Roast TurkBrie 🍗
@briesmith.xyz
The Internet's foremost Rory Gilmore hater. Still the Ray Kroc Professor of Cheeseburger Sciences, Hamburger University. Kentucky Colonel. She/her. #bbn
Shirts and more! https://www.teepublic.com/user/wondershout
Signal:@quietude38.04
Shirts and more! https://www.teepublic.com/user/wondershout
Signal:@quietude38.04
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Roast TurkBrie 🍗
@briesmith.xyz
· Sep 28
"I've Had Pizzas More Supreme Than This Court" T-shirt - $18.82 - wondershout
Buy this product for only $18.82
wondershout.printify.me
If you missed it yesterday (and you probably did,) I launched a new store to start moving away from Teepublic, and my first new product speaks directly to the moment:
wondershout.printify.me/product/2352...
wondershout.printify.me/product/2352...
“Battery”, Metallica, Master of Puppets
“Dance Yrself Clean”, LCD Soundsystem, This Is Happening
“Drive”, R.E.M., Automatic For The People
“We Die Young”, Alice In Chains, Facelift
“Everything Hits At Once”, Spoon, Girls Can Tell
“Dance Yrself Clean”, LCD Soundsystem, This Is Happening
“Drive”, R.E.M., Automatic For The People
“We Die Young”, Alice In Chains, Facelift
“Everything Hits At Once”, Spoon, Girls Can Tell
November 27, 2025 at 2:58 AM
“Battery”, Metallica, Master of Puppets
“Dance Yrself Clean”, LCD Soundsystem, This Is Happening
“Drive”, R.E.M., Automatic For The People
“We Die Young”, Alice In Chains, Facelift
“Everything Hits At Once”, Spoon, Girls Can Tell
“Dance Yrself Clean”, LCD Soundsystem, This Is Happening
“Drive”, R.E.M., Automatic For The People
“We Die Young”, Alice In Chains, Facelift
“Everything Hits At Once”, Spoon, Girls Can Tell
Link, reading Red Wings updates: “Puck in crowd, that doesn’t sound good!”
Me: “Yeah, there’s a staging of A Midsummer Night’s Dream in section 125.”
Me: “Yeah, there’s a staging of A Midsummer Night’s Dream in section 125.”
November 27, 2025 at 1:50 AM
Link, reading Red Wings updates: “Puck in crowd, that doesn’t sound good!”
Me: “Yeah, there’s a staging of A Midsummer Night’s Dream in section 125.”
Me: “Yeah, there’s a staging of A Midsummer Night’s Dream in section 125.”
An upcoming episode features a new Christmas song about Toronto written and performed by Steven Page!
best we've got right now is Murdoch Mysteries, a detective show set in late 1800's Toronto, where the lead characters regularly invent modern technology by accident. Detective Murdoch created the Roomba. Tatiana Maslany's brother plays a gay jewish cop. It's incredible.
November 26, 2025 at 10:25 PM
An upcoming episode features a new Christmas song about Toronto written and performed by Steven Page!
This is the worst two minutes of standup I have ever witnessed
who actually likes electricity? raise your hand. haha, i see a joker back there. but ask yourself: how many times do you turn on the light in morning, just for fun? what about the afternoon. never, right? and why are you staying up so late? our forefathers tucked themselves in at 6pm like god inten—
November 26, 2025 at 10:09 PM
This is the worst two minutes of standup I have ever witnessed
If you’re lucky enough to have a trans person at your table this week, some advice:
- Use their name! We picked our names because they’re what we wanted to be called, we love to hear them.
- Ask their pronouns and use them. I know you think defaulting to they/them is avoiding misgendering, but no.
- Use their name! We picked our names because they’re what we wanted to be called, we love to hear them.
- Ask their pronouns and use them. I know you think defaulting to they/them is avoiding misgendering, but no.
November 26, 2025 at 9:14 PM
If you’re lucky enough to have a trans person at your table this week, some advice:
- Use their name! We picked our names because they’re what we wanted to be called, we love to hear them.
- Ask their pronouns and use them. I know you think defaulting to they/them is avoiding misgendering, but no.
- Use their name! We picked our names because they’re what we wanted to be called, we love to hear them.
- Ask their pronouns and use them. I know you think defaulting to they/them is avoiding misgendering, but no.
What’s hilarious is that “video game t-shirt and cargo shorts” was my uniform for YEARS
If youre a self aware egg trying to get force femmed by a bunch of trans gals, this is the sluttiest outfit you can wear
November 26, 2025 at 6:20 PM
What’s hilarious is that “video game t-shirt and cargo shorts” was my uniform for YEARS
Question for the Louisville crew: why the hell is WAVE framing the anchor so tight? They’re in so close on her at the desk I can see her pores!
November 26, 2025 at 4:39 PM
Question for the Louisville crew: why the hell is WAVE framing the anchor so tight? They’re in so close on her at the desk I can see her pores!
Just saw a Morgan & Morgan commercial where Steamboat Willie crashes into Minnie’s car and I’m honestly shocked that even with two disclaimers they were willing to run it
November 26, 2025 at 4:31 PM
Just saw a Morgan & Morgan commercial where Steamboat Willie crashes into Minnie’s car and I’m honestly shocked that even with two disclaimers they were willing to run it
Elizabeth Olsen Eats Her Last Meal
YouTube video by Mythical Kitchen
youtu.be
November 26, 2025 at 3:17 PM
I always think about a week out “I need to bring the coffee maker or at least some instant because they don’t do caffeine in this house” and then promptly forget until it’s Wednesday morning and I have no coffee
November 26, 2025 at 1:54 PM
I always think about a week out “I need to bring the coffee maker or at least some instant because they don’t do caffeine in this house” and then promptly forget until it’s Wednesday morning and I have no coffee
I just realized that Chicago Pope is the first pope who celebrates Thanksgiving
November 26, 2025 at 1:49 PM
I just realized that Chicago Pope is the first pope who celebrates Thanksgiving
Do you recognize these people?
November 26, 2025 at 4:41 AM
Do you recognize these people?
Officially came out to one of Janie’s sisters tonight because she straight up asked if I was transitioning and I am so relieved that I can be me the rest of the holiday with no hesitation
November 26, 2025 at 3:47 AM
Officially came out to one of Janie’s sisters tonight because she straight up asked if I was transitioning and I am so relieved that I can be me the rest of the holiday with no hesitation
Well, shit.
Isolated severe thunderstorms are likely across parts of the Southeast/Deep South Tuesday morning into early evening. In the north-central U.S., a storm will bring heavy snow and gusty to high winds over parts of the northern Plains and Upper Midwest Tuesday before impacting the Great Lakes.
November 25, 2025 at 1:49 AM
Well, shit.
Evan just brought me a sketch of a new character she's working on: Detective Turkey, which is a turkey in a deerstalker hat with a magnifying glass and a chocolate bar that solves crimes
November 25, 2025 at 1:15 AM
Evan just brought me a sketch of a new character she's working on: Detective Turkey, which is a turkey in a deerstalker hat with a magnifying glass and a chocolate bar that solves crimes
This was 2019 somehow. Maybe it's time for Thanksgiving Disasters 2?
I recommend the @shutdownfullcast.bsky.social Thanksgiving Disaster episode.
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/s...
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/s...
Thanksgiving Disasters
Podcast Episode · Shutdown Fullcast · 11/22/2019 · 1h 30m
podcasts.apple.com
November 25, 2025 at 1:06 AM
This was 2019 somehow. Maybe it's time for Thanksgiving Disasters 2?
I am on fucking tilt this evening and I just want it to stop
I want someone to come clean and organize this house and be responsible for making a dinner that I don't have to be involved with and answer the 91,004 questions I get an evening and generally allow me to not be a shambling wreck
I want someone to come clean and organize this house and be responsible for making a dinner that I don't have to be involved with and answer the 91,004 questions I get an evening and generally allow me to not be a shambling wreck
November 25, 2025 at 12:33 AM
I am on fucking tilt this evening and I just want it to stop
I want someone to come clean and organize this house and be responsible for making a dinner that I don't have to be involved with and answer the 91,004 questions I get an evening and generally allow me to not be a shambling wreck
I want someone to come clean and organize this house and be responsible for making a dinner that I don't have to be involved with and answer the 91,004 questions I get an evening and generally allow me to not be a shambling wreck
OK, Compher earned those punches for that check
November 25, 2025 at 12:17 AM
OK, Compher earned those punches for that check
As a clocky trans woman who loves getting compliments on how she’s dressed because it makes her feel pretty, I love when I encounter another clocky trans woman in the wild so I can compliment her outfit or accessories and make her feel pretty without calling attention to her
November 24, 2025 at 10:05 PM
As a clocky trans woman who loves getting compliments on how she’s dressed because it makes her feel pretty, I love when I encounter another clocky trans woman in the wild so I can compliment her outfit or accessories and make her feel pretty without calling attention to her
My "We're not Enron" t-shirt is raising a lot of accounting and corporate finance questions already answered by my shirt
it's happening dot gif
November 24, 2025 at 9:11 PM
My "We're not Enron" t-shirt is raising a lot of accounting and corporate finance questions already answered by my shirt
Anyone who has ever said “children are a blessing” should spend an afternoon with this bunch of yahoos
Lincoln’s busy telling everyone about a guy having diarrhea at Taco Bell so bad they called an ambulance while Britt has a minor anxiety attack about a field trip bus being late and Evan shouts
Lincoln’s busy telling everyone about a guy having diarrhea at Taco Bell so bad they called an ambulance while Britt has a minor anxiety attack about a field trip bus being late and Evan shouts
November 24, 2025 at 8:39 PM
Anyone who has ever said “children are a blessing” should spend an afternoon with this bunch of yahoos
Lincoln’s busy telling everyone about a guy having diarrhea at Taco Bell so bad they called an ambulance while Britt has a minor anxiety attack about a field trip bus being late and Evan shouts
Lincoln’s busy telling everyone about a guy having diarrhea at Taco Bell so bad they called an ambulance while Britt has a minor anxiety attack about a field trip bus being late and Evan shouts
I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let an MTV reality show dipshit lecture me on apparel
Sean Duffy: "Dressing with respect -- whether it's a pair of jeans and a decent shirt, I would encourage people to maybe dress a little better which encourages us to maybe behave a little better. Let's try not to wear slippers and pajamas as we come to the airport."
November 24, 2025 at 8:04 PM
I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let an MTV reality show dipshit lecture me on apparel
If you’re in Metro Detroit, go see my boy Paul at Office Furniture Warehouse on Maple east of Livernois in Troy. Dude hooked me up with the screws to fix my Aeron and I told him I’d try to recommend him to people
Not to be grim but I got mine at a warehouse sale for an office building that had been foreclosed on, not that hard to find those
it's some kind of journalistic malpractice to tell people an areon going for 30% off of $1600 is a meaningful "discount". you're supposed to get one from a shady facebook marketplace guy for $150 at most
November 24, 2025 at 7:44 PM
If you’re in Metro Detroit, go see my boy Paul at Office Furniture Warehouse on Maple east of Livernois in Troy. Dude hooked me up with the screws to fix my Aeron and I told him I’d try to recommend him to people
“I considered the odds of this plan succeeding versus the odds I was doing something incredibly stupid, and I went ahead anyway.”
It’s thanksgiving week so I wanna see some MST3K posting, quotes, pictures, clips, gifs! Meanwhile I’m going to go to a department meeting and try to pay attention while I wonder if there’s beer on the sun
November 24, 2025 at 7:35 PM
“I considered the odds of this plan succeeding versus the odds I was doing something incredibly stupid, and I went ahead anyway.”