
-spending $40 in first aid stuff because I never know what I have in the cabinet and my finger is fucked right now
-cream colored ponies
Ritz crackers, peanut butter, mini chocolate chips
December 29, 2025 at 4:28 AM
Ritz crackers, peanut butter, mini chocolate chips
Just a heads up if you go to see Song Sung Blue the theater will be full of old people that will cheer and boo at the Melania movie, so to cut the tension I recommend farting really loud.
December 27, 2025 at 8:42 PM
Just a heads up if you go to see Song Sung Blue the theater will be full of old people that will cheer and boo at the Melania movie, so to cut the tension I recommend farting really loud.
Everyone loves it when I say “Till death do us part” with a mouth full of popcorn
Every time I see the trailer for The Bride! I crack up at Christian Bale saying “Till death do us part”
December 27, 2025 at 7:57 PM
Everyone loves it when I say “Till death do us part” with a mouth full of popcorn
Still wild that Potter, Schade and Thiago are all 24
December 27, 2025 at 4:11 PM
Still wild that Potter, Schade and Thiago are all 24
Rick James in the studio at the mixing board, punches the air “Now THAT’s the Jingle Bell Rock!”
December 26, 2025 at 9:58 PM
Rick James in the studio at the mixing board, punches the air “Now THAT’s the Jingle Bell Rock!”
You know I got those Dick facts
December 26, 2025 at 9:32 PM
You know I got those Dick facts
I hope Jehovahs Witnesses can celebrate Toyotathon
December 19, 2025 at 5:00 PM
I hope Jehovahs Witnesses can celebrate Toyotathon
Working on a Christmas stand up persona called Abby-nezer where all of my crowd work is asking women if they bought the prize turkey hanging up at the Poulterers on the corner or is that their husband
December 18, 2025 at 7:10 PM
Working on a Christmas stand up persona called Abby-nezer where all of my crowd work is asking women if they bought the prize turkey hanging up at the Poulterers on the corner or is that their husband
I really do need tiny cans of Waterloo.
December 15, 2025 at 4:44 AM
I really do need tiny cans of Waterloo.
Glad I got big feet
'Cause they're so good for dancin'
Glad you got big legs
'Cause they're so good when we're romancin'
You still got the flavor
And I'm hungry for your love
So I'm gon' play this one jam
That'll make you wanna kiss somebody
'Cause they're so good for dancin'
Glad you got big legs
'Cause they're so good when we're romancin'
You still got the flavor
And I'm hungry for your love
So I'm gon' play this one jam
That'll make you wanna kiss somebody
December 14, 2025 at 8:30 PM
Glad I got big feet
'Cause they're so good for dancin'
Glad you got big legs
'Cause they're so good when we're romancin'
You still got the flavor
And I'm hungry for your love
So I'm gon' play this one jam
That'll make you wanna kiss somebody
'Cause they're so good for dancin'
Glad you got big legs
'Cause they're so good when we're romancin'
You still got the flavor
And I'm hungry for your love
So I'm gon' play this one jam
That'll make you wanna kiss somebody
I think we deserve to know who is actually giving new cars as Christmas presents.
December 14, 2025 at 5:31 PM
I think we deserve to know who is actually giving new cars as Christmas presents.
For a minute I thought Kayode was gonna throw it right into the net for a goal
December 14, 2025 at 4:36 PM
For a minute I thought Kayode was gonna throw it right into the net for a goal
There’s gotta be a Unitarian Church out there putting on a PeeWee’s Christmas Special pageant and I’m gonna find it.
December 11, 2025 at 5:20 AM
There’s gotta be a Unitarian Church out there putting on a PeeWee’s Christmas Special pageant and I’m gonna find it.
Turns out no one I work with has seen Arrested Development so I should probably stop saying “What a fun sexy time for you!” before someone tells HR.
December 10, 2025 at 10:26 PM
Turns out no one I work with has seen Arrested Development so I should probably stop saying “What a fun sexy time for you!” before someone tells HR.
Had a nightmare that I had to go to a wedding and all the clothes I had with me were random dresses from an antique mall that still smelled musty and were missing buttons/had tears. Right before I woke up I decided I would go with a black and white print high collared 70’s victorian dress.
December 10, 2025 at 3:30 PM
Had a nightmare that I had to go to a wedding and all the clothes I had with me were random dresses from an antique mall that still smelled musty and were missing buttons/had tears. Right before I woke up I decided I would go with a black and white print high collared 70’s victorian dress.
Love a Christmas song with backing vocals that go
CHRISTMAAAAAS
CHRISTMASAAAS
CHRISTMAAAAAS
CHRISTMAAAAAS
CHRISTMASAAAS
CHRISTMAAAAAS
December 5, 2025 at 4:39 PM
Love a Christmas song with backing vocals that go
CHRISTMAAAAAS
CHRISTMASAAAS
CHRISTMAAAAAS
CHRISTMAAAAAS
CHRISTMASAAAS
CHRISTMAAAAAS