Angry Santa Elf
@angrysantaelf.bsky.social
Exactly why are we celebrating the holidays this year?
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The Elf Who Lost His Hand in a Tragic Toy Factory Accident (Holiday Special)
YouTube video by Francesco Marciuliano
youtu.be
The Elf Who Lost His Hand in a Tragic Toy Factory Accident—The heartwarming holiday special about Christmas joy and factory-related dismemberment youtu.be/cinypEf1xxQ
#christmas #holiday #holidayseason
#christmas #holiday #holidayseason
To everyone waiting outside Santa's North Pole factory for Black Friday deals, 1) You kinda don't get how this whole Santa thing works and 2) You kinda have only yourself to blame for the constant polar bear attacks.
November 28, 2025 at 3:42 PM
To everyone waiting outside Santa's North Pole factory for Black Friday deals, 1) You kinda don't get how this whole Santa thing works and 2) You kinda have only yourself to blame for the constant polar bear attacks.
Original Ending to "A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving"
November 27, 2025 at 6:23 PM
Original Ending to "A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving"
While Santa's away at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade we'll be drinking Snoopy Sno-Cone frozen margaritas until our hearts pump tequila #Thanksgiving #ThanksgivingDay
November 27, 2025 at 2:34 PM
While Santa's away at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade we'll be drinking Snoopy Sno-Cone frozen margaritas until our hearts pump tequila #Thanksgiving #ThanksgivingDay
Santa’s favorite phrase isn’t “Ho ho ho” but rather looking at all the hard work we did and saying “The f**k is this?”
November 26, 2025 at 11:48 PM
Santa’s favorite phrase isn’t “Ho ho ho” but rather looking at all the hard work we did and saying “The f**k is this?”
“You have to separate the art from the artist.”
No you f***ing don’t. Your relationship to art is your own. You define the boundaries.
Unless you’re me, who hates his “woodworker artist” boss Santa but needs the cash because the only other job here is Dentist, we already have one, and he’s an ass.
No you f***ing don’t. Your relationship to art is your own. You define the boundaries.
Unless you’re me, who hates his “woodworker artist” boss Santa but needs the cash because the only other job here is Dentist, we already have one, and he’s an ass.
November 26, 2025 at 9:01 PM
“You have to separate the art from the artist.”
No you f***ing don’t. Your relationship to art is your own. You define the boundaries.
Unless you’re me, who hates his “woodworker artist” boss Santa but needs the cash because the only other job here is Dentist, we already have one, and he’s an ass.
No you f***ing don’t. Your relationship to art is your own. You define the boundaries.
Unless you’re me, who hates his “woodworker artist” boss Santa but needs the cash because the only other job here is Dentist, we already have one, and he’s an ass.
Holiday stress
November 26, 2025 at 6:30 PM
Holiday stress
If you watch the end of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" closely you'll notice Santa drops most of the Misfit Toys over the Atlantic Ocean.
November 25, 2025 at 11:25 PM
If you watch the end of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" closely you'll notice Santa drops most of the Misfit Toys over the Atlantic Ocean.
You know you're sitting on the lap of the real Santa Claus if he asks you for money, a place to crash, or a ride around the world come Christmas Eve.
November 25, 2025 at 7:22 PM
You know you're sitting on the lap of the real Santa Claus if he asks you for money, a place to crash, or a ride around the world come Christmas Eve.
So we’ve reached THAT level of market saturation
November 25, 2025 at 3:03 PM
So we’ve reached THAT level of market saturation
Want to know which celebrities are on the verge of a massive scandal? For $20 a month get Santa’s “The Naughty List” email and read all the dirt we’ve collected.
November 22, 2025 at 11:16 PM
Want to know which celebrities are on the verge of a massive scandal? For $20 a month get Santa’s “The Naughty List” email and read all the dirt we’ve collected.
We have officially entered polar night here, when the sun won’t rise for another three months. We have already started worshipping some toys as gods. Other toys have taken up arms. I think I see wraiths. Dinner is for screaming. Help.
November 22, 2025 at 8:50 PM
We have officially entered polar night here, when the sun won’t rise for another three months. We have already started worshipping some toys as gods. Other toys have taken up arms. I think I see wraiths. Dinner is for screaming. Help.
Black Friday sales came early!
November 21, 2025 at 10:17 PM
Black Friday sales came early!
One week to Thanksgiving. Five weeks to Christmas. About three minutes before Santa starts faking a cold, coma or Hansen's disease to get out of delivering presents this year.
November 20, 2025 at 4:55 PM
One week to Thanksgiving. Five weeks to Christmas. About three minutes before Santa starts faking a cold, coma or Hansen's disease to get out of delivering presents this year.
Everyone who asks Santa for a car will have to come to the Arctic for a “Hands on a Hard Body”-style competition. Last one standing with a hand still on the car wins. Everyone else would have died of hypothermia in first 20 minutes.
November 19, 2025 at 11:56 PM
Everyone who asks Santa for a car will have to come to the Arctic for a “Hands on a Hard Body”-style competition. Last one standing with a hand still on the car wins. Everyone else would have died of hypothermia in first 20 minutes.
Trying to be fully present and centered so that when the time comes I’ll have the necessary focus to punch the right people.
November 19, 2025 at 5:35 PM
Trying to be fully present and centered so that when the time comes I’ll have the necessary focus to punch the right people.
You know you don’t like your job when you wake up each morning hoping it’s night so you can go back to bed again
November 19, 2025 at 4:35 PM
You know you don’t like your job when you wake up each morning hoping it’s night so you can go back to bed again
Thanks to the Cloudflare outage, Santa's Village was down all morning. When we went back online we only has wishlists up to 1972. So who still wants a Low Draft Number Ken Doll?
November 18, 2025 at 7:11 PM
Thanks to the Cloudflare outage, Santa's Village was down all morning. When we went back online we only has wishlists up to 1972. So who still wants a Low Draft Number Ken Doll?
Are you looking for holiday work? Are you willing to relocate? Are you bereft of any familial ties who may start an investigation into your factory and/or polar bear-related fatality? If you said "YES" to all contact SantaCo now!
November 17, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Are you looking for holiday work? Are you willing to relocate? Are you bereft of any familial ties who may start an investigation into your factory and/or polar bear-related fatality? If you said "YES" to all contact SantaCo now!
November 17, 2025 at 3:32 PM
Remember last year when we all wrote in our holiday cards "So long, 2024! Here's to a better 2025!"
How about this year we just write "Next month is January."
How about this year we just write "Next month is January."
November 17, 2025 at 2:54 PM
Remember last year when we all wrote in our holiday cards "So long, 2024! Here's to a better 2025!"
How about this year we just write "Next month is January."
How about this year we just write "Next month is January."
The original name for “The Game of Life” was “47 Peg Kids and Then You Die”
November 15, 2025 at 3:03 PM
The original name for “The Game of Life” was “47 Peg Kids and Then You Die”
Santa gets very tense Christmas Eve. So if you surprise him while he's delivering gifts that roundhouse kick is on you.
November 15, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Santa gets very tense Christmas Eve. So if you surprise him while he's delivering gifts that roundhouse kick is on you.
Sometimes Santa will wake up a kid Christmas Eve to ask “What do you think this text from my ex means? Do you think she wants me back?”
November 14, 2025 at 8:01 PM
Sometimes Santa will wake up a kid Christmas Eve to ask “What do you think this text from my ex means? Do you think she wants me back?”