Balsam B'Grant Heat
@balsam.bsky.social
Out of order outhouse
By the time the 2028 primaries come around every one of those bastard Senators will be able to say to their voters "I secured $200 million dollars for our toilet manufacturers. Did you know our state produces more toilets than any other state in the union?" And when some leftist brings up the
November 10, 2025 at 10:14 PM
By the time the 2028 primaries come around every one of those bastard Senators will be able to say to their voters "I secured $200 million dollars for our toilet manufacturers. Did you know our state produces more toilets than any other state in the union?" And when some leftist brings up the
Democrats and Republicans are on the same team and you will never see the Epstein files
November 10, 2025 at 6:19 PM
Democrats and Republicans are on the same team and you will never see the Epstein files
ECO-FRIENDL & DUNCTABIITY ECCYCLED DESIGN. MATERIALS. BUILT TO LAST
November 9, 2025 at 7:03 PM
ECO-FRIENDL & DUNCTABIITY ECCYCLED DESIGN. MATERIALS. BUILT TO LAST
I think SNAP benefits should automatically double for Nov and Dec. Let people enjoy the holidays, stock up for the new year, etc
November 9, 2025 at 6:12 PM
I think SNAP benefits should automatically double for Nov and Dec. Let people enjoy the holidays, stock up for the new year, etc
Oh really, Joyce Carol Oates? Does this look like a joyless dullard to you?
November 9, 2025 at 5:30 PM
Oh really, Joyce Carol Oates? Does this look like a joyless dullard to you?
Guy that only gets migraines having a heart attack: ahh it feels like I'm having a heart migraine
November 9, 2025 at 3:39 AM
Guy that only gets migraines having a heart attack: ahh it feels like I'm having a heart migraine
There should be a legal mechanism for challenging the president to a duel
November 8, 2025 at 4:27 AM
There should be a legal mechanism for challenging the president to a duel
We need to put everyone that works at OpenAI into a ClosedJAIL
November 7, 2025 at 10:06 PM
We need to put everyone that works at OpenAI into a ClosedJAIL
FOOD FIGHTS DECLARED LEGAL
November 6, 2025 at 8:28 PM
FOOD FIGHTS DECLARED LEGAL
Boy I sure hope that when I'm watching beautiful and talented Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz in The Mummy 4 that I no longer have to see "the mummy" Chuck Schumer in elected office. Resign!
November 5, 2025 at 6:23 PM
Boy I sure hope that when I'm watching beautiful and talented Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz in The Mummy 4 that I no longer have to see "the mummy" Chuck Schumer in elected office. Resign!
The Democrats should kick Andrew Cuomo out of the party for his racist and Islamophobic campaign and for using AI to make disgusting attack ads. Let us know where you stand on this stuff
November 5, 2025 at 3:39 PM
The Democrats should kick Andrew Cuomo out of the party for his racist and Islamophobic campaign and for using AI to make disgusting attack ads. Let us know where you stand on this stuff
Oh my God Zohran just executed Bill Ackerman in Times Square and now they're wheeling out Elon Musk. This is happening much faster than promised
November 5, 2025 at 3:29 AM
Oh my God Zohran just executed Bill Ackerman in Times Square and now they're wheeling out Elon Musk. This is happening much faster than promised
Wow I hope Charlie Kirk saved Dick Cheney a good seat in hell
November 4, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Wow I hope Charlie Kirk saved Dick Cheney a good seat in hell
Rockstar should take a page from Wu-Tang and just sell one copy of GTA 6 for $20 billion
November 4, 2025 at 12:59 AM
Rockstar should take a page from Wu-Tang and just sell one copy of GTA 6 for $20 billion
The Scientists // The Science
November 3, 2025 at 2:58 AM
The Scientists // The Science
What kinda freaky doctor came up with 'we can treat you by putting someone else's poop in your butt' but it works, by God it works
November 2, 2025 at 3:01 PM
What kinda freaky doctor came up with 'we can treat you by putting someone else's poop in your butt' but it works, by God it works
I saw a Hamilton ad on the side of a bus yesterday and thought how funny that you can still see Hamilton, the dogshit play about horsefuckers
November 2, 2025 at 2:50 PM
I saw a Hamilton ad on the side of a bus yesterday and thought how funny that you can still see Hamilton, the dogshit play about horsefuckers
Another migraine #twowordhorrorstory
October 31, 2025 at 4:53 PM
Another migraine #twowordhorrorstory
Given that it's "attorneys general" is it "loose leaf papers" or "loose leaves paper"?
October 31, 2025 at 1:45 AM
Given that it's "attorneys general" is it "loose leaf papers" or "loose leaves paper"?
Restarting nuclear weapons tests would suck but maybe we can get some nice 8k footage of one of these bad boys going off
October 30, 2025 at 6:10 PM
Restarting nuclear weapons tests would suck but maybe we can get some nice 8k footage of one of these bad boys going off
Change one letter, ruin a candy
Twig
Twig
Change one letter, ruin a candy
Death bar
Death bar
Change one letter, ruin a candy
Milky Wax
Milky Wax
October 29, 2025 at 10:53 PM
Change one letter, ruin a candy
Twig
Twig
From: Brain
To: You, idiot
Subject: Migraine
Body:
PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN HELL HELL PAIN HELL HELL PAIN PAIN PAIN HELL HELL PAIN HELL PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN HELL PAIN HELL HAHAHA
To: You, idiot
Subject: Migraine
Body:
PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN HELL HELL PAIN HELL HELL PAIN PAIN PAIN HELL HELL PAIN HELL PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN HELL PAIN HELL HAHAHA
October 29, 2025 at 7:46 PM
From: Brain
To: You, idiot
Subject: Migraine
Body:
PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN HELL HELL PAIN HELL HELL PAIN PAIN PAIN HELL HELL PAIN HELL PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN HELL PAIN HELL HAHAHA
To: You, idiot
Subject: Migraine
Body:
PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN HELL HELL PAIN HELL HELL PAIN PAIN PAIN HELL HELL PAIN HELL PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN HELL PAIN HELL HAHAHA
This migraine could have been an email
October 29, 2025 at 7:44 PM
This migraine could have been an email