Gem Borealis
@crispygem.bsky.social
Gem (Sam only if we’re close)
19
he/him
Interests: Owl House, Murder Drones, TADC, Amphibia, Star Wars, Marvel, Gravity Falls, and probably more that I’m forgetting about
Pfp by apofiss
19
he/him
Interests: Owl House, Murder Drones, TADC, Amphibia, Star Wars, Marvel, Gravity Falls, and probably more that I’m forgetting about
Pfp by apofiss
Reposted by Gem Borealis
All 6 Branches Of Armed Forces Present At Arrest Of Undocumented Nanny https://theonion.com/all-6-branches-of-armed-forces-present-at-arrest-of-undocumented-nanny/
January 16, 2026 at 10:00 PM
All 6 Branches Of Armed Forces Present At Arrest Of Undocumented Nanny https://theonion.com/all-6-branches-of-armed-forces-present-at-arrest-of-undocumented-nanny/
Reposted by Gem Borealis
Pioneering Female Archaeologist In Google Doodle Bears Silent Witness To Man’s Search For ‘Zootopia’ Porn https://theonion.com/pioneering-female-archaeologist-in-google-doodle-bears-silent-witness-to-mans-search-for-zootopia-porn/
January 16, 2026 at 8:00 PM
Pioneering Female Archaeologist In Google Doodle Bears Silent Witness To Man’s Search For ‘Zootopia’ Porn https://theonion.com/pioneering-female-archaeologist-in-google-doodle-bears-silent-witness-to-mans-search-for-zootopia-porn/
Reposted by Gem Borealis
Conservatives Say Renée Good Was Brainwashed By Bible Into Loving Thy Neighbor https://theonion.com/conservatives-say-renee-good-was-brainwashed-by-bible-into-loving-thy-neighbor/
January 15, 2026 at 4:30 PM
Conservatives Say Renée Good Was Brainwashed By Bible Into Loving Thy Neighbor https://theonion.com/conservatives-say-renee-good-was-brainwashed-by-bible-into-loving-thy-neighbor/
Reposted by Gem Borealis
Evening star✨⊹ ࣪ ˖°. ...wallpaper size, link in bio!
January 15, 2026 at 4:58 PM
Evening star✨⊹ ࣪ ˖°. ...wallpaper size, link in bio!
Reposted by Gem Borealis
Melania Trump Casts Longtime Aide Into Well Of Gloom https://theonion.com/melania-trump-casts-longtime-aide-into-well-of-gloom/
January 15, 2026 at 7:00 PM
Melania Trump Casts Longtime Aide Into Well Of Gloom https://theonion.com/melania-trump-casts-longtime-aide-into-well-of-gloom/
Reposted by Gem Borealis
Trump threatened to invoke the insurrection act on Minnesota.
These are meaningless threats. The city is already under occupation by federal forces. This is about scaring local electeds into cracking down for him and having preemptive compliance.
These are meaningless threats. The city is already under occupation by federal forces. This is about scaring local electeds into cracking down for him and having preemptive compliance.
January 15, 2026 at 1:28 PM
Trump threatened to invoke the insurrection act on Minnesota.
These are meaningless threats. The city is already under occupation by federal forces. This is about scaring local electeds into cracking down for him and having preemptive compliance.
These are meaningless threats. The city is already under occupation by federal forces. This is about scaring local electeds into cracking down for him and having preemptive compliance.
Reposted by Gem Borealis
Powerful Bidet Blasts Hole Clean Through Man
January 14, 2026 at 7:00 PM
Powerful Bidet Blasts Hole Clean Through Man
Reposted by Gem Borealis
Trump Supporter Has Few Backup Scapegoats Ready To Go In Case Crackdown On Immigrants Doesn’t Fix Everything https://theonion.com/trump-supporter-has-few-backup-scapegoats-ready-to-go-i-1819579570/
January 13, 2026 at 9:00 PM
Trump Supporter Has Few Backup Scapegoats Ready To Go In Case Crackdown On Immigrants Doesn’t Fix Everything https://theonion.com/trump-supporter-has-few-backup-scapegoats-ready-to-go-i-1819579570/
Reposted by Gem Borealis
GOP Adds ‘ICE Kills Everyone’ Pillar To 2026 Platform https://theonion.com/gop-adds-ice-kills-everyone-pillar-to-2026-platform/
January 13, 2026 at 6:30 PM
GOP Adds ‘ICE Kills Everyone’ Pillar To 2026 Platform https://theonion.com/gop-adds-ice-kills-everyone-pillar-to-2026-platform/
Reposted by Gem Borealis
X Users Ask Grok To Put More Clothes On Elon Musk Pictures https://theonion.com/x-users-ask-grok-to-put-more-clothes-on-elon-musk-pictures/
January 12, 2026 at 8:15 PM
X Users Ask Grok To Put More Clothes On Elon Musk Pictures https://theonion.com/x-users-ask-grok-to-put-more-clothes-on-elon-musk-pictures/
Reposted by Gem Borealis
Reposted by Gem Borealis
Cosmic star cats from previous year!✧˖°.
January 11, 2026 at 5:42 PM
Cosmic star cats from previous year!✧˖°.
Reposted by Gem Borealis
Caleb Williams Signals Boisterous Chicago Home Crowd To Eat Less Loudly https://theonion.com/caleb-williams-signals-boisterous-chicago-home-crowd-to-eat-less-loudly/
January 11, 2026 at 1:02 AM
Caleb Williams Signals Boisterous Chicago Home Crowd To Eat Less Loudly https://theonion.com/caleb-williams-signals-boisterous-chicago-home-crowd-to-eat-less-loudly/
Reposted by Gem Borealis
Tonight Minnesotans stood together to honor the life of Renee Nicole Good.
January 10, 2026 at 12:18 AM
Tonight Minnesotans stood together to honor the life of Renee Nicole Good.
Reposted by Gem Borealis
DHS Releases Watchlist Of Mothers Driving Cars https://theonion.com/dhs-releases-watchlist-of-mothers-driving-cars/
January 9, 2026 at 7:00 PM
DHS Releases Watchlist Of Mothers Driving Cars https://theonion.com/dhs-releases-watchlist-of-mothers-driving-cars/
Reposted by Gem Borealis
DHS Warns Any Action By Americans Will Be Treated As Domestic Terrorism https://theonion.com/dhs-warns-any-action-by-americans-will-be-treated-as-domestic-terrorism/
January 8, 2026 at 6:57 PM
DHS Warns Any Action By Americans Will Be Treated As Domestic Terrorism https://theonion.com/dhs-warns-any-action-by-americans-will-be-treated-as-domestic-terrorism/
Reposted by Gem Borealis
ICE Opens Interdimensional Detention Center To Indefinitely Imprison Immigrants Across Infinite Number Of Multiverses https://theonion.com/ice-opens-interdimensional-detention-center-to-indefini-1837476700/
January 8, 2026 at 8:30 PM
ICE Opens Interdimensional Detention Center To Indefinitely Imprison Immigrants Across Infinite Number Of Multiverses https://theonion.com/ice-opens-interdimensional-detention-center-to-indefini-1837476700/
Reposted by Gem Borealis
Yet another tragedy they're trying to blame on trans people.
January 8, 2026 at 1:26 AM
Yet another tragedy they're trying to blame on trans people.
Reposted by Gem Borealis
ICE Vows To Restore Order Using Whatever Force Unnecessary
January 7, 2026 at 9:30 PM
ICE Vows To Restore Order Using Whatever Force Unnecessary
Reposted by Gem Borealis
NASA Discovers Distant Planet With Conditions That Could Sustain Rocks https://theonion.com/nasa-discovers-distant-planet-with-conditions-that-could-sustain-rocks/
January 6, 2026 at 9:15 PM
NASA Discovers Distant Planet With Conditions That Could Sustain Rocks https://theonion.com/nasa-discovers-distant-planet-with-conditions-that-could-sustain-rocks/
Reposted by Gem Borealis
Mark Kelly Punished With Expulsion To Outer Space
January 6, 2026 at 7:00 PM
Mark Kelly Punished With Expulsion To Outer Space
Reposted by Gem Borealis
Nicolás Maduro Charged With Felony Oil Possession
January 5, 2026 at 7:00 PM
Nicolás Maduro Charged With Felony Oil Possession
Reposted by Gem Borealis
Panicked xAI Technicians Frantically Throw Levers To Find The One Controlling Grok’s Pedophilia https://theonion.com/panicked-xai-technicians-frantically-throw-levers-to-find-the-one-controlling-groks-pedophilia/
January 5, 2026 at 5:52 PM
Panicked xAI Technicians Frantically Throw Levers To Find The One Controlling Grok’s Pedophilia https://theonion.com/panicked-xai-technicians-frantically-throw-levers-to-find-the-one-controlling-groks-pedophilia/
Reposted by Gem Borealis
CIA Orchestrates Coup D’État To Replace Entire Population Of Venezuela theonion.com/cia-orchestr...
January 3, 2026 at 6:50 PM
CIA Orchestrates Coup D’État To Replace Entire Population Of Venezuela theonion.com/cia-orchestr...
Reposted by Gem Borealis
Study Finds 93% Of Murders Solved By Consulting Victim’s Pet Parrot https://theonion.com/study-finds-93-of-murders-solved-by-consulting-victims-pet-parrot/
January 2, 2026 at 7:00 PM
Study Finds 93% Of Murders Solved By Consulting Victim’s Pet Parrot https://theonion.com/study-finds-93-of-murders-solved-by-consulting-victims-pet-parrot/