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Dad Jokes

@dadsaysjokes.com

12K followers 1 following 1.7K posts

Your go-to page for daily dad jokes 👨🤣

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Dad Jokes @dadsaysjokes.com · Aug 20

Shout out to everyone who can remember every word to some random 80s song but can't remember the password they created yesterday

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Dad Jokes @dadsaysjokes.com · 7h

13-year-old me: Don't tell me what to do!

Me now: Can someone please tell me, step by step, in full detail, exactly what I'm supposed to do?

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Dad Jokes @dadsaysjokes.com · 7h

When your wife decides to start a DIY project and 6 now you're an employee for a job you didn't apply for you don't get paid, and you can never quit...

Dad Jokes @dadsaysjokes.com · 7h

The man who invented throat lozenges died last week...

There was no coffin at the funeral.

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Dad Jokes @dadsaysjokes.com · 12h

Did you know, if you garden naked your neighbors will build a privacy fence at no cost to you.

Follow me for more tips!

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Dad Jokes @dadsaysjokes.com · 15h

The only trustworthy person to keep a secret is your husband: he can't repeat it, since he didn't listen in the first place.

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Dad Jokes @dadsaysjokes.com · 1d

Respect people who wear glasses.

They paid money to see you.

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Dad Jokes @dadsaysjokes.com · 1d

There's nothing worse than having a
Cranberries song stuck in your heeeeeeead, in your heeeeeeead, in your head, in your head, in your head in your hea, hea, hea, head...

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Dad Jokes @dadsaysjokes.com · 1d

What's the worst thing about ancient history class?

The teachers tend to Babylon.

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Dad Jokes @dadsaysjokes.com · 1d

You think you know stress?

When I grew up, if you missed a TV show you just missed it.

Forever.

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Dad Jokes @dadsaysjokes.com · 1d

I've been trying to break up with an Optician recently…...it's really hard!

Every time I tell her I can't see her anymore she moves an inch closer and says: "How about now?"

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Dad Jokes @dadsaysjokes.com · 1d

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Dad Jokes @dadsaysjokes.com · 1d

I don't know why men go to bars to meet women..

Go to Target. The female to male ratio is 10 to 1 and they're already looking for things they don't need.

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Dad Jokes @dadsaysjokes.com · 2d

l've often heard that “icy" is the easiest word to spell.

Looking at it now, I see why.

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Dad Jokes @dadsaysjokes.com · 2d

I've changed my Facebook username to NOBODY...

So now when people post crap, I can press the 'like' button and it'll say NOBODY likes this.

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