Ashlie Weeks, Esq.
@ashlieweeks.bsky.social
Lawyer advocate believer in truth justice facts evidence accountability & the rule of law. Animal lover & patent inventor. I love watermelon. My country is in shambles. Quality dad jokes fashion & sports. Opinions mine not my employer's.
Pinned
The Epstein files are redacted so hard they look like televisions when they're turned off.
I love how everyone thought I was holding a stuffed turkey in this photo when in fact it's the big boi's enormous noggin'. Here he is laying next to his big little brother of 9 pounds.
January 4, 2026 at 5:30 PM
I love how everyone thought I was holding a stuffed turkey in this photo when in fact it's the big boi's enormous noggin'. Here he is laying next to his big little brother of 9 pounds.
So starting a war in Venezuela means inflation will go down along w unemployment & housing will be affordable & health insurance will be cheaper & grocery prices will go down & we don't need to ban books anymore & everyone who is an Epstein pedophile will be arrested right that's what this means yes
January 4, 2026 at 4:00 PM
So starting a war in Venezuela means inflation will go down along w unemployment & housing will be affordable & health insurance will be cheaper & grocery prices will go down & we don't need to ban books anymore & everyone who is an Epstein pedophile will be arrested right that's what this means yes
I just watched a video on how to wake up a sleeping kangaroo.
If anyone ever needs help with this just hit me up.
If anyone ever needs help with this just hit me up.
January 4, 2026 at 3:38 AM
I just watched a video on how to wake up a sleeping kangaroo.
If anyone ever needs help with this just hit me up.
If anyone ever needs help with this just hit me up.
Thank you
It’s so unfair. You seem like a good person, too!
January 3, 2026 at 5:22 PM
Thank you
Today I am the pillow for a 115 pound staffie named MACHETIE.
January 3, 2026 at 5:22 PM
Today I am the pillow for a 115 pound staffie named MACHETIE.
Reposted by Ashlie Weeks, Esq.
At last, a crisis I can wrap my head around.
I am out of ketchup.
This is a total disaster.
This is a total disaster.
January 3, 2026 at 2:07 PM
At last, a crisis I can wrap my head around.
I am out of ketchup.
This is a total disaster.
This is a total disaster.
January 2, 2026 at 9:19 PM
I am out of ketchup.
This is a total disaster.
This is a total disaster.
I mistook the fireworks and dance specials on NYE in several major cities for Erika Kirk widowing.
January 1, 2026 at 11:05 PM
I mistook the fireworks and dance specials on NYE in several major cities for Erika Kirk widowing.
Stress levels are extremely high for tiny dog.
December 31, 2025 at 9:34 PM
Stress levels are extremely high for tiny dog.
I have some equally breaking news: the sun is hot.
December 29, 2025 at 4:25 PM
I have some equally breaking news: the sun is hot.
It looks like Epstein is occasionally showing up in the Trump files.
December 27, 2025 at 4:40 PM
It looks like Epstein is occasionally showing up in the Trump files.
The DOD's budget is almost 1 trillion dollars. Surely at least a quarter of that goes toward Hegsangria's bar tab.
December 26, 2025 at 10:58 PM
The DOD's budget is almost 1 trillion dollars. Surely at least a quarter of that goes toward Hegsangria's bar tab.
I'm probably not going to get 2 elephants again for Christmas this year.
Everything sucks.
Everything sucks.
December 24, 2025 at 10:18 PM
I'm probably not going to get 2 elephants again for Christmas this year.
Everything sucks.
Everything sucks.
I want to wish our brother, the sandwich thrower, the most joyous of holidays and blessings galore for 2026.
December 24, 2025 at 4:05 PM
I want to wish our brother, the sandwich thrower, the most joyous of holidays and blessings galore for 2026.
Prejudices are what fools use for reason.
-Voltaire
-Voltaire
December 23, 2025 at 11:27 PM
Prejudices are what fools use for reason.
-Voltaire
-Voltaire
I'd rather be pelted with wrenches from head to toe while being doused with lye and being forced to eat paint chips while standing on hot coals while a team of juvenile delinquents blast me with water bazookas filled with sulfuric acid.
December 23, 2025 at 10:36 PM
I'd rather be pelted with wrenches from head to toe while being doused with lye and being forced to eat paint chips while standing on hot coals while a team of juvenile delinquents blast me with water bazookas filled with sulfuric acid.
So we have to go back and forth to Canada to watch tv to get truthful news about all the criminals in charge of our country
December 23, 2025 at 7:23 PM
So we have to go back and forth to Canada to watch tv to get truthful news about all the criminals in charge of our country
I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season except all the obvious a**holes.
December 23, 2025 at 4:38 PM
I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season except all the obvious a**holes.
To everyone who confirmed Pam Bondi:
I want to congratulate you on your limitless ignorance & sycophancy not to mention your stunning display of individual & group stupidity.
This will go down as one of the dumbest confirmations in history next to Hegsangria.
I want to congratulate you on your limitless ignorance & sycophancy not to mention your stunning display of individual & group stupidity.
This will go down as one of the dumbest confirmations in history next to Hegsangria.
December 22, 2025 at 10:25 PM
To everyone who confirmed Pam Bondi:
I want to congratulate you on your limitless ignorance & sycophancy not to mention your stunning display of individual & group stupidity.
This will go down as one of the dumbest confirmations in history next to Hegsangria.
I want to congratulate you on your limitless ignorance & sycophancy not to mention your stunning display of individual & group stupidity.
This will go down as one of the dumbest confirmations in history next to Hegsangria.
I don't like to brag and be all look at me but I can point out a giraffe AND a whole battleship.
December 22, 2025 at 6:22 PM
I don't like to brag and be all look at me but I can point out a giraffe AND a whole battleship.
Reposted by Ashlie Weeks, Esq.
Try embroidering after you make me some butta!
December 22, 2025 at 5:01 PM
Try embroidering after you make me some butta!
My bff pays for my Netflix bc I'm a cheap ass & don't pay for apps & she switched phone carriers/her Netflix is on that plan. My Netflix went out @ a critical moment & I'm like when is this getting fixed. I'm living in Medieval times here really. I guess I'll go outside & churn some butter.
plan.my
December 22, 2025 at 4:59 PM
My bff pays for my Netflix bc I'm a cheap ass & don't pay for apps & she switched phone carriers/her Netflix is on that plan. My Netflix went out @ a critical moment & I'm like when is this getting fixed. I'm living in Medieval times here really. I guess I'll go outside & churn some butter.
