Author | Lightnews

Andy Iwancio @andyiwancio.bsky.social · 1d

@joshgondelman.bsky.social is the bestest, lets do it

Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman.bsky.social · 1d

People of Seattle!!! I am sorry for your recent baseball loss, but I am very excited to come to your city on 12/28 for one show!!! It’s the biggest Seattle venue I’ve ever played, and I’d love to see you there!!! Ticket link: www.ticketweb.com/event/josh-g...

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Andy Iwancio @andyiwancio.bsky.social · 1d

A state outline tattoo saves me the trouble of asking where someone got their DUI.

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Andy Iwancio @andyiwancio.bsky.social · 3d

You can now preorder my comedy album now! If you do, take a pic and i’ll send you some music i wrote as. bonus!

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Andy Iwancio @andyiwancio.bsky.social · 5d

Dogs hate the doors and *especially* people who are strange.

Andy Iwancio @andyiwancio.bsky.social · 6d

Mixing wines together in one glass makes a “port manteau”

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Andy Iwancio @andyiwancio.bsky.social · 8d

Top 5 horror movies that are good to you that are critical failures

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Andy Iwancio @andyiwancio.bsky.social · 8d

My goal is to get funny enough to join SNL or get unfunny enough to host.

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Andy Iwancio @andyiwancio.bsky.social · 9d

High school senior marching bands have majors that are minors getting ready to pick majors and minors.

Andy Iwancio @andyiwancio.bsky.social · 13d

You can’t reign in bloody good content like this.

Reposted by Andy Iwancio

David C Bell @moviehooligan.bsky.social · 14d

It’s not just that the actor who played the Cigarette Smoking Man is a competitive water skier, but it’s important to realize there’s a three minute video of him water skiing that you can watch.

youtu.be/8Zgys8Vn-4Y?...

William B. Davis Waterskiing - trick ski - June 2000

YouTube video by William B. Davis Official

youtu.be

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Andy Iwancio @andyiwancio.bsky.social · 16d

Top 3 things I think Josh has yelled:

1. “The price of these macarons is
OUT OF CONTROL!”
2. “Are we all just going to stand here and let this dog go UNPET?”
3. “Arranging books by color is fine for the gram, but the Dewey Decimal System deserves RESPECT”

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Andy Iwancio @andyiwancio.bsky.social · 16d

I swear there will be like five words on the front of an indie EP, I will google it to see what it sounds like, and the band/song will end up just being five other unrelated words.

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Andy Iwancio @andyiwancio.bsky.social · 16d

hullo!

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Andy Iwancio @andyiwancio.bsky.social · 17d

comedy EP for burn this records comes out 10/31!

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Andy Iwancio @andyiwancio.bsky.social · 18d

me realizing mid-song I don’t know all the words to a beatles song:

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Andy Iwancio @andyiwancio.bsky.social · 18d

Went to a rowdy wine tasting and a flight broke out.

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Andy Iwancio @andyiwancio.bsky.social · 18d

Accidentally wore a Sriacha sauce t-shirt to a Thai restaurant yesterday. You don’t wear the band’s merch to see their show.

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Andy Iwancio @andyiwancio.bsky.social · 19d

An adult bookstore is a library of sexual congress.

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Andy Iwancio @andyiwancio.bsky.social · 20d

PEDIALYTE: a big old bottle
of “I told you so”

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Andy Iwancio @andyiwancio.bsky.social · 21d

HAUNTED HOUSE EMPLOYEE
DRESSED AS ZOMBIE EATING
DISEMBOWELED BODY:
“So…this isn’t doing anything for you?”

ME: “I mean, it’s been a helluva year, the bar is kinda high. Honestly
the guilliotine guy I saw before cheered me up”

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Andy Iwancio @andyiwancio.bsky.social · 23d

I’ll use self-care if the line is too long at care.

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Andy Iwancio @andyiwancio.bsky.social · 23d

I feel like “we have no other details about the shooter at this time” is code for “we’re desperately searching through his search history for some trans porn”.

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Andy Iwancio @andyiwancio.bsky.social · 24d

My partner and I have gotten into very heated discussions over which of my friends’ pets we think is the cutest. It’s not “dogfighting”, but is “dog fighting”.

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Andy Iwancio @andyiwancio.bsky.social · 25d

Finally gotten into Hollow Knight, so I technically succumbed to beetlemania.

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