Darren Mart 🐶
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darrenmart.bsky.social
Darren Mart 🐶
@darrenmart.bsky.social
Software engineer near Seattle. INFJ. Francophile. Love my wife, stepkiddos, dogs, pineapple on pizza, retro gaming, learning new things. If you're MAGA the door's over there. 👉
Pinned
A 🧵 to remind myself:

In 2016 I took an extended trip to France. I'd been learning the language for ~2 years and thought it'd be a great way to gauge my progress. I had visions of spontaneous conversations with French natives at cafes and museums. I was going to be the charming American.
1/
Stepdaughter had some sort of nervous breakdown at school today so we made a call: no screens/phones tonight, just hang w/ us. Her mood and conversation were the best we've seen in months; we all had a great night.

Common-sense takeaway: parenting ain't giving 'em what they want but what they need.
December 5, 2025 at 4:50 AM
I am so so so so so so so sick of the Cowboys getting favorable calls. That was ABSOLUTELY a safety and this is total bullshit.
December 5, 2025 at 1:42 AM
Lots of people sharing their Spotify Wrapped so I'll join in:
December 4, 2025 at 10:20 PM
My very large, stuffy, process-obsessed company just hosted a co-founder of a very successful startup. Loved seeing my colleagues' startled reactions when he'd answer, "We don't have a process for that, when someone has a good idea we say fuck yeah, let's go!"
December 4, 2025 at 6:35 PM
Wow, huge news if true. The craziest thing about the January 6 pipe bomber is that Donald Trump raped kids and has faced no consequences for it. Today's a great day to hear from Epstein whistleblowers.
December 4, 2025 at 4:52 PM
This hamster wheel, every damn day. [X] is guilty of [Y] which is a crime of severity [Z], but [X] will face no consequences because [bullshit institutional loophole]. Futile calls for resignations, dangled carrots of investigations, tepid statements by spineless Dems. So. Damn. Exhausting.
a hamster is standing in a clear plastic cage .
Alt: a hamster is running in a clear plastic wheel
media.tenor.com
December 4, 2025 at 1:16 AM
I'm not even sure what I'm looking at in this photo from Epstein Island but it's chilling. Even if I came up with the most repulsive theory imaginable, something tells me the reality is even worse.
December 3, 2025 at 6:59 PM
We finally saw the Everybody Loves Raymond reunion and enjoyed it, though my wife's a realtor and it killed her that they hadn't updated their house for 30 years.
December 3, 2025 at 1:04 PM
"I need a bowl of chili."

This was a post on Discover Feed that got 100+ likes. Meanwhile, almost everyone I know from Post routinely shares insightful things only to remain comparatively invisible.

I'm sick of it. Social media will be sewage as long as we ignore substance and reward low effort.
December 3, 2025 at 6:35 AM
Getting our oven replaced. The dust and dog hair wasn't a surprise but four cat toys? What the hell has Daphne been doing?
December 2, 2025 at 5:28 PM
I'm so frustrated. Google requires 12 people to opt-in to "closed testing" Android apps for 14 days. But if I seek volunteers on Reddit/Discord I get the smackdown for "self-promotion". My app is free/ad-free, I don't make a penny.

It shouldn't be this hard for indie devs to accomplish something. 🤬
December 2, 2025 at 1:39 AM
I'm not sure but it seems like Rodney Harrison just had a mini-stroke on live TV. In my 20s I had a few of those types of strokes where I suddenly couldn't complete a thought or sentence. Could be 100% wrong.
December 1, 2025 at 12:41 AM
You deserve someone who looks at you the way Murphy looks at me when I'm on the couch.
November 30, 2025 at 7:20 PM
Android users: I'm seeking volunteers to help get my app on Play Store. Not much effort needed, just opt-in to "testing" and keep the app installed for 14 days (Google requirement). Please DM me if you'd like to help!

"Puparazzi" is super-simple: take pics of pups, "unlock" breeds, and earn medals.
November 30, 2025 at 12:24 AM
Decided to try the original Kingdom Come: Deliverance. It's a real treat for medieval period-loving nerds like me. It's not about dragons, it's about hyper-realism i.e. you need to manage your food, sleep, equipment, etc. And now I found a tavern where you can play dice in the glow of a torch. ❤️
November 29, 2025 at 2:37 PM
Selling Sunset is a ridiculous show with lots of terrible people, but I just saw an episode where they held a full-scale funeral for a pup that passed away and I was legit choked up.

I'll say it again, dogs are the greatest equalizers.
November 29, 2025 at 2:40 AM
Angry Eagles game here tipping my hat to the Bears and their fans. You kicked our listless asses and y'all deserve a playoff run.
a man with a mustache looks at the camera
Alt: a man with a mustache and suit tips his hat out of respect
media.tenor.com
November 28, 2025 at 11:09 PM
Back from Thanksgiving w/ extended family, decompression begins. One person has clearly hated me for years, today was no exception. I finally got the nerve to ask my wife, "What's her deal?" Turns out she's a "major Trumplican".

It all makes sense, now I can stop worrying. It's a badge of honor. 🏅
November 28, 2025 at 3:10 AM
Looks like I'll have to stay off Bluesky to avoid Stranger Things spoilers. See you Saturday I guess? Happy Thanksgiving! 🦃
November 27, 2025 at 2:06 AM
PSA: "parody" and "satire" are not interchangeable terms even if media outlets don't understand the difference.

Also, it's time for Epstein whistleblowers to speak up.
November 26, 2025 at 3:05 PM
(no spoilers)

Loved the new Pluribus tonight, the cinematography is just impeccable. The only not-really-specific thing I'll say is I have no idea what to think of that ending and I love that I have no idea. Really fun series so far.
November 26, 2025 at 7:07 AM
Random rant: I'm so tired of people who bash anything that's popular b/c it makes them feel smarter (or more refined or whatever) than the rest of us. I'm seeing this EVERYWHERE whether it's re: TV, games, movies, food — anything that brings joy. DON'T STEAL JOY. We're all barely hanging on here.
November 25, 2025 at 10:01 PM
Potential whistleblowers who have seen the unredacted Epstein files: it's time to do the right thing. These last few weeks you've had all the political cover and momentum you could ask for, but the country has a short attention span and holidays are here.

Make history and share what you know.
November 25, 2025 at 5:42 PM
I feel so sorry for the idiots who ordered this piss-colored Samsung knockoff.

Phones, sneakers, cologne, steaks, digital cards, coins, vodka, bibles, a university... but nah, it's not a cult.
Trump Phone Is Nowhere to Be Seen 3 Months After Release Date
The Trump-branded T1 device has not yet materialized, though customers were promised it would be available in August.
www.thedailybeast.com
November 25, 2025 at 11:20 AM
Wife and I both getting sick — again — because schools are just germ factories. We're gonna order pho a bit later which leads me to my question: why does pho taste 600% better when you're sick? Yes, I know I could Google it, just making conversation.
November 24, 2025 at 10:32 PM