Bart King
@bartking.bsky.social
• New books, Spring 2026: “Father Humor” (the history of an art form, with jokes!) and an upcoming “Choose Your Own Adventure” 🐢🐢🐢🐢
• “Arguably one of Oregon’s top 73 Barts.” –Barts Weekly 🧃
https://bartking.net 🐸
• “Arguably one of Oregon’s top 73 Barts.” –Barts Weekly 🧃
https://bartking.net 🐸
Just me, having my morning coffee.
January 18, 2026 at 4:15 PM
Just me, having my morning coffee.
In 1964, Cameron Crowe’s mother took kids to see Bob Dylan, and after the concert, she issued a prescient warning.
January 18, 2026 at 12:54 PM
In 1964, Cameron Crowe’s mother took kids to see Bob Dylan, and after the concert, she issued a prescient warning.
Beyond the primordial vapors rising from Portland’s “extinct” volcano lies the grim realm of Montavilla. Its people are ruled by a despot who consists of layers of wood veneer that are stacked and glued together with the direction of the grain alternating, and whose name is sometimes whispered as…
January 17, 2026 at 4:02 PM
Beyond the primordial vapors rising from Portland’s “extinct” volcano lies the grim realm of Montavilla. Its people are ruled by a despot who consists of layers of wood veneer that are stacked and glued together with the direction of the grain alternating, and whose name is sometimes whispered as…
Life comes at you fast (double-Dutch remix)
January 17, 2026 at 1:33 AM
Life comes at you fast (double-Dutch remix)
Martin Bissig took this shot of someone apparently skateboarding on an M.C. Escher building. www.worldsportsphotographyawards.com
January 16, 2026 at 11:22 PM
Martin Bissig took this shot of someone apparently skateboarding on an M.C. Escher building. www.worldsportsphotographyawards.com
Vital journalism here on the innocent men who are traumatized by hair loss. Is “baldmaxxing” a step to their healing? (Gosh, i hope not!) www.usatoday.com/story/life/h...
January 16, 2026 at 1:22 PM
Vital journalism here on the innocent men who are traumatized by hair loss. Is “baldmaxxing” a step to their healing? (Gosh, i hope not!) www.usatoday.com/story/life/h...
Yesterday, the odds of endless torture at the hands of the Death-Shrike were 50-50. But now, an eternity of screaming might be slightly less likely, so it is our obligation to invest heavily in Death-Shrike, Inc.
January 16, 2026 at 5:21 AM
Yesterday, the odds of endless torture at the hands of the Death-Shrike were 50-50. But now, an eternity of screaming might be slightly less likely, so it is our obligation to invest heavily in Death-Shrike, Inc.
~Shampoo marketing meeting, 1976~
“C’mon guys, we need an out-of-the-box idea! So let’s brainstorm weirdly long olfactory names.”
“‘In sooth, thou tresses are scented like a bower’?”
“Nah, too archaic.”
“‘Pardon, but do you detect an odor’?”
“Nope, possibly insulting … wait, I’ve got it!”
“C’mon guys, we need an out-of-the-box idea! So let’s brainstorm weirdly long olfactory names.”
“‘In sooth, thou tresses are scented like a bower’?”
“Nah, too archaic.”
“‘Pardon, but do you detect an odor’?”
“Nope, possibly insulting … wait, I’ve got it!”
January 16, 2026 at 12:19 AM
~Shampoo marketing meeting, 1976~
“C’mon guys, we need an out-of-the-box idea! So let’s brainstorm weirdly long olfactory names.”
“‘In sooth, thou tresses are scented like a bower’?”
“Nah, too archaic.”
“‘Pardon, but do you detect an odor’?”
“Nope, possibly insulting … wait, I’ve got it!”
“C’mon guys, we need an out-of-the-box idea! So let’s brainstorm weirdly long olfactory names.”
“‘In sooth, thou tresses are scented like a bower’?”
“Nah, too archaic.”
“‘Pardon, but do you detect an odor’?”
“Nope, possibly insulting … wait, I’ve got it!”
When her daughter requested a duct-tape themed birthday party, Sophie adhered to her best parenting practices.
January 15, 2026 at 8:29 PM
When her daughter requested a duct-tape themed birthday party, Sophie adhered to her best parenting practices.
Not sure how I've made it this far without knowing that a baby pterosaur is called a "flapling."
January 15, 2026 at 3:41 PM
Not sure how I've made it this far without knowing that a baby pterosaur is called a "flapling."
Octavia E. Butler’s “Parable of the Sower” has a funny passage about a very exclusive Pacific Northwest.
January 15, 2026 at 12:41 AM
Octavia E. Butler’s “Parable of the Sower” has a funny passage about a very exclusive Pacific Northwest.
Judson Memorial Baptist Church (Minneapolis):
January 14, 2026 at 8:16 PM
Judson Memorial Baptist Church (Minneapolis):
DRIVER: Howdy, partner! Guess how many gallons I want?
ATTENDANT (wearily): Ten.
ATTENDANT (wearily): Ten.
January 14, 2026 at 4:03 PM
DRIVER: Howdy, partner! Guess how many gallons I want?
ATTENDANT (wearily): Ten.
ATTENDANT (wearily): Ten.
I know everything is terrible, but here are six proposed new emojis, and the prospect of being able to use a meteor, pickle, or monarch butterfly may lift your spirits.
January 14, 2026 at 1:35 PM
I know everything is terrible, but here are six proposed new emojis, and the prospect of being able to use a meteor, pickle, or monarch butterfly may lift your spirits.
Norman Rockwell‘s “Four Freedoms” (1943) are prominently posted in Silverton Oregon. And for the past year, it’s been hard not to pass “Freedom from Fear” without wincing.
January 13, 2026 at 9:48 PM
Norman Rockwell‘s “Four Freedoms” (1943) are prominently posted in Silverton Oregon. And for the past year, it’s been hard not to pass “Freedom from Fear” without wincing.
AI's message: "This looks like a lot of words. Save time by disconnecting your cerebellum."
January 13, 2026 at 7:58 PM
AI's message: "This looks like a lot of words. Save time by disconnecting your cerebellum."
Just a reminder that we'll never be as cool as Robert DeNiro was in "Heat."
January 13, 2026 at 3:40 PM
Just a reminder that we'll never be as cool as Robert DeNiro was in "Heat."
Rats, the algorithm’s figured me out.
January 13, 2026 at 12:53 AM
Rats, the algorithm’s figured me out.
On chilly wintry mornings, I get cozy in my
January 12, 2026 at 4:43 PM
On chilly wintry mornings, I get cozy in my
Oh wild, “Gigli” is not only the name of the best movie ever, it’s also a pasta!
January 12, 2026 at 12:17 AM
Oh wild, “Gigli” is not only the name of the best movie ever, it’s also a pasta!
Trump officials frowning in incomprehension by this quote from Delcy Rodríguez:
“Joe *Manchin*?”
“Joe *Manchin*?”
January 11, 2026 at 8:17 PM
Trump officials frowning in incomprehension by this quote from Delcy Rodríguez:
“Joe *Manchin*?”
“Joe *Manchin*?”
The current White House occupant wants to be commemorated on a coin — and that’s fine, as long as said coins are stamped like the ones made for Thomas Paine’s 1792 trial (which featured Paine swinging from the gallows).
January 10, 2026 at 5:18 PM
The current White House occupant wants to be commemorated on a coin — and that’s fine, as long as said coins are stamped like the ones made for Thomas Paine’s 1792 trial (which featured Paine swinging from the gallows).
ATLAS: This round’s on me.
January 9, 2026 at 9:24 PM
ATLAS: This round’s on me.
<Soundgarden voice>
“PINTMAN”
“PINTMAN”
January 9, 2026 at 3:43 AM
<Soundgarden voice>
“PINTMAN”
“PINTMAN”
I was screaming inside my heart before it was cool.
January 9, 2026 at 2:28 AM
I was screaming inside my heart before it was cool.