Callum / Easily Distracted
@calwal.bsky.social
27 / 🏳️🌈
If you were to mix Bridget Jones, Miranda Hart & Claudia Winkleman into a gay man
That'd be me.
Instagram - @quincygiraffe
If you were to mix Bridget Jones, Miranda Hart & Claudia Winkleman into a gay man
That'd be me.
Instagram - @quincygiraffe
The #1 movie when you were 10 years old is how your 2026 is going to go:
December 19, 2025 at 6:55 PM
The #1 movie when you were 10 years old is how your 2026 is going to go:
Spent most of the day in bed 🫠
December 18, 2025 at 5:16 PM
Spent most of the day in bed 🫠
Terry's Chocolate Orange for £1?
I'll take 3 🫠
I'll take 3 🫠
December 17, 2025 at 8:56 PM
Terry's Chocolate Orange for £1?
I'll take 3 🫠
I'll take 3 🫠
Reposted by Callum / Easily Distracted
“No, Prime Minister. I’m saying it’s a bad time to have a photo op in a fish n chip shop. It might tip public opinion.”
“The fish scales of justice, if you will.”
“Yes, thank you, Bernard.”
#TheWarBetween
“The fish scales of justice, if you will.”
“Yes, thank you, Bernard.”
#TheWarBetween
December 14, 2025 at 9:34 PM
“No, Prime Minister. I’m saying it’s a bad time to have a photo op in a fish n chip shop. It might tip public opinion.”
“The fish scales of justice, if you will.”
“Yes, thank you, Bernard.”
#TheWarBetween
“The fish scales of justice, if you will.”
“Yes, thank you, Bernard.”
#TheWarBetween
Just made chocolate brownies, the house smells amazing 😍
December 14, 2025 at 2:01 PM
Just made chocolate brownies, the house smells amazing 😍
One of the residents at work called me Colossus today. 🫠
December 12, 2025 at 3:30 PM
One of the residents at work called me Colossus today. 🫠
I have literally no motivation & I just want to cry if I'm honest.
December 6, 2025 at 3:29 PM
I have literally no motivation & I just want to cry if I'm honest.
Thought I'd go to Tesco to get a few Christmassy food bits, get the food shop started
I left feeling completely overwhelmed & didn't even buy anything 🫠
I left feeling completely overwhelmed & didn't even buy anything 🫠
December 6, 2025 at 3:06 PM
Thought I'd go to Tesco to get a few Christmassy food bits, get the food shop started
I left feeling completely overwhelmed & didn't even buy anything 🫠
I left feeling completely overwhelmed & didn't even buy anything 🫠
Lidl with it's middle aisle
Has no business being so seductive 🫠
Has no business being so seductive 🫠
December 4, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Lidl with it's middle aisle
Has no business being so seductive 🫠
Has no business being so seductive 🫠
Been an absolute savage this morning.
December 3, 2025 at 11:39 AM
Been an absolute savage this morning.
Homemade butternut squash & chilli soup 🍲
Like an orgasm in my mouth...
Like an orgasm in my mouth...
December 2, 2025 at 12:32 PM
Homemade butternut squash & chilli soup 🍲
Like an orgasm in my mouth...
Like an orgasm in my mouth...
Noot Noot Motherfuckers.
December 2, 2025 at 12:00 AM
Noot Noot Motherfuckers.
If the notebook ain't juicy, I ain't buying it.
December 1, 2025 at 7:45 PM
If the notebook ain't juicy, I ain't buying it.
Would love to know why my 3 days off involve being asked to cover shifts each day? 🫠
December 1, 2025 at 4:54 PM
Would love to know why my 3 days off involve being asked to cover shifts each day? 🫠
Taking applications by the way 🫠
A new boyfriend would be nice.
November 30, 2025 at 8:51 PM
Taking applications by the way 🫠
A new boyfriend would be nice.
November 30, 2025 at 8:41 PM
A new boyfriend would be nice.
When people say sorry for getting in the way out in public
I'm going to start saying, "You fucking will be" 🫠
I'm going to start saying, "You fucking will be" 🫠
November 30, 2025 at 12:35 PM
When people say sorry for getting in the way out in public
I'm going to start saying, "You fucking will be" 🫠
I'm going to start saying, "You fucking will be" 🫠
Me as a BlueSky therapist...
November 28, 2025 at 7:04 AM
Me as a BlueSky therapist...
Reposted by Callum / Easily Distracted
I was cooking Christmas dinner and drunkenly tried to tip some of the turkey juice into the toilet as the sink was full of pots. As I did this, the turkey slid from the tin and wedged itself into the toilet. I managed to unwedge it and returned it to the oven. I ate the gammon.
November 26, 2025 at 10:20 PM
I was cooking Christmas dinner and drunkenly tried to tip some of the turkey juice into the toilet as the sink was full of pots. As I did this, the turkey slid from the tin and wedged itself into the toilet. I managed to unwedge it and returned it to the oven. I ate the gammon.
Woken up an hour early & the main thoughts are:
- I'm going to end up alone
- Someone just finish me off
- Did I just have a panic attack? 🫠
- I'm going to end up alone
- Someone just finish me off
- Did I just have a panic attack? 🫠
November 27, 2025 at 5:44 AM
Woken up an hour early & the main thoughts are:
- I'm going to end up alone
- Someone just finish me off
- Did I just have a panic attack? 🫠
- I'm going to end up alone
- Someone just finish me off
- Did I just have a panic attack? 🫠
Spending the afternoon in bed watching Netflix & eating snacks
Life, eh?
Life, eh?
November 26, 2025 at 2:46 PM
Spending the afternoon in bed watching Netflix & eating snacks
Life, eh?
Life, eh?
Homemade pork burgers with apple sauce & stuffing
Served with homemade potato wedges & coleslaw 🫠
Served with homemade potato wedges & coleslaw 🫠
November 26, 2025 at 1:21 PM
Homemade pork burgers with apple sauce & stuffing
Served with homemade potato wedges & coleslaw 🫠
Served with homemade potato wedges & coleslaw 🫠
Turns out I don't
For now...
For now...
Reckon I must put people off 😅
November 26, 2025 at 1:14 AM
Turns out I don't
For now...
For now...
Reckon I'd do quite well on Strictly, the way I was just strutting my stuff! 😅
Extra points for the hip action too!
Extra points for the hip action too!
a close up of a man 's face with a pink background
ALT: a close up of a man 's face with a pink background
media.tenor.com
November 25, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Reckon I'd do quite well on Strictly, the way I was just strutting my stuff! 😅
Extra points for the hip action too!
Extra points for the hip action too!
Share a TV series you've watched from beginning to end more than once
November 25, 2025 at 3:14 PM
Share a TV series you've watched from beginning to end more than once