Bilal Dardai
@bilald.bsky.social
Scriptwriter and soccer dad, a man shouting “theater” in a crowded fire. Uncomfortably easy to Google.
Pinned
Bilal Dardai
@bilald.bsky.social
· Nov 19
Bilal Dardai Artist Portfolio
Audio Projects (2018 - ongoing)
bilal-dardai-theatre.weebly.com
Sharing a little bit more about who I am in this Pinned Post:
(1) I'm a Chicago-area based scriptwriter and performer for the live stage and audio fiction mediums. My writing credits can be found here: bilal-dardai-theatre.weebly.com
(1) I'm a Chicago-area based scriptwriter and performer for the live stage and audio fiction mediums. My writing credits can be found here: bilal-dardai-theatre.weebly.com
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WALMART.
(This is real. I took the screenshots.)
(This is real. I took the screenshots.)
November 9, 2025 at 2:11 PM
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WALMART.
(This is real. I took the screenshots.)
(This is real. I took the screenshots.)
Remembering how one of the amusing conceits of the BUFFY television series was that Halloween was when all the soulless demons and vampires actually took the night off.
Noem rejects Pritzker request to pause ICE operations for Halloween
Pritzker's Halloween request, first obtained by the Chicago Sun-Times, came four days after ICE agents fired tear gas in the Old Irving Park neighborhood as families and children walked to a Halloween...
chicago.suntimes.com
October 31, 2025 at 9:38 PM
Remembering how one of the amusing conceits of the BUFFY television series was that Halloween was when all the soulless demons and vampires actually took the night off.
So if the policy is supposedly that we’re catching all the child rapists and sending them to countries they were never from, at what point do we start deporting these evangelical leaders, like former Trump advisor Robert Morris, to the Darien Gap?
October 31, 2025 at 3:17 AM
So if the policy is supposedly that we’re catching all the child rapists and sending them to countries they were never from, at what point do we start deporting these evangelical leaders, like former Trump advisor Robert Morris, to the Darien Gap?
A reporter will ask a conservative politician why they were caught holding a bloody knife near a murder scene and they will say “nah-ah, that’s a gotcha question.”
And then they turn around and yell ZOHRAN MAMDANI’S AUNT IS NOT HIS PARENT’S SISTER!
And then they turn around and yell ZOHRAN MAMDANI’S AUNT IS NOT HIS PARENT’S SISTER!
October 29, 2025 at 9:24 PM
A reporter will ask a conservative politician why they were caught holding a bloody knife near a murder scene and they will say “nah-ah, that’s a gotcha question.”
And then they turn around and yell ZOHRAN MAMDANI’S AUNT IS NOT HIS PARENT’S SISTER!
And then they turn around and yell ZOHRAN MAMDANI’S AUNT IS NOT HIS PARENT’S SISTER!
Have felt oddly compelled of late to watch clips from HELL’S KITCHEN, a show I never watched once while it aired, and I think it’s because I’m finding it cathartic to watch Gordon Ramsay scream obscenities at people and hold them accountable when they’re so clearly fucking things up.
October 25, 2025 at 3:16 AM
Have felt oddly compelled of late to watch clips from HELL’S KITCHEN, a show I never watched once while it aired, and I think it’s because I’m finding it cathartic to watch Gordon Ramsay scream obscenities at people and hold them accountable when they’re so clearly fucking things up.
Being a guy who is interested in both modern cinema and presidential history means that I have an odd, unexplainable feeling about the concurrent careers of two actresses named Mikey Madison and Maika Monroe.
October 22, 2025 at 3:41 PM
Being a guy who is interested in both modern cinema and presidential history means that I have an odd, unexplainable feeling about the concurrent careers of two actresses named Mikey Madison and Maika Monroe.
We need to convince Trump that he doesn’t want to be king or dictator, but pharaoh.
Then, when he dies, all of his servants should be entombed with him.
Then, when he dies, all of his servants should be entombed with him.
October 21, 2025 at 1:01 PM
We need to convince Trump that he doesn’t want to be king or dictator, but pharaoh.
Then, when he dies, all of his servants should be entombed with him.
Then, when he dies, all of his servants should be entombed with him.
"You thought that patriotic video of our heroic President Trump was of him showering Americans with feces? That was the finest of chocolate mousse, served with benevolence and his unerring gourmet taste. Of course you woke communists don't know the difference."
Hey, I can be Press Secretary too!
Hey, I can be Press Secretary too!
October 20, 2025 at 6:55 PM
"You thought that patriotic video of our heroic President Trump was of him showering Americans with feces? That was the finest of chocolate mousse, served with benevolence and his unerring gourmet taste. Of course you woke communists don't know the difference."
Hey, I can be Press Secretary too!
Hey, I can be Press Secretary too!
Every time Karoline Leavitt goes to a restaurant, she should be brought something she didn’t order.
When she complains, she should be told “oh, we assumed you were lying,” before turning briskly and walking away.
When she complains, she should be told “oh, we assumed you were lying,” before turning briskly and walking away.
October 17, 2025 at 1:58 PM
Every time Karoline Leavitt goes to a restaurant, she should be brought something she didn’t order.
When she complains, she should be told “oh, we assumed you were lying,” before turning briskly and walking away.
When she complains, she should be told “oh, we assumed you were lying,” before turning briskly and walking away.
What has become evident is that if an American city ever actually were attacked by hordes of violent gangsters, ICE are not by any means prepared — tactically, mentally, or physically — to handle them.
If your city is invaded by schoolchildren, journalists, and clergy, though? LOOK OUT.
If your city is invaded by schoolchildren, journalists, and clergy, though? LOOK OUT.
October 12, 2025 at 1:51 PM
What has become evident is that if an American city ever actually were attacked by hordes of violent gangsters, ICE are not by any means prepared — tactically, mentally, or physically — to handle them.
If your city is invaded by schoolchildren, journalists, and clergy, though? LOOK OUT.
If your city is invaded by schoolchildren, journalists, and clergy, though? LOOK OUT.
It’s impossible not to see the Nobel Committee’s selection of a pro-democracy, Venezuelan woman for the Peace Prize as a direct “Fuck Off, Donald.”
Good.
Good.
October 10, 2025 at 1:19 PM
It’s impossible not to see the Nobel Committee’s selection of a pro-democracy, Venezuelan woman for the Peace Prize as a direct “Fuck Off, Donald.”
Good.
Good.
What’s the over-under on how many weeks it takes before Trump learns penicillin began as mold, claims “nobody knew this before,” and starts to insist that it be banned for medical use?
September 28, 2025 at 4:41 PM
What’s the over-under on how many weeks it takes before Trump learns penicillin began as mold, claims “nobody knew this before,” and starts to insist that it be banned for medical use?
The Chicago River just got clean enough for swimmers to use it and now they’re polluting it with the filth.
A government communication reviewed by the Sun-Times showed that a request was made to have several Border Patrol and ICE boats and vehicles use the Chicago Harbor Lock as part of Operation Midway Blitz.
trib.al/BlzJrzv
trib.al/BlzJrzv
Border patrol spotted with guns on Chicago River in Trump's latest deportation push
A government communication reviewed by the Sun-Times showed that a request was made to have several Border Patrol and ICE boats and vehicles use the Chicago Harbor Lock as part of Operation Midway Blitz.
trib.al
September 26, 2025 at 10:48 AM
The Chicago River just got clean enough for swimmers to use it and now they’re polluting it with the filth.
Saying you feel “vulnerable” on a stopped escalator in one of the most heavily guarded buildings in New York only makes it seem even less likely that you felt in danger the day you were almost assassinated.
Not saying. Just saying.
Not saying. Just saying.
September 25, 2025 at 11:50 PM
Saying you feel “vulnerable” on a stopped escalator in one of the most heavily guarded buildings in New York only makes it seem even less likely that you felt in danger the day you were almost assassinated.
Not saying. Just saying.
Not saying. Just saying.
GOP: “Stop calling us Nazis!”
ALSO GOP: “Exterminate the homeless, lock up the transgendered, send undesirables to concentration camps, and criminalize dissent! All of which will be enforced by our secret police!”
ALSO GOP: “Exterminate the homeless, lock up the transgendered, send undesirables to concentration camps, and criminalize dissent! All of which will be enforced by our secret police!”
September 19, 2025 at 6:14 PM
GOP: “Stop calling us Nazis!”
ALSO GOP: “Exterminate the homeless, lock up the transgendered, send undesirables to concentration camps, and criminalize dissent! All of which will be enforced by our secret police!”
ALSO GOP: “Exterminate the homeless, lock up the transgendered, send undesirables to concentration camps, and criminalize dissent! All of which will be enforced by our secret police!”
"Charlie Kirk was a peaceful Christian man who believed we should have spirited debate with our political opponents. To honor him, I require that we commit widespread bloody violence against the evil, inhuman leftists."
September 12, 2025 at 2:50 PM
"Charlie Kirk was a peaceful Christian man who believed we should have spirited debate with our political opponents. To honor him, I require that we commit widespread bloody violence against the evil, inhuman leftists."
What I believe:
It’s possible to manifest hate in your heart and still be a good person.
It’s not possible to *hold* hate in your heart and remain a good person.
And regardless, the hate itself will never make you a good person.
It’s possible to manifest hate in your heart and still be a good person.
It’s not possible to *hold* hate in your heart and remain a good person.
And regardless, the hate itself will never make you a good person.
September 12, 2025 at 1:10 PM
What I believe:
It’s possible to manifest hate in your heart and still be a good person.
It’s not possible to *hold* hate in your heart and remain a good person.
And regardless, the hate itself will never make you a good person.
It’s possible to manifest hate in your heart and still be a good person.
It’s not possible to *hold* hate in your heart and remain a good person.
And regardless, the hate itself will never make you a good person.
"Nineteen Eighty-Four," by George Orwell.
September 4, 2025 at 1:43 PM
"Nineteen Eighty-Four," by George Orwell.
Our government now routinely does things that would make us root for Jason Statham to break every neck in the room.
September 4, 2025 at 12:51 AM
Our government now routinely does things that would make us root for Jason Statham to break every neck in the room.
American Media: “Far-right Media Figure Ruffles Feathers”
Australian Media:
Australian Media:
September 2, 2025 at 4:07 PM
American Media: “Far-right Media Figure Ruffles Feathers”
Australian Media:
Australian Media:
So for the sake of stylistic consistency we should go back to every relevant chyron and revise them to read “Heterosexual white man kills X, wounds Y.”
Right?
Or is that story just too “dog bites man” now?
Right?
Or is that story just too “dog bites man” now?
August 28, 2025 at 1:33 AM
So for the sake of stylistic consistency we should go back to every relevant chyron and revise them to read “Heterosexual white man kills X, wounds Y.”
Right?
Or is that story just too “dog bites man” now?
Right?
Or is that story just too “dog bites man” now?
Enjoyable editorial comment from THE ATHLETIC today on the recent decision to move the World Cup draw and the relationship between FIFA president Infantino and Trump.
August 26, 2025 at 12:26 AM
Enjoyable editorial comment from THE ATHLETIC today on the recent decision to move the World Cup draw and the relationship between FIFA president Infantino and Trump.
Dammit, LFC, giving up a two-goal lead and sending on an impact sub to win it at the death is NOT A SUSTAINABLE STRATEGY and also not great for my heart.
August 25, 2025 at 10:01 PM
Dammit, LFC, giving up a two-goal lead and sending on an impact sub to win it at the death is NOT A SUSTAINABLE STRATEGY and also not great for my heart.
To be clear: The Trump cabal plans to exile to Uganda a man who they previously renditioned to El Salvador's most brutal prison before he faced any charges in court...
...after transferring the president's known associate, a convicted sex trafficker, to a more comfortable prison.
...after transferring the president's known associate, a convicted sex trafficker, to a more comfortable prison.
August 24, 2025 at 8:09 PM
To be clear: The Trump cabal plans to exile to Uganda a man who they previously renditioned to El Salvador's most brutal prison before he faced any charges in court...
...after transferring the president's known associate, a convicted sex trafficker, to a more comfortable prison.
...after transferring the president's known associate, a convicted sex trafficker, to a more comfortable prison.
Against my better judgment I looked at the new Cracker Barrel logo and it instantly turned me into a trans athlete who thinks slavery was evil.
August 22, 2025 at 2:25 AM
Against my better judgment I looked at the new Cracker Barrel logo and it instantly turned me into a trans athlete who thinks slavery was evil.