Eli 🍉🐍🦃
@darkbluemint.bsky.social
Happy are the beloved and the lovers and those who can live without love
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Real life archeologist 🤠
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Genderfluid Knight, pronouns Ser/Commander
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Real life archeologist 🤠
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Genderfluid Knight, pronouns Ser/Commander
Pinned
Eli 🍉🐍🦃
@darkbluemint.bsky.social
· Nov 3
You can also find me at:
📚 archiveofourown.org/users/darkbluemint
🗨️ discordapp.com/users/darkbluemint
🐦 twitter.com/darkbluemint
🥃 darkbluemint.tumblr.com
📚 archiveofourown.org/users/darkbluemint
🗨️ discordapp.com/users/darkbluemint
🐦 twitter.com/darkbluemint
🥃 darkbluemint.tumblr.com
This week, I'm gonna have a new nephew... waiting patiently for him to decide
a man in a white shirt stands in front of a crowd wearing a hat that says bc
ALT: a man in a white shirt stands in front of a crowd wearing a hat that says bc
media.tenor.com
February 17, 2026 at 1:50 AM
This week, I'm gonna have a new nephew... waiting patiently for him to decide
#yunmengshuangjie #jinzixuan
Jin Zixuan: hi, I came to bail out my wife
Officer: she was with her brothers
Jin Zixuan: is there a discount if I pay for the three of them?
Jin Zixuan: hi, I came to bail out my wife
Officer: she was with her brothers
Jin Zixuan: is there a discount if I pay for the three of them?
#yunmengshuangjie #incorrectquotes
Jiang Cheng, entering the precinct: good night, I came to bail out my brother
Officer: which one is your brother?
Jiang Cheng: oh, you must be new here
Jiang Cheng, entering the precinct: good night, I came to bail out my brother
Officer: which one is your brother?
Jiang Cheng: oh, you must be new here
February 11, 2026 at 6:50 PM
#yunmengshuangjie #jinzixuan
Jin Zixuan: hi, I came to bail out my wife
Officer: she was with her brothers
Jin Zixuan: is there a discount if I pay for the three of them?
Jin Zixuan: hi, I came to bail out my wife
Officer: she was with her brothers
Jin Zixuan: is there a discount if I pay for the three of them?
The fact that Alhaitham's birthday letter is basically him being Paimon's advisor... letting her know about her tests and studies
Mr "I don't like doing bothersome things", saw Paimon and went "but she's worth it"
Also, Paimon is a Vahumana student, it fits her
Mr "I don't like doing bothersome things", saw Paimon and went "but she's worth it"
Also, Paimon is a Vahumana student, it fits her
February 11, 2026 at 2:48 PM
The fact that Alhaitham's birthday letter is basically him being Paimon's advisor... letting her know about her tests and studies
Mr "I don't like doing bothersome things", saw Paimon and went "but she's worth it"
Also, Paimon is a Vahumana student, it fits her
Mr "I don't like doing bothersome things", saw Paimon and went "but she's worth it"
Also, Paimon is a Vahumana student, it fits her
Everyone is interested in Heated Rivalry and how good it is... and you, sitting quietly, remembering reading the Stucky fanfiction
February 11, 2026 at 2:44 PM
Everyone is interested in Heated Rivalry and how good it is... and you, sitting quietly, remembering reading the Stucky fanfiction
People need to stop calling weak men "small dick energy", cause I have been informed, by several straight women, that men with small dicks tend to supplement this deficiency with additional skills
January 30, 2026 at 10:51 AM
People need to stop calling weak men "small dick energy", cause I have been informed, by several straight women, that men with small dicks tend to supplement this deficiency with additional skills
So, I forgot my older sister calls her winter bush (not a plant) old grandpa
Older sister: old grandpa is officially dead, winter is over
Me, who has no grandfather alive: grandpa is dead? 😱
Older sister: ... Eli
Me, five minutes later, realizing: ohhhhhh
Older sister: old grandpa is officially dead, winter is over
Me, who has no grandfather alive: grandpa is dead? 😱
Older sister: ... Eli
Me, five minutes later, realizing: ohhhhhh
January 30, 2026 at 10:44 AM
So, I forgot my older sister calls her winter bush (not a plant) old grandpa
Older sister: old grandpa is officially dead, winter is over
Me, who has no grandfather alive: grandpa is dead? 😱
Older sister: ... Eli
Me, five minutes later, realizing: ohhhhhh
Older sister: old grandpa is officially dead, winter is over
Me, who has no grandfather alive: grandpa is dead? 😱
Older sister: ... Eli
Me, five minutes later, realizing: ohhhhhh
Me, to my new Argentinian DM, slightly shy: I was wondering if I could play a warlock/paladin, who has a both a pact and is a follower of sailor moon
Argentinian DM: that's awesome! Do you mind if I tell the cleric? He was looking for a god
Argentinian DM: that's awesome! Do you mind if I tell the cleric? He was looking for a god
January 24, 2026 at 6:55 PM
Me, to my new Argentinian DM, slightly shy: I was wondering if I could play a warlock/paladin, who has a both a pact and is a follower of sailor moon
Argentinian DM: that's awesome! Do you mind if I tell the cleric? He was looking for a god
Argentinian DM: that's awesome! Do you mind if I tell the cleric? He was looking for a god
PSA, from a Minnesotan to the southies: water, you gonna gallons of water, battery powered radio, extra batteries flashlight, non perishables (peanut butter, eggs, cans, cookies, granola, rice, nothing that needs refrigeration), can opener! Thermal blanket, the emergency kind, hygiene products,
January 23, 2026 at 2:45 AM
PSA, from a Minnesotan to the southies: water, you gonna gallons of water, battery powered radio, extra batteries flashlight, non perishables (peanut butter, eggs, cans, cookies, granola, rice, nothing that needs refrigeration), can opener! Thermal blanket, the emergency kind, hygiene products,
And this is why I don't fear an AI apocalypse anymore
I'll still apologize to my toaster when I shout at it.... just in case
I'll still apologize to my toaster when I shout at it.... just in case
January 17, 2026 at 11:11 PM
And this is why I don't fear an AI apocalypse anymore
I'll still apologize to my toaster when I shout at it.... just in case
I'll still apologize to my toaster when I shout at it.... just in case
Reposted by Eli 🍉🐍🦃
Reposted by Eli 🍉🐍🦃
how’d he get in there…
January 17, 2026 at 7:39 PM
how’d he get in there…
The thing about living in a small city, and being a lesbian, is that I either already met most of the women on the app... or they're women looking for a third with their boyfriend
They get really quiet when I tell them that I'm up for pegging their boyfriends
They get really quiet when I tell them that I'm up for pegging their boyfriends
January 17, 2026 at 11:07 PM
The thing about living in a small city, and being a lesbian, is that I either already met most of the women on the app... or they're women looking for a third with their boyfriend
They get really quiet when I tell them that I'm up for pegging their boyfriends
They get really quiet when I tell them that I'm up for pegging their boyfriends
Not buying it is the better---
Ohhh, you mean stealing it and throwing it in the garbage, that's better
Ohhh, you mean stealing it and throwing it in the garbage, that's better
"never judge a book by its cover" unless it's AI generated, then you should judge it very hard and throw it in the garbage
January 8, 2026 at 11:49 PM
Not buying it is the better---
Ohhh, you mean stealing it and throwing it in the garbage, that's better
Ohhh, you mean stealing it and throwing it in the garbage, that's better
My eyes are getting more fucked up, had to stop playing games cause I could barely read the text... and I'm not doing so hot reading up close either
January 8, 2026 at 11:01 PM
My eyes are getting more fucked up, had to stop playing games cause I could barely read the text... and I'm not doing so hot reading up close either
Everyone should have a twin brother
January 6, 2026 at 11:53 PM
Everyone should have a twin brother
I know that Maduro was a fucking piece of shit... still I apologize profusely for what my country did* in Venezuela
*Or might do
*Or might do
January 4, 2026 at 3:54 AM
I know that Maduro was a fucking piece of shit... still I apologize profusely for what my country did* in Venezuela
*Or might do
*Or might do
Everyone: you're going to spend Christmas alone 🥺
Me, a social introvert:
Me, a social introvert:
a man is jumping in the air in a living room .
ALT: a man is jumping in the air in a living room .
media.tenor.com
December 24, 2025 at 6:03 PM
Everyone: you're going to spend Christmas alone 🥺
Me, a social introvert:
Me, a social introvert:
Me: my depression is getting worse 😔
My mom, an educated woman: maybe you should stop taking your meds, I mean, they're obviously not working
Siblings, also in the chat: *windows error sound*
Mom: maybe I should go and visit you!
Sister: mom, you're breaking up, are you going through a tunnel?
My mom, an educated woman: maybe you should stop taking your meds, I mean, they're obviously not working
Siblings, also in the chat: *windows error sound*
Mom: maybe I should go and visit you!
Sister: mom, you're breaking up, are you going through a tunnel?
December 24, 2025 at 9:55 AM
Me: my depression is getting worse 😔
My mom, an educated woman: maybe you should stop taking your meds, I mean, they're obviously not working
Siblings, also in the chat: *windows error sound*
Mom: maybe I should go and visit you!
Sister: mom, you're breaking up, are you going through a tunnel?
My mom, an educated woman: maybe you should stop taking your meds, I mean, they're obviously not working
Siblings, also in the chat: *windows error sound*
Mom: maybe I should go and visit you!
Sister: mom, you're breaking up, are you going through a tunnel?
Reposted by Eli 🍉🐍🦃
Gamers. It’s time
December 24, 2025 at 4:16 AM
Gamers. It’s time
Reposted by Eli 🍉🐍🦃
FLAT FUCK IS COMING TO TOWN!!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS GATOR LOVERS!!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS GATOR LOVERS!!
December 19, 2025 at 3:38 PM
FLAT FUCK IS COMING TO TOWN!!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS GATOR LOVERS!!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS GATOR LOVERS!!
Today is a good day to learn that your dad almost (accidentally) killed you and your twin when you were 8 months old
Like, really mom? We didn't need that story! I already have enough to unpack on therapy!
Like, really mom? We didn't need that story! I already have enough to unpack on therapy!
December 9, 2025 at 10:23 PM
Today is a good day to learn that your dad almost (accidentally) killed you and your twin when you were 8 months old
Like, really mom? We didn't need that story! I already have enough to unpack on therapy!
Like, really mom? We didn't need that story! I already have enough to unpack on therapy!
Broke three toes, at work, I had to fight with people to be allowed to work from home
My siblings think I should've taken the leave, but I've depression, I need structure y'all
My siblings think I should've taken the leave, but I've depression, I need structure y'all
December 1, 2025 at 5:20 PM
Broke three toes, at work, I had to fight with people to be allowed to work from home
My siblings think I should've taken the leave, but I've depression, I need structure y'all
My siblings think I should've taken the leave, but I've depression, I need structure y'all
Reposted by Eli 🍉🐍🦃
Me, checking the woods after the rain: I'm sure nothing bad will happen
Me, returning to my cabin covered in mud and pine needles: well, that happened
Me, returning to my cabin covered in mud and pine needles: well, that happened
November 21, 2025 at 9:11 PM
Me, checking the woods after the rain: I'm sure nothing bad will happen
Me, returning to my cabin covered in mud and pine needles: well, that happened
Me, returning to my cabin covered in mud and pine needles: well, that happened
Sense of humor, on point:
November 20, 2025 at 8:45 AM
Sense of humor, on point: