As a married man, I have two missions in life.

To calm my wife down when she's mad and to make her mad when she's calm.

Baxter gets so excited for mealtime with The Farmer's Dog that he does this little dance. Get 60% off your first order through the link below! 🧡 #ad

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I said to my wife, “For the last 12 years, all you've done is find mistakes in anything I say to you."

She answered, "13 years."

I just applied for life insurance, and they asked me, “Sir, do you participate in any dangerous activities?"

I replied, "Yes, sometimes I disagree with my wife!"

This is Kona. He is doing his daily affirmations. 12/10 powerful stuff (IG: wildontherun)

My new car has a button for everything.

There is even one that says, "rear wiper". I'm still afraid to try that one.

My dog and I have a lot in common: we both like sleeping, eating, and pretending we don't hear anything.

Don’t tell the vet
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#goldenretriever #goldenretrieverpuppy #goldenretrievers #goldenretrieverlove #goldenretrieverlovers