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briesmith.xyz
Call Me The Brie-ze
@briesmith.xyz
The Internet's foremost Rory Gilmore hater. Still the Ray Kroc Professor of Cheeseburger Sciences, Hamburger University. Kentucky Colonel. She/her. #bbn

Shirts and more! https://www.teepublic.com/user/wondershout

Signal:@quietude38.04
Pinned
If you missed it yesterday (and you probably did,) I launched a new store to start moving away from Teepublic, and my first new product speaks directly to the moment:

wondershout.printify.me/product/2352...
"I've Had Pizzas More Supreme Than This Court" T-shirt - $18.82 - wondershout
Buy this product for only $18.82
wondershout.printify.me
The CBS Evening News, now broadcast from a disused Max & Erma’s for some reason
Update — Here is what the new apparent CBS News segment "Whiskey Fridays with Tony Dokoupil" may look like:
January 13, 2026 at 11:44 PM
I find it difficult to believe Timothy Busfield “had to travel by car to New Mexico.” Dude could get on a plane.

This shit makes you look even more guilty
January 13, 2026 at 11:41 PM
Two weeks until my birthday!
January 13, 2026 at 6:26 PM
If your answer to this is not “absolutely not,” I want you to look at the runtime of this video and realize THAT IS THE ENTIRE FIGHT
January 13, 2026 at 5:25 PM
The proudest I ever was at catching a block on the old place was Dilbert Guy
NEW YORK (AP) — Scott Adams, the 'Dilbert' cartoonist who ridiculed office life and was later dropped for racist remarks, dies at 68.
January 13, 2026 at 4:26 PM
Timothy Busfield and Melissa Gilbert in "Little House On The Run From The Cops"
Four days after Timothy Busfield was accused of child sex abuse, the Albuquerque Police Department asked the U.S. Marshals Service for help in locating the West Wing actor.

Story: www.rollingstone.com/tv-movies/tv...
January 13, 2026 at 4:01 PM
So I'm trying not to read into this but since I've started making gluten-free dinners I wake up without my knees hurting and I seem to sleep better
January 13, 2026 at 3:18 PM
January 13, 2026 at 2:49 PM
OH SHIT LET’S GOOOOOOOOOO

#FeedTheStuds
January 12, 2026 at 11:00 PM
The Stanley Cup is on the ice at LCA right now for Sergei Fedorov’s jersey retirement and I’m not sure how I feel about that at this point in the season

Feels like tempting fate when we have a long way to go until playoff time
January 12, 2026 at 10:53 PM
You ever stop to think about how you can draw a straight line from Grimes fucking Chelsea Manning to the current hellscape we're in?
January 12, 2026 at 10:31 PM
I'm not thrilled we got the Chase instead of just 36 points races, but it's better than "you won a race in March so you're a championship contender"
January 12, 2026 at 8:46 PM
Everybody keeps on talking about it, nobody's getting it done
I'm getting tired, tired of listening, listening, knowing that the shit's gotta run
January 12, 2026 at 6:53 PM
In fact, I would argue that they are a REALER America than a place where "diversity" means there's a Baptist church and a Presbyterian church and where the only interaction most people have with a minority is Sunday lunch at the Mexican restaurant, and I should know, I've lived in both
new york city is Real America. los angeles is Real America. chicago is Real America. minneapolis is Real America. seattle, portland, detroit etc etc. sick of this framing that it's otherwise. shut the fuck up
January 12, 2026 at 6:45 PM
I wasn’t shopping at Target anyway, but if true this just reinforces it

Haven’t set foot in one in almost a year now, don’t see that changing any time soon
From a good friend in Minneapolis: "Target is allowing ICE to stage in their parking lots, use their restrooms, and abduct people from inside their stores - so if you weren’t boycotting already, now is the time." They were staging in Chicago as well.
January 12, 2026 at 6:06 PM
Just re-upped my girl juice for the week, let’s see how it goes this time
January 12, 2026 at 5:40 PM
I'm not gonna lie, this would be tempting
January 12, 2026 at 4:00 PM
I turned on CNBC to see how things go after Powell’s video and Jim Cramer appears to be melting

Like, his facial features are sliding off his head
January 12, 2026 at 2:25 PM
“Turmoil continued over the weekend in the Minnesota region of the troubled nation of America, as paramilitary forces loyal to the nation’s strongman continued their campaign of ethnic cleansing in the wake of a widely publicized shooting death of a woman in the region’s largest city.”
January 12, 2026 at 1:21 PM
Reposted by Call Me The Brie-ze
January 11, 2026 at 11:34 PM
I need this like I need air, @samreich.bsky.social @dropout.tv. RJ would be amazing on anything
Seriously. I can and will do this.
I NEED RJ City on Dropout. Any show
January 12, 2026 at 3:26 AM
If you’re not hearing alarm bells and seeing big flashing red lights at this, you’re just not paying attention. We’re in fucking trouble.
January 12, 2026 at 12:57 AM
Isn’t that “How To Lose A Popularity Contest” show just the movie “Election”?
January 12, 2026 at 12:52 AM
One of these bowls is gluten-free, one is not. Can you tell the difference?
January 12, 2026 at 12:11 AM
Cooking a gluten-containing and gluten-free meal at the same time is… complicated
January 12, 2026 at 12:00 AM