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f*male b*tch 🇵🇸

@ahhmandah.bsky.social

2.3K followers 860 following 5.4K posts

just a brain floating in a jar of formaldehyde. you can't come to my birthday ok you can 📍 tāmaki makaurau aotearoa nz on te kawerau-a-maki land if you didn't vote stop reading this right now. you're grounded

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f*male b*tch 🇵🇸 @ahhmandah.bsky.social · 5h

my dog is getting older and not so keen on walks after work anymore. yesterday we happily did 13,000 steps and tonight she absolutely could not even be fucked going up the driveway. I would feel too guilty to walk without her so we are on the couch being silly bums together watching horrors

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f*male b*tch 🇵🇸 @ahhmandah.bsky.social · 12h

you go a few weeks without eating properly and all of a sudden your beloved hot and spicy shin ramyun is HOT AND SPICY? what a rip off

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f*male b*tch 🇵🇸 @ahhmandah.bsky.social · 17h

haha that's nice to hear!!!

f*male b*tch 🇵🇸 @ahhmandah.bsky.social · 17h

unimpressed by being woken up by a scam call this morning. I often have project managers etc call me so I do answer unknown numbers. "yes hello ma'am this is your bank calling" which bank? "your bank ma'am" ohhh I get it, you're a dodgy little cunt who called me before 7am to scam me "no ma'am"

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f*male b*tch 🇵🇸 @ahhmandah.bsky.social · 17h

happy birthday!!

f*male b*tch 🇵🇸 @ahhmandah.bsky.social · 17h

sorry Julie, I can't today

"can't what"

can't

"what can't you do"

I can't do

"why can't you"

because I can't

f*male b*tch 🇵🇸 @ahhmandah.bsky.social · 17h

when I was deep in comedy with my bff before covid we banned him from coming to our show lol. no ragerts. miserable man alright

Hosking & Hawkesby banned share.google/YlDEVxD0V0jF...

Hosking & Hawkesby banned

The Comedy Festival officially kicks off this week and two cheeky Kiwi comedians are the publicity pot by announcing the celebs that aren’t allowed to atte

share.google

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f*male b*tch 🇵🇸 @ahhmandah.bsky.social · 18h

but not only did they all absolutely see, they all were cry laughing in there. one guy had to leave the room and crouch down in the hallway gasping for air. I would have been in hysterics too if it wasn't me it happened to

f*male b*tch 🇵🇸 @ahhmandah.bsky.social · 18h

only pants is always a good idea. a few years ago I popped out to grab some lunch and walked past the window of our board room with 16 ppl in it. a sudden gust of wind lifted my dress right up around my face and I could not pull it down with my one free hand until I got inside. nobody said anything

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f*male b*tch 🇵🇸 @ahhmandah.bsky.social · 1d

it's not worth doing home detention or jail time for a loser. but it's not necessarily a crime to intimidate them and get in between them and their target. I don't really have much advice and I barely keep my own composure sometimes. a slightly pathological lack of fear doesn't help or hurt lol

f*male b*tch 🇵🇸 @ahhmandah.bsky.social · 1d

I am always impressed by how quickly face-planters get back into action!

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f*male b*tch 🇵🇸 @ahhmandah.bsky.social · 1d

I will be there for them and I'm only a few km away and I'm on FUCKING DUTY

f*male b*tch 🇵🇸 @ahhmandah.bsky.social · 1d

I'm so angry. I've had drinks and bbqs with this guy for over 12 years and he just starts smashing their home up in the night because he was indignant at not being told she's pregnant. because WHAT IF HE SMASHED THEIR HOME UP IN THE NIGHT

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f*male b*tch 🇵🇸 @ahhmandah.bsky.social · 1d

this is literally the only thing that stops me sometimes

f*male b*tch 🇵🇸 @ahhmandah.bsky.social · 1d

I'm sorry and delighted to read this

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f*male b*tch 🇵🇸 @ahhmandah.bsky.social · 1d

this is how you show love? by terrorising your post-partum daughter, her fresh tiny infant and her mother in the middle of the night? really doing yourself a favour pal. I don't know how someone can do that and still think they have a genuine grievance that should be considered

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f*male b*tch 🇵🇸 @ahhmandah.bsky.social · 1d

my friend's teen daughter didn't tell her estranged dad about her pregnancy. he found out a week ago after she had the kid. promptly went & smashed 4 windows on their house. gee I wonder why they didn't want you involved ya cunt. it's taking everything I have to not go beat the shit out of him

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f*male b*tch 🇵🇸 @ahhmandah.bsky.social · 1d

she had a 3 hour walk and couldn't give a shit. all sniffed out

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f*male b*tch 🇵🇸 @ahhmandah.bsky.social · 1d

there's nothing wrong with me. I firmly believe that everybody vigorously frills their toes against the other ankle for hours

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f*male b*tch 🇵🇸 @ahhmandah.bsky.social · 1d

my voice therapy doctor said today was the first anyone's ever thrown up on her while getting scoped. proud to be a trailblazer!

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f*male b*tch 🇵🇸 @ahhmandah.bsky.social · 1d

should be bare minimum!!

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f*male b*tch 🇵🇸 @ahhmandah.bsky.social · 1d

love to see the support whanau

f*male b*tch 🇵🇸 @ahhmandah.bsky.social · 1d

THANK YOU. was that so hard

f*male b*tch 🇵🇸 @ahhmandah.bsky.social · 1d

I am too busy at work to take time for a medical appointment but I did get to help an older man get from the carpark to level 6 outpatients and he was very mad about the lack of signage and I agree. it's not ideal for older people who just need to get somewhere while navigating a huge hospital

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f*male b*tch 🇵🇸 @ahhmandah.bsky.social · 1d

SHARE THEM

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