“abbey” “willis”
@abbeyiguess.bsky.social
49 followers 47 following 220 posts
lowkey scared
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abbeyiguess.bsky.social
your honor in my defense i didn’t even want to they made me
abbeyiguess.bsky.social
no you see, you don’t just “join antifa.” they send a gender queer second grader wearing tshirt that says “mommy’s little feminist” to your door and she/they threatens your life until you swear fealty to antifa and its grand wizard michelle obama
abbeyiguess.bsky.social
people who say skimpy clothes “do not leave much to the imagination” are exposing a critical skill issue. think a little harder. perhaps there are severed baby doll heads under my halter top
abbeyiguess.bsky.social
i said YES!!!!!! he asked if i’ve always been like this
abbeyiguess.bsky.social
i like talking about astrology, not because i’m super into it; but because i love any opportunity to steer the conversation towards being about me
abbeyiguess.bsky.social
pussy so haunting call that eerie canal
abbeyiguess.bsky.social
taking performance enhancing drugs to apply the perfect schmear of cream cheese to my bagel
abbeyiguess.bsky.social
thank you for complimenting my strawman’s argument, he stood out in the field all day coming up with it. even refused to hang out with his crow buddies he was so focused
abbeyiguess.bsky.social
feeding my baby in a gamer chair since he wants to play with his food so goddamn much
abbeyiguess.bsky.social
missing wherever i was before i joined this whole mess of a planet. don’t remember much about it but i get the feeling it was chill as hell
abbeyiguess.bsky.social
i have a mild cold and also just got
my period and also have been out of my adderall for 3 days. my insides are entirely made of goop the moment
abbeyiguess.bsky.social
thank you Philadelphia for discovering cream cheese. it must’ve been very exciting. really put your city on the map! it wasn’t there before
abbeyiguess.bsky.social
i think it should be called “creamed cheese” for the cheese has been creamed, you see
abbeyiguess.bsky.social
it feels like swift’s new album is a test to see how bad her music can be and still sell. it sounds like someone fed her entire discography to an AI and said “now make something like these but even worse” and then just immediately released whatever it spit out without human edits
abbeyiguess.bsky.social
i thought it was kinda festive for halloween because you could imagine i’m seeing a ghost or a monster perhaps
abbeyiguess.bsky.social
no actually i absolutely love how pictures taken of me look as though someone i’ve never met tried to draw me from memory
Reposted by “abbey” “willis”
abbeyiguess.bsky.social
sometimes i worry i’m not really bisexual because i’ve never worked as a barista before. seems like the kind of experience you’re supposed to have in order to qualify
abbeyiguess.bsky.social
i can barely wrap my head around the aerodynamics of an airplane let alone the mechanics of a witch’s flying broom. the physics of that is something i’ve always been skeptical of
abbeyiguess.bsky.social
communist lil jon: snap our fingers, do our step. we can do it together
abbeyiguess.bsky.social
[snapping my fingers and doing my step] man i have to do everything by myself around here
abbeyiguess.bsky.social
a toaster turns bread into scary bread
abbeyiguess.bsky.social
a toaster is sort of like a jack-in-the-box in some ways
abbeyiguess.bsky.social
blaming my tummy ache on the radical left democrats