Bart King
@bartking.bsky.social
• New books, Spring 2026: “Father Humor” (the history of an art form, with jokes!) and an upcoming “Choose Your Own Adventure” 🐢🐢🐢🐢
• “Arguably one of Oregon’s top 73 Barts.” –Barts Weekly 🧃
https://bartking.net 🐸
• “Arguably one of Oregon’s top 73 Barts.” –Barts Weekly 🧃
https://bartking.net 🐸
Pinned
ME: Give us this day our daily bread.
BAKER: A “please” would be nice.
BAKER: A “please” would be nice.
“Mom, i ate my drumstick, piece of broccoli, and tortilla, but i’m still hungry.”
“Oh baby, fill up on your one other thing.”
“Oh baby, fill up on your one other thing.”
Brooke Rollins: "We've run over 1,000 simulations. It can cost around $3 a meal for a piece of chicken, a piece of broccoli, corn tortilla, and one other thing. So there is a way to do this that actually will save the average American consumer money."
January 15, 2026 at 1:49 AM
“Mom, i ate my drumstick, piece of broccoli, and tortilla, but i’m still hungry.”
“Oh baby, fill up on your one other thing.”
“Oh baby, fill up on your one other thing.”
Octavia E. Butler’s “Parable of the Sower” has a funny passage about a very exclusive Pacific Northwest.
January 15, 2026 at 12:41 AM
Octavia E. Butler’s “Parable of the Sower” has a funny passage about a very exclusive Pacific Northwest.
Judson Memorial Baptist Church (Minneapolis):
January 14, 2026 at 8:16 PM
Judson Memorial Baptist Church (Minneapolis):
DRIVER: Howdy, partner! Guess how many gallons I want?
ATTENDANT (wearily): Ten.
ATTENDANT (wearily): Ten.
January 14, 2026 at 4:03 PM
DRIVER: Howdy, partner! Guess how many gallons I want?
ATTENDANT (wearily): Ten.
ATTENDANT (wearily): Ten.
This sounds obvious, but if you'd like to directly message the current administration, this is the White House's "Contact Us" site.
www.whitehouse.gov/contact/
www.whitehouse.gov/contact/
Contact Us
Share your thoughts with President Donald J. Trump and Vice President JD Vance.
www.whitehouse.gov
January 14, 2026 at 2:38 PM
This sounds obvious, but if you'd like to directly message the current administration, this is the White House's "Contact Us" site.
www.whitehouse.gov/contact/
www.whitehouse.gov/contact/
I know everything is terrible, but here are six proposed new emojis, and the prospect of being able to use a meteor, pickle, or monarch butterfly may lift your spirits.
January 14, 2026 at 1:35 PM
I know everything is terrible, but here are six proposed new emojis, and the prospect of being able to use a meteor, pickle, or monarch butterfly may lift your spirits.
Norman Rockwell‘s “Four Freedoms” (1943) are prominently posted in Silverton Oregon. And for the past year, it’s been hard not to pass “Freedom from Fear” without wincing.
January 13, 2026 at 9:48 PM
Norman Rockwell‘s “Four Freedoms” (1943) are prominently posted in Silverton Oregon. And for the past year, it’s been hard not to pass “Freedom from Fear” without wincing.
AI's message: "This looks like a lot of words. Save time by disconnecting your cerebellum."
January 13, 2026 at 7:58 PM
AI's message: "This looks like a lot of words. Save time by disconnecting your cerebellum."
Just a reminder that we'll never be as cool as Robert DeNiro was in "Heat."
January 13, 2026 at 3:40 PM
Just a reminder that we'll never be as cool as Robert DeNiro was in "Heat."
Among its many,
*many* other crimes, this White House administration is legally and criminally perfidious.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perfidy
*many* other crimes, this White House administration is legally and criminally perfidious.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perfidy
Perfidy - Wikipedia
en.wikipedia.org
January 13, 2026 at 1:36 PM
Among its many,
*many* other crimes, this White House administration is legally and criminally perfidious.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perfidy
*many* other crimes, this White House administration is legally and criminally perfidious.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perfidy
Rats, the algorithm’s figured me out.
January 13, 2026 at 12:53 AM
Rats, the algorithm’s figured me out.
On chilly wintry mornings, I get cozy in my
January 12, 2026 at 4:43 PM
On chilly wintry mornings, I get cozy in my
My niece has the Gaul to claim that her French is better than mine.
January 12, 2026 at 1:53 AM
My niece has the Gaul to claim that her French is better than mine.
Oh wild, “Gigli” is not only the name of the best movie ever, it’s also a pasta!
January 12, 2026 at 12:17 AM
Oh wild, “Gigli” is not only the name of the best movie ever, it’s also a pasta!
Trump officials frowning in incomprehension by this quote from Delcy Rodríguez:
“Joe *Manchin*?”
“Joe *Manchin*?”
January 11, 2026 at 8:17 PM
Trump officials frowning in incomprehension by this quote from Delcy Rodríguez:
“Joe *Manchin*?”
“Joe *Manchin*?”
WIFE: Are you getting up?
ME: “Tonic immobility” is a state of temporary paralysis in response to trauma. It is a common evolutionary response used by animals who play dead when attacked.
ME: “Tonic immobility” is a state of temporary paralysis in response to trauma. It is a common evolutionary response used by animals who play dead when attacked.
January 11, 2026 at 3:00 PM
WIFE: Are you getting up?
ME: “Tonic immobility” is a state of temporary paralysis in response to trauma. It is a common evolutionary response used by animals who play dead when attacked.
ME: “Tonic immobility” is a state of temporary paralysis in response to trauma. It is a common evolutionary response used by animals who play dead when attacked.
Civics in action! Good work, Oregon. 👏🏼
oregoncapitalchronicle.com/2026/01/10/h...
oregoncapitalchronicle.com/2026/01/10/h...
Hundreds of Oregonians in Portland, Salem protest ICE, military action in Venezuela • Oregon Capital Chronicle
Groups quickly organized Saturday protests following federal officers killing a woman in Minneapolis, shooting two immigrants in Portland.
oregoncapitalchronicle.com
January 11, 2026 at 2:56 AM
Civics in action! Good work, Oregon. 👏🏼
oregoncapitalchronicle.com/2026/01/10/h...
oregoncapitalchronicle.com/2026/01/10/h...
Reposted by Bart King
They want us to stop using the words fascism and Nazism and racism because there is a reason those words exist and they are the reason
January 11, 2026 at 1:08 AM
They want us to stop using the words fascism and Nazism and racism because there is a reason those words exist and they are the reason
WIFE: Why is there a garbage bag in the refrigerator?
ME: I wanted to store the pumpkin muffins, but couldn't find the lid to the big tupperware—
WIFE: So you wrapped it in a garbage bag.
ME: Yes.
(In other news, I'm eating a pumpkin muffin.)
ME: I wanted to store the pumpkin muffins, but couldn't find the lid to the big tupperware—
WIFE: So you wrapped it in a garbage bag.
ME: Yes.
(In other news, I'm eating a pumpkin muffin.)
January 10, 2026 at 7:52 PM
WIFE: Why is there a garbage bag in the refrigerator?
ME: I wanted to store the pumpkin muffins, but couldn't find the lid to the big tupperware—
WIFE: So you wrapped it in a garbage bag.
ME: Yes.
(In other news, I'm eating a pumpkin muffin.)
ME: I wanted to store the pumpkin muffins, but couldn't find the lid to the big tupperware—
WIFE: So you wrapped it in a garbage bag.
ME: Yes.
(In other news, I'm eating a pumpkin muffin.)
The current White House occupant wants to be commemorated on a coin — and that’s fine, as long as said coins are stamped like the ones made for Thomas Paine’s 1792 trial (which featured Paine swinging from the gallows).
January 10, 2026 at 5:18 PM
The current White House occupant wants to be commemorated on a coin — and that’s fine, as long as said coins are stamped like the ones made for Thomas Paine’s 1792 trial (which featured Paine swinging from the gallows).
It’s a great day to forgo eating mammals and to start drinking oat milk.
www.nytimes.com/2026/01/09/w...
www.nytimes.com/2026/01/09/w...
Several of Kennedy’s Dietary Advisers Have Ties to Meat and Dairy Interests
www.nytimes.com
January 10, 2026 at 3:15 PM
It’s a great day to forgo eating mammals and to start drinking oat milk.
www.nytimes.com/2026/01/09/w...
www.nytimes.com/2026/01/09/w...
ATLAS: This round’s on me.
January 9, 2026 at 9:24 PM
ATLAS: This round’s on me.
FLIP WILSON: I'm about to pray. Anyone need anything?
January 9, 2026 at 6:24 PM
FLIP WILSON: I'm about to pray. Anyone need anything?
You're not going to believe this, but in 1998, Sound Bites Lollipops piped music into a person's head via bone conduction technology. (Or "sound," if you will.) 🍭
www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3ca...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3ca...
Sound Bites Lollipops (1998)
Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube.
s2.washingtonpost.com
January 9, 2026 at 5:54 PM
You're not going to believe this, but in 1998, Sound Bites Lollipops piped music into a person's head via bone conduction technology. (Or "sound," if you will.) 🍭
www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3ca...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3ca...
<Soundgarden voice>
“PINTMAN”
“PINTMAN”
January 9, 2026 at 3:43 AM
<Soundgarden voice>
“PINTMAN”
“PINTMAN”