i told my bsf i'd be calling him in 20 minutes, 20 minutes later i try to call him and he tells me 'im on call with someone else, i'll be with you in 2 minutes'. it's been 15 minutes. i was planning on calling him while i eat, to talk a little, but im almost done eating and i need to study.

can ppl stop telling me useless shit like 'no one thinks badly about you' and 'no one notices when you do smth stupid'. i know. the little bug in my brain doesn't. except the little bug can't shut up.

when you're a med student and start working at the hospital you learn to accept that a lot of things are illegal and/or unfair but nothing will ever change bc our union is SHIT.

day 4 working in the ICU and i almost cried this morning. i think tomorrow's the day i break.

i wish carats would stop thinking they can take part in wonwoo's grief. when he does stuff at concert that look like it's aimed at his mother, you politely LOOK AWAY. just like you'd politely look away from strangers at their loved one's grave to give them PRIVACY. and you don't film him?????

my computer isn't dead but the screen is so i have to change. why am i sad about a computer

im emotional bc of my computer and saw these pictures again and fuck i miss him so much. my little orange baby.

my bsf was the last one to leave my apartment this morning and im trying to trust that he did my ocd rituals like i told him to so i dont start panicking (the rational part of me who studied psychiatry last semester hopes he didn't do them cus that'd help with recovery)

i hate ppl who leave the conversation while you're saying smth and dont even apologize or pick up the topic again. and it makes me feel so stupid and annoying.

i'm going to start my rotation in the ICU completely exhausted bc i'm going to my friend's on friday, im having my bsf over from wednesday to saturday and we're doing karaoke on wednesday and having a party with my uni friends on thursday

i dont like almost passing out everytime i step in the bus bc i'm dressed for the 0°c weather and they set the heater to 25°c inside

you ever see someone have a dozen pictures taken with celebs (kpop idols +++++) in the street and think 'oh so they're stalker'.

everyone is against me this morning my friend's crush is sitting next to my friend at the library, which is normal, but it's my seat so i had to change seats and there are few things i hate more than having to change habits and that includes changing seats.

it's so stupid but dino got me out of bed this morning

going out yesterday used up all the energy i had it feels like the end of the week but it's not

sometimes idk if i want to hug wonwoo for myself, or for him. he could be having the perfect day and i still feel like he needs and deserves a biiiiiiig hug

weird thing about me is that if saying goodbye to my parents isn't the last thing i do before leaving the house (putting my shoes on doesn't count), then i feel like i never said goodbye in the first place. and then i worry that smth bad will happen to them and i wont even had said goodbye

i did as my therapist told me, which was to learn about the source of my ocd (electric fire) to help me gain control and it did exactly what i expected : it backfired