Pinned
Honking in Morse code so the people in front of me know the show their kids are watching is really annoying.
Just a heads up if you go to see Song Sung Blue the theater will be full of old people that will cheer and boo at the Melania movie, so to cut the tension I recommend farting really loud.
December 27, 2025 at 8:42 PM
Just a heads up if you go to see Song Sung Blue the theater will be full of old people that will cheer and boo at the Melania movie, so to cut the tension I recommend farting really loud.
Everyone loves it when I say “Till death do us part” with a mouth full of popcorn
Every time I see the trailer for The Bride! I crack up at Christian Bale saying “Till death do us part”
December 27, 2025 at 7:57 PM
Everyone loves it when I say “Till death do us part” with a mouth full of popcorn
Still wild that Potter, Schade and Thiago are all 24
December 27, 2025 at 4:11 PM
Still wild that Potter, Schade and Thiago are all 24
Rick James in the studio at the mixing board, punches the air “Now THAT’s the Jingle Bell Rock!”
December 26, 2025 at 9:58 PM
Rick James in the studio at the mixing board, punches the air “Now THAT’s the Jingle Bell Rock!”
You know I got those Dick facts
December 26, 2025 at 9:32 PM
You know I got those Dick facts
I hope Jehovahs Witnesses can celebrate Toyotathon
December 19, 2025 at 5:00 PM
I hope Jehovahs Witnesses can celebrate Toyotathon
Working on a Christmas stand up persona called Abby-nezer where all of my crowd work is asking women if they bought the prize turkey hanging up at the Poulterers on the corner or is that their husband
December 18, 2025 at 7:10 PM
Working on a Christmas stand up persona called Abby-nezer where all of my crowd work is asking women if they bought the prize turkey hanging up at the Poulterers on the corner or is that their husband
I really do need tiny cans of Waterloo.
December 15, 2025 at 4:44 AM
I really do need tiny cans of Waterloo.
Glad I got big feet
'Cause they're so good for dancin'
Glad you got big legs
'Cause they're so good when we're romancin'
You still got the flavor
And I'm hungry for your love
So I'm gon' play this one jam
That'll make you wanna kiss somebody
'Cause they're so good for dancin'
Glad you got big legs
'Cause they're so good when we're romancin'
You still got the flavor
And I'm hungry for your love
So I'm gon' play this one jam
That'll make you wanna kiss somebody
December 14, 2025 at 8:30 PM
Glad I got big feet
'Cause they're so good for dancin'
Glad you got big legs
'Cause they're so good when we're romancin'
You still got the flavor
And I'm hungry for your love
So I'm gon' play this one jam
That'll make you wanna kiss somebody
'Cause they're so good for dancin'
Glad you got big legs
'Cause they're so good when we're romancin'
You still got the flavor
And I'm hungry for your love
So I'm gon' play this one jam
That'll make you wanna kiss somebody
I think we deserve to know who is actually giving new cars as Christmas presents.
December 14, 2025 at 5:31 PM
I think we deserve to know who is actually giving new cars as Christmas presents.
For a minute I thought Kayode was gonna throw it right into the net for a goal
December 14, 2025 at 4:36 PM
For a minute I thought Kayode was gonna throw it right into the net for a goal
There’s gotta be a Unitarian Church out there putting on a PeeWee’s Christmas Special pageant and I’m gonna find it.
December 11, 2025 at 5:20 AM
There’s gotta be a Unitarian Church out there putting on a PeeWee’s Christmas Special pageant and I’m gonna find it.
Turns out no one I work with has seen Arrested Development so I should probably stop saying “What a fun sexy time for you!” before someone tells HR.
December 10, 2025 at 10:26 PM
Turns out no one I work with has seen Arrested Development so I should probably stop saying “What a fun sexy time for you!” before someone tells HR.
Had a nightmare that I had to go to a wedding and all the clothes I had with me were random dresses from an antique mall that still smelled musty and were missing buttons/had tears. Right before I woke up I decided I would go with a black and white print high collared 70’s victorian dress.
December 10, 2025 at 3:30 PM
Had a nightmare that I had to go to a wedding and all the clothes I had with me were random dresses from an antique mall that still smelled musty and were missing buttons/had tears. Right before I woke up I decided I would go with a black and white print high collared 70’s victorian dress.
Love a Christmas song with backing vocals that go
CHRISTMAAAAAS
CHRISTMASAAAS
CHRISTMAAAAAS
CHRISTMAAAAAS
CHRISTMASAAAS
CHRISTMAAAAAS
December 5, 2025 at 4:39 PM
Love a Christmas song with backing vocals that go
CHRISTMAAAAAS
CHRISTMASAAAS
CHRISTMAAAAAS
CHRISTMAAAAAS
CHRISTMASAAAS
CHRISTMAAAAAS
Learning Swedish is pretty fun, if only for the thrill of knowing the names of stuff at Ikea. My latest favorite is a duvet cover called Hamnsenap (port mustard).
December 2, 2025 at 9:31 PM
Learning Swedish is pretty fun, if only for the thrill of knowing the names of stuff at Ikea. My latest favorite is a duvet cover called Hamnsenap (port mustard).
Wendy’s Carvers💕
December 1, 2025 at 3:14 AM
Wendy’s Carvers💕
The Mistletoe Jam (Everybody Kiss Somebody)
YouTube video by Luther Vandross - Topic
m.youtube.com
November 28, 2025 at 3:15 AM
Mrs Claus like 🤶🏻 “I know a guy who is at his Limit…”
November 26, 2025 at 7:38 PM
Mrs Claus like 🤶🏻 “I know a guy who is at his Limit…”
Mountain Dew should have a Christmas song.
November 23, 2025 at 11:48 PM
Mountain Dew should have a Christmas song.
What do you mean there isn’t a Imax 3D showing of Nuremberg??
November 22, 2025 at 3:06 AM
What do you mean there isn’t a Imax 3D showing of Nuremberg??
I’m a sucker for a Baroque/Broke pun and boy did I fully laugh out loud when I saw the name of the new TBTL episode. Thanks bros @lukeburbank.bsky.social @walsh.bsky.social
November 20, 2025 at 10:28 PM
I’m a sucker for a Baroque/Broke pun and boy did I fully laugh out loud when I saw the name of the new TBTL episode. Thanks bros @lukeburbank.bsky.social @walsh.bsky.social
I’m a roast comedian but only for making fun of flatware at Crate&Barrel via text with my sister.
November 19, 2025 at 6:38 PM
I’m a roast comedian but only for making fun of flatware at Crate&Barrel via text with my sister.
Going on record as wanting a Matteo Lane and Nick Smith Christmas album.
November 16, 2025 at 8:23 PM
Going on record as wanting a Matteo Lane and Nick Smith Christmas album.