Author | Lightnews

Amy Malkoff

Amy Malkoff

@amalkoff.bsky.social

600 followers 880 following 890 posts

Pithy takes on: music • me • politics • comedy • pop culture • science. My anonymous handle just happens to also be my real name.

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Amy Malkoff @amalkoff.bsky.social · 3h

"I just skip Thanksgiving and go right to Christmas"
OH. Do you? Really? What a creative take. 😒

Amy Malkoff @amalkoff.bsky.social · 23h

Per my photo memories, 5 years ago I was making mushroom barley soup and now I wish I had mushroom barley soup

Amy Malkoff @amalkoff.bsky.social · 1d

Yesss I was watching this (very weird) documentary about Aileen Wournos (sp?) and she said she was talking to someone while in jail and long distance was costing (the person calling her) $1200 A MONTH, and that wasn't even international

Amy Malkoff @amalkoff.bsky.social · 1d

Adorable, and cats don't look "grumpy", we've just bought the idea that because dogs' mouths are open when they pant, they're "smiling", so therefore...

Amy Malkoff @amalkoff.bsky.social · 1d

There's are now a few generations of people who have never gone to a restaurant where the host asks, "smoking or non-smoking?" and I love that for them.

Amy Malkoff @amalkoff.bsky.social · 2d

And the only reason we don't call it child abuse is because generations of religious folks have decided it's fine. It's not.

Amy Malkoff @amalkoff.bsky.social · 2d

You're not, but I'm so sorry that you and so many others were taught this stuff. 😥

Amy Malkoff @amalkoff.bsky.social · 2d

My endless admiration to anyone who leaves the church (any church or religion), esp those who've been indoctrinated since childhood. Knowing that they may lose friends/family and community, but realizing magical thinking no longer serves (+ often does harm). Incredibly brave.

Amy Malkoff @amalkoff.bsky.social · 2d

*those of us who actually like Thanksgiving are told to step down

Amy Malkoff @amalkoff.bsky.social · 2d

Halloween is, of course, the only (semi) barrier to two+ months of Christmas mania ("I PUT UP MY TREE UP ON NOVEMBER 1st AND DON'T TAKE IT DOWN UNTIL MAY EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE I'M ALLOWED!!")* but at least it's possible to drive through Salem again 🤷🏼

Amy Malkoff @amalkoff.bsky.social · 2d

That's unfortunate

Amy Malkoff @amalkoff.bsky.social · 2d

No

Amy Malkoff @amalkoff.bsky.social · 3d

Pssst, it's not a "one time code for security" if it's every time you log in, for every account

Amy Malkoff @amalkoff.bsky.social · 3d

I wish that one of those restaurant robot waiters would come rolling into the bedroom with several levels of desserts. That is all.

Amy Malkoff @amalkoff.bsky.social · 3d

Hey adults: you know you don't have to join in on the 6 7 thing too, right?

Amy Malkoff @amalkoff.bsky.social · 4d

I was just thinking this. Why are they interesting to anyone? Why have they been able to parlay their complete lack of character into so many businesses and shows?

Amy Malkoff @amalkoff.bsky.social · 4d

I have a last minute specialist appointment tomorrow and I'm not sure what's scarier: the appointment itself, or that it's in Salem...on Halloween

Amy Malkoff @amalkoff.bsky.social · 4d

Went to a pizza place to get a sandwich and the workers were dressed as pizza. A+

Amy Malkoff @amalkoff.bsky.social · 5d

If you're a Swiftie who just can't get enough of songs with a 5 note vocal range, wait until you hear Toto's "Africa"! 😄

And while I have you: go hear some local/regional (non-stadium) live music

Amy Malkoff @amalkoff.bsky.social · 5d

Imagine creating manufactured crisis after crisis that are unnecessary and actively harming people, saying out loud that you hate half of the country, and still having slavering worshippers who think you're a good guy

Amy Malkoff @amalkoff.bsky.social · 5d

If you avoid seasoning your food with salt or pepper (or other seasonings) because you consider them "unhealthy", that's not health, it's diet culture programming, babes. Enjoy your bland food.

Amy Malkoff @amalkoff.bsky.social · 5d

That's poetic

Amy Malkoff @amalkoff.bsky.social · 5d

Periodic reminder that not all non-drinkers are seeking dupes of alcoholic drinks or things that mimic alcohol flavors. But rather, we want flavorful and interesting alternatives to "we have Coke products 🤷🏻‍♀️".

Amy Malkoff @amalkoff.bsky.social · 6d

Not green, slightly green. So that they can be easily peeled and are delicious, but not so they have that mushy texture and sickly sweet, rotting smell

Amy Malkoff @amalkoff.bsky.social · 6d

Yes in the garbage, they are 😄