@craigk328.bsky.social
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In my teenage years I had a fling with a mate's divorced mum. It was great, she taught me a lot and I apparently satisfied her needs. Fast forward 40 years and I've reconnected with the mate who's invited me to his mum's 80th b'day party as she 'always spoke fondly of me'.
December 18, 2025 at 4:20 PM
In my teenage years I had a fling with a mate's divorced mum. It was great, she taught me a lot and I apparently satisfied her needs. Fast forward 40 years and I've reconnected with the mate who's invited me to his mum's 80th b'day party as she 'always spoke fondly of me'.
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Every time I hit a pothole or speedbump with my bicycle, I yell BOOM BOOM to amuse my son in the baby seat. This morning loudly yelled BOOM BOOM cycling on a busy street before realizing I already dropped him off at school.
December 18, 2025 at 7:20 PM
Every time I hit a pothole or speedbump with my bicycle, I yell BOOM BOOM to amuse my son in the baby seat. This morning loudly yelled BOOM BOOM cycling on a busy street before realizing I already dropped him off at school.
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I used to order loads of CDs off Brittania music. I'd use different names and they used to just keep sending them to my address. I never paid them a penny but built up an amazing collection. I think I may have helped play a part in their eventual bankruptcy.
December 18, 2025 at 8:20 AM
I used to order loads of CDs off Brittania music. I'd use different names and they used to just keep sending them to my address. I never paid them a penny but built up an amazing collection. I think I may have helped play a part in their eventual bankruptcy.
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I was at peace about all the usual things that come with aging, but I was NOT prepared for how hairy my actual dick would get. Like, proper sasquatch dong. At least I know where the hair from my head is migrating to.
December 17, 2025 at 12:20 PM
I was at peace about all the usual things that come with aging, but I was NOT prepared for how hairy my actual dick would get. Like, proper sasquatch dong. At least I know where the hair from my head is migrating to.
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I think my mum wanted to avoid spending money on something an 8yo would destroy. But I believed her when she told me that the people who wore sunglasses were vampires. I did my best to avoid sunglasses wearers in case they were hungry. I now own sunglasses.
December 17, 2025 at 3:20 PM
I think my mum wanted to avoid spending money on something an 8yo would destroy. But I believed her when she told me that the people who wore sunglasses were vampires. I did my best to avoid sunglasses wearers in case they were hungry. I now own sunglasses.
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A colleague tried to feel me up at the office holiday party. I was a good little employee, told her no, mentioned HR, got out of dodge. Even told my wife so she couldn't do the blackmail thing. Still, I've never felt so attractive.
December 17, 2025 at 4:20 PM
A colleague tried to feel me up at the office holiday party. I was a good little employee, told her no, mentioned HR, got out of dodge. Even told my wife so she couldn't do the blackmail thing. Still, I've never felt so attractive.
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Recently ended things with a girlfriend. She didn't do anything wrong at all, she was lovely, but her five year old kid was terrifying. First person I've ever met I'm convinced will be a serial killer.
December 17, 2025 at 6:20 PM
Recently ended things with a girlfriend. She didn't do anything wrong at all, she was lovely, but her five year old kid was terrifying. First person I've ever met I'm convinced will be a serial killer.
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Came back to my shared house after a few pints only to find the fridge and cupboards empty after doing a big shop. In a drunken rage I told my housemates what I really thought of them, only to find the shopping still in the boot of my car the next morning.
December 17, 2025 at 5:20 PM
Came back to my shared house after a few pints only to find the fridge and cupboards empty after doing a big shop. In a drunken rage I told my housemates what I really thought of them, only to find the shopping still in the boot of my car the next morning.
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When I passed my driving test in 1973, I celebrated at The Star at Overbury. I bent two cars getting out of the car park & drove like a bat out of hell to Winchcombe, where I hid in the square for half an hours before going home. Sorry chaps, but in my defence, I was very pissed
December 17, 2025 at 7:20 PM
When I passed my driving test in 1973, I celebrated at The Star at Overbury. I bent two cars getting out of the car park & drove like a bat out of hell to Winchcombe, where I hid in the square for half an hours before going home. Sorry chaps, but in my defence, I was very pissed
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There's a photo of me from my wedding day where I'm laughing and I look what can only be described as gay. I have a gay face when I laugh. It probably wouldn't bother me so much but I actually am gay and haven't yet worked out how to tell the wife.
December 17, 2025 at 8:20 PM
There's a photo of me from my wedding day where I'm laughing and I look what can only be described as gay. I have a gay face when I laugh. It probably wouldn't bother me so much but I actually am gay and haven't yet worked out how to tell the wife.
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If you film an entire song at a gig I will sing as loudly and as badly as I can, as I close to you as I can
December 17, 2025 at 10:20 PM
If you film an entire song at a gig I will sing as loudly and as badly as I can, as I close to you as I can
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My husband has opted out of donating his organs. I love him to bits but if he goes first and has viable organs that would help others, I will be doing everything possible to make sure they get donated.
December 17, 2025 at 9:20 PM
My husband has opted out of donating his organs. I love him to bits but if he goes first and has viable organs that would help others, I will be doing everything possible to make sure they get donated.
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Knowing a housemate was bringing a new girlfriend back, I spent some time with a wet finger and coffee granules creating horrific skidmarks in the underwear he had hanging up to dry
December 16, 2025 at 9:20 PM
Knowing a housemate was bringing a new girlfriend back, I spent some time with a wet finger and coffee granules creating horrific skidmarks in the underwear he had hanging up to dry
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Recently single I saw a load of ladies running around wearing the local running club tops, so joined up in the hope to get to know some. Six months later I'm chatting with blokes about the benefits of leg shaving and too busy with my training program for a relationship.
December 16, 2025 at 11:20 PM
Recently single I saw a load of ladies running around wearing the local running club tops, so joined up in the hope to get to know some. Six months later I'm chatting with blokes about the benefits of leg shaving and too busy with my training program for a relationship.
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Boyfriend has gotten into the habit of pulling down his trunks and pulling apart his bum cheeks to let out a fart when we're alone. Was quite amusing until he pushed a bit too hard and poo came out. Can't get the image out of my head. Think the relationship is done.
December 16, 2025 at 10:20 AM
Boyfriend has gotten into the habit of pulling down his trunks and pulling apart his bum cheeks to let out a fart when we're alone. Was quite amusing until he pushed a bit too hard and poo came out. Can't get the image out of my head. Think the relationship is done.
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Got a tampon stuck up my vag so I phoned my boyfriend to "come home and help get it out." What was failed to mention was he was in the car with his family and the call was being broadcasted to the whole car to hear. Mother in law suggested lube to help it "slip out". kill me
December 16, 2025 at 11:20 AM
Got a tampon stuck up my vag so I phoned my boyfriend to "come home and help get it out." What was failed to mention was he was in the car with his family and the call was being broadcasted to the whole car to hear. Mother in law suggested lube to help it "slip out". kill me
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English isn't my wife's first language, but she's lived in UK 20+ yrs. This morning, at a carol concert, I learned she has been singing that "Christ, Arse Saver" is born during 'Silent Night' the whole time. "Because he saves our arses, yes?"
December 16, 2025 at 3:20 PM
English isn't my wife's first language, but she's lived in UK 20+ yrs. This morning, at a carol concert, I learned she has been singing that "Christ, Arse Saver" is born during 'Silent Night' the whole time. "Because he saves our arses, yes?"
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My husband annoyed me by demanding the clean dinner plates go in a certain order in the cupboard, so I stuck his toothbrush up my bum. Now I've given myself a terrible dischargey infection and it burns when I pee.
December 16, 2025 at 5:20 PM
My husband annoyed me by demanding the clean dinner plates go in a certain order in the cupboard, so I stuck his toothbrush up my bum. Now I've given myself a terrible dischargey infection and it burns when I pee.
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When I was 8 I picked up the Chinese since it was round the corner. One time bossman handed me an extra chicken ball and I ate it from his hand like a deer. Everyone behind the counter erupted with laughter soon as I left. I'm 24 and it still haunts me.
December 16, 2025 at 9:20 AM
When I was 8 I picked up the Chinese since it was round the corner. One time bossman handed me an extra chicken ball and I ate it from his hand like a deer. Everyone behind the counter erupted with laughter soon as I left. I'm 24 and it still haunts me.
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I love Lindor truffles. They're at their best when slightly melted on the inside. To achieve this I tuck one, still wrapped, under one of my boobs for five minutes which is long enough to melt the inside without destroying the structural integrity of the outside. Delicious!
December 15, 2025 at 2:20 PM
I love Lindor truffles. They're at their best when slightly melted on the inside. To achieve this I tuck one, still wrapped, under one of my boobs for five minutes which is long enough to melt the inside without destroying the structural integrity of the outside. Delicious!
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Went to Belfast for a weekend away with my wife. Saw a parade going past and assumed it would a great Gay Pride event. It turns out I know very little about Northern Ireland and the orange people don't want to be joined by lesbians. That said, we had a lovely weekend.
December 15, 2025 at 3:20 PM
Went to Belfast for a weekend away with my wife. Saw a parade going past and assumed it would a great Gay Pride event. It turns out I know very little about Northern Ireland and the orange people don't want to be joined by lesbians. That said, we had a lovely weekend.
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When I first moved to Australia I marvelled at how friendly everybody was. Strangers waving at me across the street. Lovely, I thought, so I waved back. It took me a while to realise that they weren't greeting me at all, just batting away the flies.
December 14, 2025 at 10:20 PM
When I first moved to Australia I marvelled at how friendly everybody was. Strangers waving at me across the street. Lovely, I thought, so I waved back. It took me a while to realise that they weren't greeting me at all, just batting away the flies.
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The company secretary where I once worked overheard some of the younger boys having a bit of chat. She approached later that day and and asked outright what a minge was. I saved everyone's embarrassment that day and told her that it was a large vase.
December 14, 2025 at 11:20 PM
The company secretary where I once worked overheard some of the younger boys having a bit of chat. She approached later that day and and asked outright what a minge was. I saved everyone's embarrassment that day and told her that it was a large vase.