Ashlie Weeks, Esq.
@ashlieweeks.bsky.social
Lawyer advocate believer in truth justice facts evidence accountability & the rule of law. Animal lover & patent inventor. I love watermelon. My country is in shambles. Quality dad jokes fashion & sports. Opinions mine not my employer's.
Pinned
The Epstein files are redacted so hard they look like televisions when they're turned off.
Me talking to my friend on the phone:
Me: hey what's up
Him: nothing much how r u
M: great how is the family
H: my brother & his fiancee bought some grass to grow in a flower box outside their window & they've named the grass blades
M: ...
H: their favorite is Toby
M: idk where 2 go from here
Me: hey what's up
Him: nothing much how r u
M: great how is the family
H: my brother & his fiancee bought some grass to grow in a flower box outside their window & they've named the grass blades
M: ...
H: their favorite is Toby
M: idk where 2 go from here
January 24, 2026 at 2:31 AM
Me talking to my friend on the phone:
Me: hey what's up
Him: nothing much how r u
M: great how is the family
H: my brother & his fiancee bought some grass to grow in a flower box outside their window & they've named the grass blades
M: ...
H: their favorite is Toby
M: idk where 2 go from here
Me: hey what's up
Him: nothing much how r u
M: great how is the family
H: my brother & his fiancee bought some grass to grow in a flower box outside their window & they've named the grass blades
M: ...
H: their favorite is Toby
M: idk where 2 go from here
Reposted by Ashlie Weeks, Esq.
I just screamed laughed at this so loudly I startled the grazing deer outside of my house.
Milk sandwich is my new favorite descriptor.
Milk sandwich is my new favorite descriptor.
January 23, 2026 at 4:21 PM
I just screamed laughed at this so loudly I startled the grazing deer outside of my house.
Milk sandwich is my new favorite descriptor.
Milk sandwich is my new favorite descriptor.
I have a metaphor for this Vance feller:
The Hindenburg
The Hindenburg
January 23, 2026 at 11:05 PM
I have a metaphor for this Vance feller:
The Hindenburg
The Hindenburg
No problem
😂 needed that laugh
January 23, 2026 at 3:22 PM
No problem
I had to retrieve tampons @ the grocery store/was going 2 get a few groceries b4 the snowstorm & naturally the nutters wiped out bread/milk. Oddly both places were out of parsley too so apparently y'all milk sandwich addicts are adding parsley.
I guess presentation is everything. Thanks a lot.
I guess presentation is everything. Thanks a lot.
January 23, 2026 at 2:17 PM
I had to retrieve tampons @ the grocery store/was going 2 get a few groceries b4 the snowstorm & naturally the nutters wiped out bread/milk. Oddly both places were out of parsley too so apparently y'all milk sandwich addicts are adding parsley.
I guess presentation is everything. Thanks a lot.
I guess presentation is everything. Thanks a lot.
EVERYONE REMAIN CALM.
A NEIGHBOR CAME THROUGH AND THE CRISIS WAS AVERTED I REPEAT THE CRISIS HAS BEEN AVERTED.
EVERYONE RETURN TO YOUR NORMAL ROUTINES AND MAINTAIN SANE.
I WILL LIVE TO SEE ANOTHER DAY. MUTINY ABANDONED.
A NEIGHBOR CAME THROUGH AND THE CRISIS WAS AVERTED I REPEAT THE CRISIS HAS BEEN AVERTED.
EVERYONE RETURN TO YOUR NORMAL ROUTINES AND MAINTAIN SANE.
I WILL LIVE TO SEE ANOTHER DAY. MUTINY ABANDONED.
The dogs are out of baby organic carrots.
This is a total disaster.
This is a total disaster.
January 22, 2026 at 11:32 PM
EVERYONE REMAIN CALM.
A NEIGHBOR CAME THROUGH AND THE CRISIS WAS AVERTED I REPEAT THE CRISIS HAS BEEN AVERTED.
EVERYONE RETURN TO YOUR NORMAL ROUTINES AND MAINTAIN SANE.
I WILL LIVE TO SEE ANOTHER DAY. MUTINY ABANDONED.
A NEIGHBOR CAME THROUGH AND THE CRISIS WAS AVERTED I REPEAT THE CRISIS HAS BEEN AVERTED.
EVERYONE RETURN TO YOUR NORMAL ROUTINES AND MAINTAIN SANE.
I WILL LIVE TO SEE ANOTHER DAY. MUTINY ABANDONED.
lol
this was hours ago...
has anyone heard from ashlie since??
has anyone heard from ashlie since??
The dogs are out of baby organic carrots.
This is a total disaster.
This is a total disaster.
January 22, 2026 at 9:11 PM
lol
Reposted by Ashlie Weeks, Esq.
We must muster at least a platoon and march upon the closest grocery store.
Any less response is unacceptable.
Communicated by every dog everywhere.
Any less response is unacceptable.
Communicated by every dog everywhere.
January 22, 2026 at 4:15 PM
We must muster at least a platoon and march upon the closest grocery store.
Any less response is unacceptable.
Communicated by every dog everywhere.
Any less response is unacceptable.
Communicated by every dog everywhere.
The dogs are out of baby organic carrots.
This is a total disaster.
This is a total disaster.
January 22, 2026 at 3:30 PM
The dogs are out of baby organic carrots.
This is a total disaster.
This is a total disaster.
I just want to share the scale of the 2 brothers. The tiny one is the big brother. It looks ridiculous lol.
January 22, 2026 at 3:08 AM
I just want to share the scale of the 2 brothers. The tiny one is the big brother. It looks ridiculous lol.
Sending ICE to Philly is like sending Lego soldiers to secure cargo ships going through pirate waters.
My homies flip cars in the streets and bonfire random sh*t when they're HAPPY AND HUGGING EVERYONE after their boys win super bowls.
On a scale of egregiously stupid I rate this un-ratable.
My homies flip cars in the streets and bonfire random sh*t when they're HAPPY AND HUGGING EVERYONE after their boys win super bowls.
On a scale of egregiously stupid I rate this un-ratable.
January 21, 2026 at 12:58 PM
Sending ICE to Philly is like sending Lego soldiers to secure cargo ships going through pirate waters.
My homies flip cars in the streets and bonfire random sh*t when they're HAPPY AND HUGGING EVERYONE after their boys win super bowls.
On a scale of egregiously stupid I rate this un-ratable.
My homies flip cars in the streets and bonfire random sh*t when they're HAPPY AND HUGGING EVERYONE after their boys win super bowls.
On a scale of egregiously stupid I rate this un-ratable.
"The darkest places in hell are reserved for those who maintain their neutrality in times of moral crises."
Dante's Inferno
Dante's Inferno
January 20, 2026 at 2:33 AM
"The darkest places in hell are reserved for those who maintain their neutrality in times of moral crises."
Dante's Inferno
Dante's Inferno
Since that Dunn a** is collecting awards because we live in a simulation why not give him a real award like the Razzie for his State of the Union. That would be awesome. @therazzies.bsky.social
January 18, 2026 at 8:29 PM
Since that Dunn a** is collecting awards because we live in a simulation why not give him a real award like the Razzie for his State of the Union. That would be awesome. @therazzies.bsky.social
Pupdate: he's groomed. I had him in a half Nelson & he got in a round house kick to my ribcage & we called each other every ugly name in the boob while he pummeled me with his front paws & I held him between my thighs but he looks good. We're bffs again. Tiny psychopath.
January 18, 2026 at 8:20 PM
Pupdate: he's groomed. I had him in a half Nelson & he got in a round house kick to my ribcage & we called each other every ugly name in the boob while he pummeled me with his front paws & I held him between my thighs but he looks good. We're bffs again. Tiny psychopath.
Yall have a nice holiday weekend 😊
January 18, 2026 at 3:41 PM
Yall have a nice holiday weekend 😊
I bet if I did an interpretive dance to a kazoo playing Who Let the Dogs Out, I would sell far more tickets
January 18, 2026 at 4:20 AM
I bet if I did an interpretive dance to a kazoo playing Who Let the Dogs Out, I would sell far more tickets
I am a pillow again for the giant dog. I wanted to get my workout in now I have to wait because he's happy.
January 17, 2026 at 8:56 PM
I am a pillow again for the giant dog. I wanted to get my workout in now I have to wait because he's happy.
Yes thousands of percents
This can't be, I was told they were down 500, 600, 700, 800, 900, 1000, 1100, 1200 percent.
January 17, 2026 at 1:39 AM
Yes thousands of percents
Grocery prices are up a staggering 26%.
If you haven't figured out by now they literally do not give a s*iit about any of us.
Nor one. Literally no one and only their wallets.
Great work, non-voters. Thanks for the throat punch and drop kick to the crotch.
If you haven't figured out by now they literally do not give a s*iit about any of us.
Nor one. Literally no one and only their wallets.
Great work, non-voters. Thanks for the throat punch and drop kick to the crotch.
January 17, 2026 at 1:35 AM
Grocery prices are up a staggering 26%.
If you haven't figured out by now they literally do not give a s*iit about any of us.
Nor one. Literally no one and only their wallets.
Great work, non-voters. Thanks for the throat punch and drop kick to the crotch.
If you haven't figured out by now they literally do not give a s*iit about any of us.
Nor one. Literally no one and only their wallets.
Great work, non-voters. Thanks for the throat punch and drop kick to the crotch.
I have to trim tony dog's nails and groom him and I'm scared and I have anxiety and I don't deserve this kind of abuse and mistreatment. I'm a good person. I recycle. I shouldn't be almost murdered once a month.
January 16, 2026 at 11:46 PM
I have to trim tony dog's nails and groom him and I'm scared and I have anxiety and I don't deserve this kind of abuse and mistreatment. I'm a good person. I recycle. I shouldn't be almost murdered once a month.
I'm close to 100 push ups a day.
Who's ready to rumble...
Who's ready to rumble...
January 15, 2026 at 8:50 PM
I'm close to 100 push ups a day.
Who's ready to rumble...
Who's ready to rumble...
My left elbow feels fuzzy.
This is it. This is how I die isn't it
Remember me fondly my friends.
This is it. This is how I die isn't it
Remember me fondly my friends.
January 15, 2026 at 12:09 AM
My left elbow feels fuzzy.
This is it. This is how I die isn't it
Remember me fondly my friends.
This is it. This is how I die isn't it
Remember me fondly my friends.
Normally folks put trash in the garbage can when they find it but here in America we appoint them and elect them to the most important international offices in the world.
January 14, 2026 at 5:24 PM
Normally folks put trash in the garbage can when they find it but here in America we appoint them and elect them to the most important international offices in the world.
I cannot believe this adorable hunk of 115 muscle and love and cuddles is not getting the attention he deserves. I won't tell him so his feelings are not hurt. He's sensitive.
January 14, 2026 at 3:56 PM
I cannot believe this adorable hunk of 115 muscle and love and cuddles is not getting the attention he deserves. I won't tell him so his feelings are not hurt. He's sensitive.
I taught MACHETIE the command of "oogita boogita"
January 14, 2026 at 2:40 PM
I taught MACHETIE the command of "oogita boogita"