On your dog walk you give them a few Pointers

My mate lost his arm in a farming accident, when he was 5, a few years ago he got into a fight, he swung at the bloke with his stump and the bloke ducked, the whole pub erupted laughing, they ended shaking hands, obviously with his good arm, not his stump.

My see through toaster emporium sold exactly what it said, but we would still get people in asking for a normal toaster, I’d tell my staff to tell them to fuck off to Argos.

For a lot of working class kids equestrian is the only way out of the ghetto

Yeah, don’t mention the name of the plant to save lives, keep it vague and non- specific

As a bricklayer and builder, I wouldn’t buy a new build as long as I’ve got a hole in my arse.

I mean, you could suggest he’d look better with his hair shaved and mention his bad breath, but I think he’s better off leaving you, you sound horrible.

If she finds out, you’ll up by yourself and that will be cannelloni