Author | Lightnews

Alan Ranta

@alanranta.bsky.social

1.3K followers 650 following 1.3K posts

Freelance ranter about music, movies, books and TV since 2004. Bylines in such esteemed outlets as Exclaim!, PopMatters, Bandcamp, CBC Music and the Georgia Straight. Longtime Polaris Prize and Juno Awards juror. (he/him)

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Alan Ranta @alanranta.bsky.social · 5h

I’ve spent the last three days balancing and mixing what ultimately became a 9-hour mix of Halloween music and sounds which were, to the best of my ability, entirely sourced from 1976. This may be the greatest thing I’ve ever done. Enjoy, freaks!

www.dropbox.com/scl/fo/pnpdo...

Alan Ranta @alanranta.bsky.social · 1h

I wasn't planning on taking her picture, but when she made that face, I had to get my camera quick. She looked so mad, and my laughter and pointing didn't help. I took it off right after. She's made some faces before, but I've never seen her wrinkle her nose with fury like that. So small, so mad.

Alan Ranta @alanranta.bsky.social · 1h

Toki mostly just eats every cable she can find, anything that is plugged in. Surprising that she hasn't shocked herself yet.

Alan Ranta @alanranta.bsky.social · 1h

She has eaten so many of my USB-C, HDMI, extension chords and other cables over the last two years. Toki definitely gives out more than she takes.

Alan Ranta @alanranta.bsky.social · 1h

Seriously, you gotta hear Bill Burr's latest podcast. He has some opinions about Shohei Ohtani, and we all definitely care what he has to say. There has never been a man with more integrity than Billy Bonesaw. What an honourable man of unwavering moral character, a man who walks the walk to Chili's.

Alan Ranta @alanranta.bsky.social · 3h

Toki loves her new hat. You can see the ecstasy on her face.

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Alan Ranta @alanranta.bsky.social · 4h

Blame Canada. Happy to accept.

www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/t...

Today We Celebrate the Time Canada Burned Down the White House

Two hundred years ago today, a 36-year old America declared war, for the second time, against Great Britain

www.smithsonianmag.com

Alan Ranta @alanranta.bsky.social · 4h

Huh... She kinda looks like Brie Larson.

Alan Ranta @alanranta.bsky.social · 5h

Alan Ranta @alanranta.bsky.social · 19h

Bruce Springsteen seems like a cool enough guy, but I have never enjoyed his music. When are they going to do a biopic about Sylvester and Patrick Cowley?

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Alan Ranta @alanranta.bsky.social · 1d

I changed the caption. Finally, an excuse to use comic sans!

Alan Ranta @alanranta.bsky.social · 1d

Eat Gumby.

Discontinued FOoOoOoOods! 🎃🍫👻🍬 @discontinuedfoods.bsky.social · 1d

Gumbys (1985-1986): Colorful, assorted-flavored "fruit pectin jelly snacks" shaped like the smiling face of the titular claymation icon. A promotional item, they were primarily sold at film festivals and animation-related events, as well as at some collectibles shops.

A rectangular box with an image of Gumby, scratching his head in confusion, as his horse, Pokey, shakes a tree full of red, orange, yellow, and green fruits. As they fruits fall to the ground, they resemble Gumby's head and face. To the right is the word "Gumbys" in light orange letters, and then "try my delicious Fruit Pectin Jelly Snacks, made with all natural ingredients. You'll love 'em"

Alan Ranta @alanranta.bsky.social · 1d

Get out your cancelling brooms, fellow libs! It turns out Black Panther was a colonialist.

Alan Ranta @alanranta.bsky.social · 1d

I love 'Peacemaker,' but that season two finale felt way too much like an episode of 'Castle.'

Alan Ranta @alanranta.bsky.social · 2d

We already have @sonemic.com. Why do we need this?

Alan Ranta @alanranta.bsky.social · 2d

Are the 1920s coming back? Andrew Schulz looks like rejected extra from 'Boardwalk Empire,' and he talks like one too.

Alan Ranta @alanranta.bsky.social · 2d

"Sea Hunt" is as good as a symphony to my ears.

youtu.be/WYQVTZpVgGY?...

Patrick Cowley - Sea Hunt

YouTube video by UnidiscMusic

youtu.be

Alan Ranta @alanranta.bsky.social · 3d

Love that dude.

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Alan Ranta @alanranta.bsky.social · 3d

Pretty sure Andrew Schulz's moustache is a groyper caterpillar who ratatouille's his ability to spew the smuggest, dumbest takes in the entire toxic Rogansphere while giving sloppy blowjobs to dictators. This guy will always look like a bigger joke than he could ever make. What an absolute wanker.

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Alan Ranta @alanranta.bsky.social · 3d

If you needed another reason to boycott the Spotify war machine, turns out they support ICE too.

DJ Mag @djmag.com · 3d

A Spotify spokesperson has reportedly defended its decision to allow US Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) recruitment advertisements to run on the streaming platform

djmag.com/news/spotify...

Spotify defends running ICE recruitment ads about “dangerous illegals” as part of US government campaign

The Stockholm-based streaming giant said the ICE ads, which contain fearmongering references to "dangerous illegals", do not violate policy

djmag.com

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Alan Ranta @alanranta.bsky.social · 3d

Why isn't stripping an Olympic event? I've seen people do unbelievable, gymnastic things on a pole. Shit blows my mind. I can't even to a pull-up, and they're spinning around at a 45 degree angle doing the splits.

Reposted by Alan Ranta

Record Kicks @recordkicks.bsky.social · 7d

Locked-in grooves, dusty fingers and Psy-funk from the East. “Ornithology” by #theDiasonics is out now! 🧨

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Alan Ranta @alanranta.bsky.social · 4d

He ended up producing some mainstream hits after his initial indie buzz, sure. His success wouldn't have continued if he didn't connect on some legit tunes eventually. Like, just look as how pathetic Will Smith's recent campaign was. No amount of money can buy his crap fans.
youtu.be/uq7bbQiMpJI?...

Will Smith Just Tried To Make A Comeback... It's Not Going Well

YouTube video by Moon

youtu.be

Alan Ranta @alanranta.bsky.social · 4d

Fair enough. I don't think a direct PR campaign is the entire definition of an industry plant. There are many different layers to it. This guy prolly has a clearer definition than I operate with, and he may even disagree with me on the Weeknd.

youtu.be/dSfkdNSEuXo?...

The 5 Levels of Industry Plant

YouTube video by Jay Diggs

youtu.be

Alan Ranta @alanranta.bsky.social · 4d

In that respect, Big Star might count as an industry plant. They never ended up becoming very popular, but the industry tried to buzz 'em. Casablanca did a similar thing with KISS too, although I think they ended up blowing up later due to them releasing a live album.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4_l...

Big Star Nothing Can Hurt Me 2012 documentary film about American rock band

YouTube video by Heather Wood