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Chronic Illness Humor

@chronicillness.bsky.social

20K followers 5.3K following 19K posts

Chronic Illnesses + Autoimmune Disorders R no laughing matter but my humorous posts will make U feel better for while. https://chronicillnesstees.etsy.com https://mybodyistryingtokillme.com/ https://www.redbubble.com/people/ChronicillnessT #chronicillness

chronicillnesstees.etsy.com

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Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · Dec 1

For those of you taking Methotrexate, find a shirt or mug ( www.etsy.com/shop/Chronic... ) or pin, magnet, sticker ( www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/1667... )

#autoimmune

white t-shirt with the words "I'm on Meth" in gray and "otrexate" in red.

Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 7h

Artist: @loadingartist.com

LoadingArtist.com

1 - a guy screaming "hey does anyo-'
2 - he hears a 'shhhhh!!' and looks over
3 - librarian frowning and point toward sign that says no talking
4 - guy whispering 'does anyone know cpr'

Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 7h

a woman in bed "i feel amazing!'

----

woman falls out of bed "I've been hit by a truck..."

Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 7h

pervocracy on tumblr -observations from urgent care
- People who exercise a lot get knee injuries from overdoing it

- People who only exercise occasionally get knee injuries from being unprepared for the exertion

- People who don’t exercise get knee injuries from being out of shape

- Maybe knees just suck

Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 7h

Can an obgyn tell who does kegels? Like do they look at certain vaginas and go "wow, you're fucken ripped"

Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 7h

Artist: @srgrafo.bsky.social - I changed the words for chronic illness

a cop labeled (immune system) shining his flashlight at bad guys labeled (bacteria, viruses, parasites, and cancer cells) and then there is a little guy there too

---

the cop (immune system) shines the flashlight and only sees the little guy (me)

Artist: SrGrafo

Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 8h

I don't get up to investigate strange noises. They're all coming from my body.

Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 8h

>>SATIRE Insurance Company Proudly Denies Coverage in Record Time

[Business guy smiling and holding thumb up at laptop]

MyBodysTryingTokillMe.com

Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 10h

All I ask is that
everyone pretends
to find whatever's
wrong with me
fascinating

Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 10h

When You're Chronically III And It's A Little Less Bad Today

michael from good place saying how are you doing and eleanor replies a little better, but still terrible

Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 10h

boccher - aug 12

doctor will fix me they'll do terrible darkness seated in my stomach and a scan and find a be like "oh my god we're so sorry we were supposed to remove this at birth like everyone else, i don't know how this was missed, we're so sorry you've been living like this your whole life" and it'll fix my brain too and all clouds will part

Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 10h

a woman snorting doctors up her nose with a dollar bill while blood tears run down her eyes

she says 'mmm.snorting doctors'

Addicted to Disappointment

"I promise I'm different"

Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 10h

My top sexual fantasy right now is to take a coma-like 15 day nap in someone's arms

MyBodylSTryingTokillMe.com

Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 10h

Artist: @buttpoems.bsky.social I tweaked the words a bit for chronic illness

Artist: ButtPoems (I tweaked the words for chronic illness)

have you met me?

1 - guy saying 'chronic illness isolations has given me more time for self reflection

2 - that's good he says looking up

3 - and then he says 'nope'

4 - he looks down 'nope. it's not'

Artist: buttpoems

Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 11h

a woman with stuff all over her face and googles on and something keeping her mouth open in the dentist chair

REMEMBER: Dentists Are Way More Scared Of You Than You Are Of Them

Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 11h

This chronic illness is illness-ing the fuck out of me

Reposted by Chronic Illness Humor

Humor For Resistance @funnysnarkyjoke.bsky.social · 2d

Well, aren't you a little ray of depression pitch black

Reposted by Chronic Illness Humor

Humor For Resistance @funnysnarkyjoke.bsky.social · 1d

@WendiAarons

Nurse: "Have you had any unexplained weight gain this past year?"

Me: "No, there are explanations."

Reposted by Chronic Illness Humor

Humor For Resistance @funnysnarkyjoke.bsky.social · 1d

@pixelatedboat.bsky.social

Pixelated Boat

Office morale has increased noticeably since we put a tarp over Dave's body

Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 1d

me: can you tuck me in
them: ??? you handed me a shovel
me: yeah just spread the dirt over me as evenly as you can thanks.

Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 1d

Sensory issues also pertain to many of us with chronic illnesses

NEUROTYPICALS: "JUST IGNORE IT." NEURODIVERGENTS: "OK, BUT MY BRAIN HAS SURROUND SOUND."

Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 1d

a guy spraying hellman's nose spray up his nose

Hellmann's Mayonnaisal Spray

For when you're breathing a little too easy..

Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 1d

When you're in a horrible flare and someone tells you, "You look great.'

[woman posing in a coffin]

Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 1d

Chronic Illness Bop It

[pic of bop it game and the center button says 'fuck it (my life)' and the green pully thing is labeled (overdo it) and the red dial thing (ignore it) and the blue pull knob (suppress it) and yellow thing (drug it)

Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 1d

1 - a guy looking over at a guy (life) holding a huge lemon - guy says 'i want to be healthy' and life replies 'did someone say lemons?'

----

mad guy says 'no...health!' and life smiles and starts juggling lemons 'no health...only lemons!'

Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 1d

these are mind and I didn't bring enough to share

[a girl holding an armful of the word 'spoon']