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Cally Beaton

@callybeaton.bsky.social

9.2K followers 93 following 800 posts

⭐️ 2025/26 TOUR ⭐️ + BESTSELLING BOOK ‘Namaste Motherf*ckers’ OUT NOW! 🙏🏻 At 45, Joan Rivers told me to get into stand-up. So I did. She was 81 • Live at the Apollo • QI •

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · Jul 25

I’m getting so many lovely messages from fellow midlife women saying they forgot they’d pre-ordered it and have bought it again; some more than once. Wondering if anyone’s ever made it onto bestseller list on back of menopause/brain fog before? Happy to be the first:

callybeaton.com/shop/

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 2h

Even with all the money in the world, wonder how often it happens the other way around.

Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 3h

I loved Matthew McConaughey’s Greenlights. Just one thing… the bit where he journeyed solo to find himself & write the book; 2 weeks here, 2 weeks there, 2 weeks everywhere. He had 3 school-age kids at the time. Wonder how many mums could have done that. Took me 6 yrs to get to the toilet on my own.

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 18h

And every day is the FIRST DAY EVER

Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 18h

I have a cat too 🥰

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 21h

Just don’t bank on scrimping on the training! Then they’re grand 👌🏻

Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 21h

I’d never lived on my own until my fifties. And this is what I come home to, every time I walk through the door…

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 1d

Underestimate the person with the microphone at your peril (+ a cameo appearance from my baby lion) 🦁

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 2d

Just another woman, getting mistaken for the things I am not.

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 4d

Like father, like daughter. I hope.

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 5d

Reunited with my pup! Camouflage be damned, I see him. And I love him.

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 5d

They did! x

Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 6d

Thank you Kendal, Nottingham and Southport.

(I fell more than a little bit in love with Southport ❤️)

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 7d

Happy International Zookeeper Day to my favourite zookeeper. The world’s a better place for having you in it, my son.

PS If paracetamol gives you a kid like mine, I’d say take some. Only…IT DOESN’T.

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 7d

Glorious Nottingham Arts Theatre last night. My highlights from book signing dedications afterwards: a brain tumour survivor, a woman who danced there as a little girl when it was the Co-operative Art Theatre & came back last night as a 52-year-old & a woman just diagnosed with cervical cancer. 💚🩷🙏🏻

Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 8d

2026 DATES (tickets at callybeaton.com):
BELFAST, BRISTOL, GUILDFORD, FARSLEY, BARTON/HUMBER, NEWCASTLE, ALNWICK, HEXHAM, COVENTRY, HENLEY, TORRINGTON, FALMOUTH, CARDIFF, BRIDGWATER, BRIDPORT, EXETER, HAVANT, BATH, GLASGOW, EDINBURGH, ABERDEEN, INVERNESS, SHEFFIELD, COLCHESTER, BRIGHTON, NORWICH

Cally Beaton: Stand up comedian, Speaker, Podcaster, Broadcaster, Writer

Official website of stand up comedian, speaker and podcaster Cally Beaton: News, Live dates, Podcast, Gallery, Corporate, Awards, Comedian, Speaker and Host for hire.

callybeaton.com

Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 8d

Ah fab! See you there x

Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 8d

Some pics from Kendal. What a night! NOTTINGHAM tonight & upcoming dates below. Tix: callybeaton.com/live/

SOUTHPORT 4 Oct
CHELMSFORD 19 Oct
BARNARD CASTLE 29 Oct
S’HAMPTON 2 Nov
SWINDON 3 Nov
ANDOVER 4 Nov
SHREWSBURY 6 Nov
LUTON 13 Nov
FOLKESTONE 28 Nov
LONDON 30 Nov
DORKING 4 Dec
LEICESTER 9 Dec

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 8d

Battling the weather and my bladder in Kendal…

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 8d

82 today! Happy Birthday, Dad. You’ve gone through more this past year than most yet you’re still looking/acting younger than the rest of us put together! Here’s to the next Dad chapter. Proud of you. Love you ❤️

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 9d

Next few days’ gigs (and yes, one does wonder if geography was on the syllabus of my booker):

callybeaton.com/live/

KENDAL 2nd Oct **LAST TICKETS**
NOTTINGHAM 3rd Oct **LAST TICKETS**
SOUTHPORT 4th Oct
MAIDSTONE 6th Oct **SOLD OUT**

💚🩷🙏🏻

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 9d

This wonderful woman was part of what kept my boy on the path to working with primates when he was lucky enough to meet her as a teenager. RIP Jane Goodall. Fair to say, your legacy lives on.

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 10d

After a hospital day with Dad, here’s some Jeff to put a spring in all our steps. He’s doing really well btw (Dad, Jeff too). Grateful.

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 11d

Gifted is a more specific verb than given, used deliberately by someone who writes for a living, although you could use either in this context. Does that help?!

Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 11d

Look what was gifted to me backstage last night. She’d been working on it as a surprise in time for Norwich show next month, then Norwich sold out so she bought tickets for Cambridge & got it done by then instead. Love my dog. Love my dad. Love that someone would do this for us. Thank you, Lisa.

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Cally Beaton @callybeaton.bsky.social · 12d

Midlife women, hear us roar. (And a bit of Monday existentialism.)

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