Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · 11h

It's gonna go on forever!! If we just keep throwing big bricks of money-coal into the furnace we can keep the money locomotive chugging along the track! Where it stops? AI girlfriend and free candy land for every lonely tech CEO that wishes he was Batman but can't lift weights due to his knees.

The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · 5d

Try some alternatives like brown rice syrup!

The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · 5d

Mike is only saying that because he knows he would fail to maintain speaker if it came to a vote again. They failed to vote him in two? Three times? He's fallen in with the bullies in the lunch room and he's terrified he'll say the wrong thing and become a target again. Spineless little coward

Reposted by The Daring Count Raccoonula

KinoFabino 🇵🇸 @kinofabino.bsky.social · 7d

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The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · 6d

Just trying to avoid releasing the Epstein files.

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Reposted by The Daring Count Raccoonula

The Onion @theonion.com · 15d

Family Fears Grandmother Aware Of Her Surroundings https://theonion.com/family-fears-grandmother-aware-of-her-surroundings-1819576982/

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Reposted by The Daring Count Raccoonula

The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · Sep 10

Finally I can post this and feel it truly fits the day.

a man wearing glasses and a blue jacket is standing in a dark room and says what a shame .

ALT: a man wearing glasses and a blue jacket is standing in a dark room and says what a shame .

media.tenor.com

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The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · 18d

He's just pulling out all the stops to avoid the Epstein files. It's driven him to the brink of madness.

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Reposted by The Daring Count Raccoonula

Mickey Kuhns @mickeykuhns.bsky.social · 18d

We are approaching a moment of no return, where a system reorganizes itself into a new state…
#ResistNowOrForeverHoldYourPeace

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Reposted by The Daring Count Raccoonula

Nightdive Studios @nightdivestudios.bsky.social · 20d

Refresh your supply of blood with our special release Blood: Refreshed Supply coming to PC and consoles later this year! 🩸

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The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · 23d

Aw damnit. I already get a fever every time. I'll just plan on being completely toast for at least a day.

The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · 23d

Squadala, we are off to get killed by toilets our friends keep throwing around the map!

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Reposted by The Daring Count Raccoonula

The Onion @theonion.com · 23d

Trump Adds $100,000 Fee For H-1B Visa Applications
https://theonion.com/trump-adds-100000-fee-for-h-1b-visa-applications/

“What’s more American than paying way too much money for something?”

Jasper Still, Cactus Smoother

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The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · 23d

Jesus, if you need a contractor to break some people's arms I have Gilgamesh on speed dial. Gilgamesh has zero reservations .

The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · 23d

Someone on the right could meticulously set up a professional camera crew, explain that they are indeed a believer in Trump's vision for a septic tank based society, and shoot someone, and Trump would blame liberals.

The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · Sep 14

They still are. They're sticking to that as their narrative. They will manipulate the fabric or reality to will a trans roommate into existence before they admit they created a violent caste of angry kids that kill people.

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Reposted by The Daring Count Raccoonula

The Onion @theonion.com · Sep 14

C’mon, Everybody, There’s Too Many Of Us For Them To Stop Us From Jerking Off All At Once!

Gather ’round, friends, and lend me your ears! Today, I bring to you a marvelous proposition, one that can become a reality with everyone’s help. It may seem far-fetched at first—the ravings of yet an...

theonion.com

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The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · Sep 12

If any of you have seen some of the deranged clout farming tiktok vids people posted they are a treat. Full on murderous rage against liberals in full display. Now that it's been revealed that the kid was just a goblin I wonder where those posts will go. . .

Reposted by The Daring Count Raccoonula

WeRateDogs @weratedogs.com · Sep 11

This is Holly. She won't fall sleep until she's been given her stuffed cow. 13/10 sweet dreams Holly (TT: hollythebluestaffy__)

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The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · Sep 11

I'm not a man, I'm a series of raccoons in a trenchcoat. But we collectively own a rifle.

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The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · Sep 10

He was the humanoid embodiment of a wet, undulating fart, that lasted 31 years.

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The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · Sep 10

Finally I can post this and feel it truly fits the day.

a man wearing glasses and a blue jacket is standing in a dark room and says what a shame .

ALT: a man wearing glasses and a blue jacket is standing in a dark room and says what a shame .

media.tenor.com

1

Reposted by The Daring Count Raccoonula

The Onion @theonion.com · Sep 9

It Only Tuesday https://theonion.com/it-only-tuesday-1819569397/

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The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · Sep 4

Counting down the days until Donald Trump explodes like a mega man boss and the shockwave causes his minions to disintegrate like in a marvel movie.

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The Daring Count Raccoonula @countraccoonula.bsky.social · Sep 4

Hey yo man it's ya boy mark Zuckerberg. I made a bot on Facebook that's a literal pedophile! It's pretty sweet. I'm quite proud of it. Now if you'll excuse me I need to go flex in my polo shirt and think about how cool I am and how fucking sick I look in my goggles.