I just want to hear Jack Nicholson finally say, "this country needs an enema."

#joker #usa

iykyk
I thought that was gang related shorthand.
I'm usually the last to know - fittingly.

Why are there so many drummer jokes?

I imagine it all began when a bunch of furry people around a fire were working out how to make a stone into a harmonica and one guy just stopped at sticks. Instant bad campfire song karma. Forever.

According to some posting political views, high IQ people are scared of whistles and loud noises.

High IQ people can be considered everyone's dogs.
I'm dubious that anyone with a high IQ came up with this.

Not funny times. Unless you have a special needs kid. Then it's Super Awkward City trying to explain things. That's been interesting. Euphemisms for ice pricks and evil clowns are funny, thankfully.

I never watched he-man growing up. Seems goofy flippant in the trailers when it could have gone hard-core pulp fantasy. The bad guy's an implausible skull skeleton with giant muscles for Pete's sake.

Low hanging fruit by the looks of it. 🥱

#TooBad #movie #HeHimMan

All this dread and anguish is probably what Middle Earth felt like before the Dark Lord and the hordes came.

I hope America passes the Midterms.

#stress #NewsCycles #Election

To someone from a single-celled blob to a nervous primate that got way too smart, invented fire, religion, taxes, outlasted every other human species, and somehow after six million years of glitches, and questionable fashion choices, ended up reading this on a glowing rectangle: welcome.

#welcome

If you're a prosecutor, is it better to quit or just play dumb and be in the way? Because either way, a Toyalist is going to replace you one way or another.

I think I'd suddenly become inept - talk the talk and then just stumble everywhere and slapstick my way into saving whomever I could.

It's damn cold outside and I just heard myself sound like an old man when confronted with the possibility of being colder tomorrow. I whipped around and there was no Ghost of Winter Storms to Come. 🫤 My future cold intolerance has finally arrived. 🥶

#cold #winter #Dresden #sledding

When Hollywood calls, I like that Sen Mark Kelly can be played by Hugh Jackman. The part of Stephen Miller, however, will be played by a shaved scrotum.

Oi! Just found out "passion" in German 🇩🇪 sounds something like LadyShaft.

I'm ok with that. Maybe I'll like learning German after all.

I feel bad.
Told my cat she's why we can't have nice cardboard boxes.

I feel like the definition of privilege is reading all this horrible news and having the peace around me to think up snarky stuff to say about it.

It's such a pity to be alive for this antique BS.

When you look like Einstein in your old pictures with big hair, just tell them that was your Experimental Phase.

Then wait.
Maybe a while.

#science #experiment #joke #grenade #Einstein #funny #ish

Listening to old Steven Wright material - he wasn't sure his grandfather was dead because maybe they'd just stuck him in the casket the wrong way around.

#batteries #humor #steve #joke #luddite #dead