Alana Muir
@alanaisalive.bsky.social
I live in Scotland. I have a degree in history; please stop making me use it. No one cares about your diet. She/they
Got half of a new tattoo. I will get the rest in December and will post a picture then. It is Tom Servo.
October 20, 2025 at 1:36 PM
Got half of a new tattoo. I will get the rest in December and will post a picture then. It is Tom Servo.
The UK government makes you prove that you are friends with people from an approved list of upper class professions before they'll even let you get a passport and no one even gives a shit how fucking classist that is.
October 17, 2025 at 1:15 PM
The UK government makes you prove that you are friends with people from an approved list of upper class professions before they'll even let you get a passport and no one even gives a shit how fucking classist that is.
If the UK government wanted to save money, they could just stop asking me for information that I've already given them. Why do I have to submit a reference for my passport application after I've already given them 2 for my citizenship application?
October 16, 2025 at 2:44 PM
If the UK government wanted to save money, they could just stop asking me for information that I've already given them. Why do I have to submit a reference for my passport application after I've already given them 2 for my citizenship application?
I have the start of a cold because even after a global pandemic, some people haven't learned to cover their fucking mouths when they cough and some of those people live in my damned house. Might as well just spit directly in my mouth.
October 15, 2025 at 3:38 PM
I have the start of a cold because even after a global pandemic, some people haven't learned to cover their fucking mouths when they cough and some of those people live in my damned house. Might as well just spit directly in my mouth.
I've worn a bra two days in a row now and that's definitely my limit. My ribcage hurts.
October 10, 2025 at 9:42 PM
I've worn a bra two days in a row now and that's definitely my limit. My ribcage hurts.
I don't know who needs to hear this, but the "meteor men" in All Star is very clearly referring to meteorologists, and also you're kind of bad at inferring meaning from context if you didn't get that.
October 9, 2025 at 11:41 AM
I don't know who needs to hear this, but the "meteor men" in All Star is very clearly referring to meteorologists, and also you're kind of bad at inferring meaning from context if you didn't get that.
If I click on your YouTube video to watch some normal and wholesome cave diving or bigfoot hunting content, and I see AI slop in your images, I will immediately go back to the browse page and click the "don't recommend this channel to me" button.
October 5, 2025 at 4:23 PM
If I click on your YouTube video to watch some normal and wholesome cave diving or bigfoot hunting content, and I see AI slop in your images, I will immediately go back to the browse page and click the "don't recommend this channel to me" button.
I'm 48, so every time I feel warm it's a game of Climate Change, Fever or Menopause?
October 1, 2025 at 2:58 PM
I'm 48, so every time I feel warm it's a game of Climate Change, Fever or Menopause?
There was a Doctor Who episode from 2010 on tv. It was kind of jarring seeing something from way back when we thought humanity had a future.
September 27, 2025 at 8:03 PM
There was a Doctor Who episode from 2010 on tv. It was kind of jarring seeing something from way back when we thought humanity had a future.
If I'm a disabled immigrant, do I need to "get back to work" even though that would mean I'm "stealing your job?" Joking. I know that as a disabled immigrant, you think I should either fuck off back where I came from or die and decrease the surplus population.
September 27, 2025 at 11:43 AM
If I'm a disabled immigrant, do I need to "get back to work" even though that would mean I'm "stealing your job?" Joking. I know that as a disabled immigrant, you think I should either fuck off back where I came from or die and decrease the surplus population.
Question for the Americans: Why does your constitution have a 25th amendmend if no one will ever use the damned thing?
September 26, 2025 at 11:40 AM
Question for the Americans: Why does your constitution have a 25th amendmend if no one will ever use the damned thing?
"They go low, we go high!" And just like Mount Everest, that high road is quickly becoming clogged with trash and corpses.
September 21, 2025 at 12:06 PM
"They go low, we go high!" And just like Mount Everest, that high road is quickly becoming clogged with trash and corpses.
I've only got about 2 hours left to complain about how bad British apple pie is before I become British. Bramley apples taste like corroded batteries. It's like you're all afraid of cinnamon. Why are there sometimes raisins?
September 17, 2025 at 7:52 AM
I've only got about 2 hours left to complain about how bad British apple pie is before I become British. Bramley apples taste like corroded batteries. It's like you're all afraid of cinnamon. Why are there sometimes raisins?
As President Trump prepares to travel to the UK, I hope that his lackeys remind him that compression stockings are woke and he should sit in one position as much as possible during his flight.
September 16, 2025 at 2:36 PM
As President Trump prepares to travel to the UK, I hope that his lackeys remind him that compression stockings are woke and he should sit in one position as much as possible during his flight.
He confessed because it was absolutely killing him that liberals and etsy witches were getting credit for his work.
September 13, 2025 at 10:57 AM
He confessed because it was absolutely killing him that liberals and etsy witches were getting credit for his work.
When I applied for UK citizenship, I put down my tattoo artist as a reference because if I were planning to do crimes, I would not be making myself this easily identifiable on purpose.
September 11, 2025 at 11:47 AM
When I applied for UK citizenship, I put down my tattoo artist as a reference because if I were planning to do crimes, I would not be making myself this easily identifiable on purpose.
Whoever can figure out how to hide the obnoxious giant "community posts" on YouTube can have my firstborn child and a cookie.
September 9, 2025 at 12:07 AM
Whoever can figure out how to hide the obnoxious giant "community posts" on YouTube can have my firstborn child and a cookie.
Had a bath. Now hot and moist.
September 7, 2025 at 1:37 PM
Had a bath. Now hot and moist.
I managed to buy a bedding set that is the exact same shade of beige as a manky old pillow that a greasy single guy has refused to wash or replace for 10 years. I do a double take whenever I first see my pillows. Might be why that color was half price.
September 2, 2025 at 4:13 PM
I managed to buy a bedding set that is the exact same shade of beige as a manky old pillow that a greasy single guy has refused to wash or replace for 10 years. I do a double take whenever I first see my pillows. Might be why that color was half price.
My dream life is one where I never have to see another goddam ad for Temu.
August 31, 2025 at 12:32 PM
My dream life is one where I never have to see another goddam ad for Temu.
RFK Jr. moves like this guy. He might be an alien sack of bugs.
August 30, 2025 at 6:28 PM
RFK Jr. moves like this guy. He might be an alien sack of bugs.
My hot take: Trump was advised by Putin to start spreading health rumors. Putin has been "secretly dying of cancer" for like a decade. If you are dying any minute now, would-be assassins won't bother.
August 30, 2025 at 2:57 PM
My hot take: Trump was advised by Putin to start spreading health rumors. Putin has been "secretly dying of cancer" for like a decade. If you are dying any minute now, would-be assassins won't bother.
I need something to wear to my citizenship ceremony, and it might just be me, but all the sort of halfway professional office kind of clothes right now are hideous. Weird peplums and puffy bits and ruffles everywhere. I wear jeans and tshirts most of the time because women's clothes are so cringe.
August 23, 2025 at 4:15 PM
I need something to wear to my citizenship ceremony, and it might just be me, but all the sort of halfway professional office kind of clothes right now are hideous. Weird peplums and puffy bits and ruffles everywhere. I wear jeans and tshirts most of the time because women's clothes are so cringe.
Overseas US citizens still have to file their taxes with the IRS (only the US, UAE and North Korea require this). So if mail-in voting is eliminated that is taxation without representation.
August 19, 2025 at 11:34 AM
Overseas US citizens still have to file their taxes with the IRS (only the US, UAE and North Korea require this). So if mail-in voting is eliminated that is taxation without representation.
Challenge for Christians: communicate your beliefs without using fear tactics or emotional manipulation. Yes, I'm talking about you, Aunt Ruth.
August 17, 2025 at 4:16 PM
Challenge for Christians: communicate your beliefs without using fear tactics or emotional manipulation. Yes, I'm talking about you, Aunt Ruth.