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Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom”

@carpetnotbig.bsky.social

84 followers 110 following 940 posts

i am nervous all of the time he/him owns-battle-chess-for-ibm/tandy-on-5.25”-floppy-disk years old header by @bayte.bsky.social icon by @spittyart.bsky.social

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Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · Mar 4

I should probably have a ref here so until I get a proper one this mess’ll have to do 👀

artwork (going clockwise from top left) by @spittyart.bsky.social @azureangelic.bsky.social @sinfulberry.bsky.social @cri-twisted13.bsky.social and @bayte.bsky.social (except for the picrew/stuff i drew myself)

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Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 9h

No no no you’ve got it wrong, if you want to go down on yourself you lie on your BACK and bring your legs DOWN towards you

Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 14h

oh god i knew they were fucking in that scene but it never clicked THAT’S what was happening

Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 17h

Otherwise you have the equivalent of someone 20 foot tall wearing a 6 foot tall guy’s necktie

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Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 17h

Sam: I will not vore people no way no how
Also Sam: So you’re saying eating people is a competition and if I don’t do it I lose 🤔

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Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 19h

Lots of people played around with LLM gizmos in the early days; AI Dungeon or janky fake pokemon generations or “look at this ridiculous movie scene a neural network wrote,” when their infamy as a planet-killing plagiarism engine was not yet known

Today everyone should know better and has no excuse

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Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 1d

based off of my banner it’s more of a “fattens you deeply” but the rest of the principle applies,

Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 1d

The animal Garfield cast get summoned to another universe to replace its original heroes after they all get banished somewhere else. Jon (not isekaied, he just exists in the other universe) is emperor of the planet Polyester

The 90s did some kooky stuff to encourage kids to read

Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 1d

scholastic book fairs make fools of us all

Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 1d

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Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 1d

Gullet is such a good word, it’s classy enough that you can use it in metaphors that aren’t horny and yet it is also extremely horny when used in consumption-based contexts and you can even use it for classy and horny purposes SIMULTANEOUSLY

We do need more synonyms for throat tho, for vore reasons

Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 1d

Rewatched some of Cowboy Bebop recently and I forgot how much the early episodes rely on street vendor fortune tellers whose fortunes turn out to be 100% accuracy to advance the plot

Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 1d

The real tell is whether they advocate for other bodily autonomy issues. Trans rights, abortion rights, not subjecting intersex infants to invasive surgery

If circumcision is their lone cause that is a RED FLAG

Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 1d

I would’ve liked to have kept mine too but it’s not OUR fault that the rest of the damn USA decided making it all but mandatory (sometimes literally mandatory by state law!) was a good idea

Did make going to my nephew’s bris uncomfortable but what can you do

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Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 1d

condescending and/or apathetic handjobs is an entire art genre that sometimes one just finds themselves browsing through pixiv from imageset to imageset and going through the trouble of putting each part into google lens so that one can get the gist of the domtext, it’s a universal experience i bet

Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 1d

It is always morally correct for people taller than me to use me as an armrest or an anythingrest

If I didn’t want to be used as one then I should’ve thought of that before deciding to be short

Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 1d

Was reminded of this sketch @azureangelic.bsky.social did of himself using my head as an armrest and my lap as a bellyrest and felt others needed to see it

azureangelic.bsky.social using my head as an armrest and my lap as a bellyrest

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Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 2d

This difference in perspective even dovetails with the very act of live digestion and it’s just, it’s real good okay bsky.app/profile/carp...

Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · Jan 6

@word0ne.bsky.social: It is a little funny that a vital part of davecore is "dying in long protracted drawn out ways" when the scene from the pred point of view would be so static it would almost not be worth showing
@word0ne.bsky.social: dave who is going through The Revenant while some pred just like. idk watches history channel for four to eight hours???
@word0ne.bsky.social:
@word0ne.bsky.social: it's the sort of thing an artist would be tempted to represent just as a single static image copied over itself just for parity
@word0ne.bsky.social: but on the flipside I guess at some point there are no more dave panels and an arbitrary amount of subsequent not-dave panels
@word0ne.bsky.social: so maybe the numbers balance out???

me: this is the very core of vore. the vore core. the absolute mundanity of the body processing food into fuel, executed automatically without our input, so beneath our notice that we only take note of it if something goes wrong. the same process that is utterly effortless and unremarkable for the consumer is apocalyptic for the consumed, unmatched in its cruelty. an inescapable, organic living chamber that promises unyielding pain for the rest of your life from the moment that you enter it. it is alive yet bereft of emotion, a creation without empathy or pity or remorse, carved by evolution over millions of years to interact with the world in only one way: through unspeakable, unyielding violence. it crushes and pulverizes and burns and boils and penetrates and peels and dissolves away the bonds that make you you, severing the connections between every individual component that collectively made you a unique form on this earth, a form history will never see again, a collection of past present and yet unseen possibility that it doesn't give a fuck about because it only cares about the raw components used in your construction. and so in the primordial darkness and sweltering heat and with the sound of lungs filling and emptying with air and a heart steadily beating just beyond your prison of smooth muscle you will have everything that you are erased from existence and your spark of life lost to eternity and where earlier you laid sobbing in your acidborne agony with despair at your approaching end your only companion will be a uniform sludge unrecognizable from any other that had passed through this well traveled trail before you, to be mined for any value the body surrounding you can claim from it, used up and stitched into their flesh as a nameless gravestone on their physique, and the bits of you they don't care about wasted in the most literal sense of the world and whisked away. all beneath our notice.
me: and that's why it's super fucking hot

Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 2d

I’m sure there must be a better term for this somewhere but I’ve taken to calling it Fatal Perspective Difference and it is the zestiest goddamn sauce imaginable, an irreconcilable perspective or moral outlook that kills you and the psychological horror the you experience contrasted against the pred

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Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 2d

The very first time I ever saw Bro depicted as abusive was a Paradox Space comic that Hussie was the writer for (where John and Dad went to the Dadly Depot together) and it really did feel like it came out of nowhere. Then it basically became the backbone of the Epilogues even more explicably

Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 2d

I remember the course of fanart and fan reactions over the entire course of Homestuck keenly from the very first update on 4/10/09 and I never ONCE saw Bro depicted as an abusive character before it was made canon. Headcanons of him as a supportive brother (and Gurren Lagann enthusiast) abounded

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Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 3d

“Bro was abusive to Dave” will always stand out as the weirdest plot point/retcon from the second half of Homestuck for this reason, as though the rest of the kids weren’t also comically trashing their homes with inventory management or trying to brain their dads with a hammer

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Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 3d

one facial coming right up

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Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 3d

fish are just on another level from us, they’ve got forcefem and body absorption vore and 30 foot tall tentacle monsters and self-cloning and apex predators that haven’t evolved at all in millions of years because they’re already perfect and honest to god immortality. leaving the ocean was a mistake

Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 4d

a lot of fat? i’m sure i would I MEAN WHAT YEAH HA HA WHAT YOU SAID TOTALLY

Welcome to Dave is Food dot Net: “It's Dave Nom” @carpetnotbig.bsky.social · 4d

someone’s gotta cuz the fat sure can’t

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