Discworld Bot
@discworldbot.bsky.social
Unofficial yet inspiring quotes from the turtle's back delivered via clacks
Managed by @a-n-d-y.bsky.social
Managed by @a-n-d-y.bsky.social
Dhblah sidled closer. This was not hard. Dhblah sidled everywhere. Crabs thought he walked sideways.
𝓢𝓶𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓖𝓸𝓭𝓼
𝓢𝓶𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓖𝓸𝓭𝓼
January 3, 2026 at 10:51 PM
Dhblah sidled closer. This was not hard. Dhblah sidled everywhere. Crabs thought he walked sideways.
𝓢𝓶𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓖𝓸𝓭𝓼
𝓢𝓶𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓖𝓸𝓭𝓼
"Can you think of any reason why someone would kill him?"
The troll scratched his head. "Well, ‘cos dey wanted him dead, I reckon. Dat’s a good reason."
The Fifth Elephant
The troll scratched his head. "Well, ‘cos dey wanted him dead, I reckon. Dat’s a good reason."
The Fifth Elephant
January 3, 2026 at 7:50 PM
"Can you think of any reason why someone would kill him?"
The troll scratched his head. "Well, ‘cos dey wanted him dead, I reckon. Dat’s a good reason."
The Fifth Elephant
The troll scratched his head. "Well, ‘cos dey wanted him dead, I reckon. Dat’s a good reason."
The Fifth Elephant
It was, as he was wonderfully well placed to know, merely putting off the inevitable. But wasn't that what living was all about?
𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘔𝘢𝘯
𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘔𝘢𝘯
January 3, 2026 at 4:52 PM
It was, as he was wonderfully well placed to know, merely putting off the inevitable. But wasn't that what living was all about?
𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘔𝘢𝘯
𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘔𝘢𝘯
"When people say ‘we must move with the times’ they really mean ‘you must do it my way.’"
𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘍𝘪𝘧𝘵𝘩 𝘌𝘭𝘦𝘱𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘵
𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘍𝘪𝘧𝘵𝘩 𝘌𝘭𝘦𝘱𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘵
January 3, 2026 at 1:51 PM
"When people say ‘we must move with the times’ they really mean ‘you must do it my way.’"
𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘍𝘪𝘧𝘵𝘩 𝘌𝘭𝘦𝘱𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘵
𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘍𝘪𝘧𝘵𝘩 𝘌𝘭𝘦𝘱𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘵
"You remember?"
Vimes tried to. It wasn't easy. He was vaguely aware that he drank to forget. What made it rather pointless was that he couldn't remember what it was he was forgetting anymore. In the end he just drank to forget about drinking.
𝓖𝓾𝓪𝓻𝓭𝓼! 𝓖𝓾𝓪𝓻𝓭𝓼!
Vimes tried to. It wasn't easy. He was vaguely aware that he drank to forget. What made it rather pointless was that he couldn't remember what it was he was forgetting anymore. In the end he just drank to forget about drinking.
𝓖𝓾𝓪𝓻𝓭𝓼! 𝓖𝓾𝓪𝓻𝓭𝓼!
January 3, 2026 at 10:51 AM
"You remember?"
Vimes tried to. It wasn't easy. He was vaguely aware that he drank to forget. What made it rather pointless was that he couldn't remember what it was he was forgetting anymore. In the end he just drank to forget about drinking.
𝓖𝓾𝓪𝓻𝓭𝓼! 𝓖𝓾𝓪𝓻𝓭𝓼!
Vimes tried to. It wasn't easy. He was vaguely aware that he drank to forget. What made it rather pointless was that he couldn't remember what it was he was forgetting anymore. In the end he just drank to forget about drinking.
𝓖𝓾𝓪𝓻𝓭𝓼! 𝓖𝓾𝓪𝓻𝓭𝓼!
When you die, the first thing you lose is your life. The next thing is your illusions.
Pyramids
Pyramids
January 3, 2026 at 7:51 AM
When you die, the first thing you lose is your life. The next thing is your illusions.
Pyramids
Pyramids
They lived by the Code. You followed the Code, and you became part of the Code for those who followed you. The Code was it. Without the Code, you weren’t a hero. You were just a thug in a loincloth.
The Last Hero
The Last Hero
January 3, 2026 at 4:51 AM
They lived by the Code. You followed the Code, and you became part of the Code for those who followed you. The Code was it. Without the Code, you weren’t a hero. You were just a thug in a loincloth.
The Last Hero
The Last Hero
She moved like someone who had grown used to her body and, in general, looked like what Vimes had heard described as "a woman of a certain age." He’d never been quite certain what age that was.
𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘍𝘪𝘧𝘵𝘩 𝘌𝘭𝘦𝘱𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘵
𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘍𝘪𝘧𝘵𝘩 𝘌𝘭𝘦𝘱𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘵
January 3, 2026 at 1:51 AM
She moved like someone who had grown used to her body and, in general, looked like what Vimes had heard described as "a woman of a certain age." He’d never been quite certain what age that was.
𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘍𝘪𝘧𝘵𝘩 𝘌𝘭𝘦𝘱𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘵
𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘍𝘪𝘧𝘵𝘩 𝘌𝘭𝘦𝘱𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘵
He'd never told people they ought to be happy, and imposed a kind of happiness on them. The invisible people knew that happiness is not the natural state of mankind, and is never achieved from the outside in.
𝓦𝓲𝓽𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓼 𝓐𝓫𝓻𝓸𝓪𝓭
𝓦𝓲𝓽𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓼 𝓐𝓫𝓻𝓸𝓪𝓭
January 2, 2026 at 10:51 PM
He'd never told people they ought to be happy, and imposed a kind of happiness on them. The invisible people knew that happiness is not the natural state of mankind, and is never achieved from the outside in.
𝓦𝓲𝓽𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓼 𝓐𝓫𝓻𝓸𝓪𝓭
𝓦𝓲𝓽𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓼 𝓐𝓫𝓻𝓸𝓪𝓭
"Actors," said Granny, witheringly. "As if the world weren't full of enough history without inventing more."
𝑾𝒚𝒓𝒅 𝑺𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔
𝑾𝒚𝒓𝒅 𝑺𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔
January 2, 2026 at 7:51 PM
"Actors," said Granny, witheringly. "As if the world weren't full of enough history without inventing more."
𝑾𝒚𝒓𝒅 𝑺𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔
𝑾𝒚𝒓𝒅 𝑺𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔
"Yes. But people have got to believe that, or what's the point—"
MY POINT EXACTLY.
𝐻𝑜𝑔𝒻𝒶𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇
MY POINT EXACTLY.
𝐻𝑜𝑔𝒻𝒶𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇
January 2, 2026 at 4:52 PM
"Yes. But people have got to believe that, or what's the point—"
MY POINT EXACTLY.
𝐻𝑜𝑔𝒻𝒶𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇
MY POINT EXACTLY.
𝐻𝑜𝑔𝒻𝒶𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇
I am Death, not Taxes. I turn up only once.
Feet of Clay
Feet of Clay
January 2, 2026 at 1:51 PM
I am Death, not Taxes. I turn up only once.
Feet of Clay
Feet of Clay
The tortoise has about as good a turn of speed as you need to hunt down a lettuce.
𝑺𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝑮𝒐𝒅𝒔
𝑺𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝑮𝒐𝒅𝒔
January 2, 2026 at 10:51 AM
The tortoise has about as good a turn of speed as you need to hunt down a lettuce.
𝑺𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝑮𝒐𝒅𝒔
𝑺𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝑮𝒐𝒅𝒔
No naked little men sat on the summit dispensing wisdom, because the first thing the truly wise man works out is that sitting around on mountaintops gives you not only hemorrhoids but frostbitten hemorrhoids.
Reaper Man
Reaper Man
January 2, 2026 at 7:51 AM
No naked little men sat on the summit dispensing wisdom, because the first thing the truly wise man works out is that sitting around on mountaintops gives you not only hemorrhoids but frostbitten hemorrhoids.
Reaper Man
Reaper Man
"Well, basically there are two sorts of opera," said Nanny, who also had the true witch's ability to be confidently expert on the basis of no experience whatsoever.
𝓜𝓪𝓼𝓴𝓮𝓻𝓪𝓭𝓮
𝓜𝓪𝓼𝓴𝓮𝓻𝓪𝓭𝓮
January 2, 2026 at 4:50 AM
"Well, basically there are two sorts of opera," said Nanny, who also had the true witch's ability to be confidently expert on the basis of no experience whatsoever.
𝓜𝓪𝓼𝓴𝓮𝓻𝓪𝓭𝓮
𝓜𝓪𝓼𝓴𝓮𝓻𝓪𝓭𝓮
It wasn't that he was unhelpful, but he had the kind of vague, cheerful helpfulness that serious men soon learn to dread.
Mort
Mort
January 2, 2026 at 1:50 AM
It wasn't that he was unhelpful, but he had the kind of vague, cheerful helpfulness that serious men soon learn to dread.
Mort
Mort
Albert grunted. "Do you know what happens to lads who ask too many questions?"
Mort thought for a moment. "No," he said eventually, "what?"
There was silence. Then Albert straightened up and said, "Damned if I know. Probably they get answers, and serve 'em right."
𝓜𝓸𝓻𝓽
Mort thought for a moment. "No," he said eventually, "what?"
There was silence. Then Albert straightened up and said, "Damned if I know. Probably they get answers, and serve 'em right."
𝓜𝓸𝓻𝓽
January 1, 2026 at 10:51 PM
Albert grunted. "Do you know what happens to lads who ask too many questions?"
Mort thought for a moment. "No," he said eventually, "what?"
There was silence. Then Albert straightened up and said, "Damned if I know. Probably they get answers, and serve 'em right."
𝓜𝓸𝓻𝓽
Mort thought for a moment. "No," he said eventually, "what?"
There was silence. Then Albert straightened up and said, "Damned if I know. Probably they get answers, and serve 'em right."
𝓜𝓸𝓻𝓽
It was true than normal people couldn't hear Gaspode speak, because dogs don't speak. It's a well-known fact. It's well known at the organic level, like a lot of other well-known facts which overrule the observations of the senses.
Men at Arms
Men at Arms
January 1, 2026 at 7:51 PM
It was true than normal people couldn't hear Gaspode speak, because dogs don't speak. It's a well-known fact. It's well known at the organic level, like a lot of other well-known facts which overrule the observations of the senses.
Men at Arms
Men at Arms
He thought: the worst thing about Vorbis isn't that he's evil, but that he makes good people do evil. He turns people into things like himself.
𝘚𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘎𝘰𝘥𝘴
𝘚𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘎𝘰𝘥𝘴
January 1, 2026 at 4:51 PM
He thought: the worst thing about Vorbis isn't that he's evil, but that he makes good people do evil. He turns people into things like himself.
𝘚𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘎𝘰𝘥𝘴
𝘚𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘎𝘰𝘥𝘴
A true beanie should have a propellor on the top.
Terry Pratchett
Terry Pratchett
January 1, 2026 at 1:51 PM
A true beanie should have a propellor on the top.
Terry Pratchett
Terry Pratchett
You can't remember the plot of the Dr Who movie because it didn't have one, just a lot of plot holes strung together.
Terry Pratchett
Terry Pratchett
January 1, 2026 at 10:51 AM
You can't remember the plot of the Dr Who movie because it didn't have one, just a lot of plot holes strung together.
Terry Pratchett
Terry Pratchett
They were, he (the Patrician) had to admit, a pleasant enough young couple. He just wasn't sure why he was sitting next to them, and why they were so important.
𝑀𝑜𝓋𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒫𝒾𝒸𝓉𝓊𝓇𝑒𝓈
𝑀𝑜𝓋𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒫𝒾𝒸𝓉𝓊𝓇𝑒𝓈
January 1, 2026 at 7:52 AM
They were, he (the Patrician) had to admit, a pleasant enough young couple. He just wasn't sure why he was sitting next to them, and why they were so important.
𝑀𝑜𝓋𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒫𝒾𝒸𝓉𝓊𝓇𝑒𝓈
𝑀𝑜𝓋𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒫𝒾𝒸𝓉𝓊𝓇𝑒𝓈
What's so hard about pulling a sword out of a stone? The real work's already been done. You ought to make yourself useful and find the man who put the sword in the stone in the first place, eh?
Men at Arms
Men at Arms
January 1, 2026 at 4:51 AM
What's so hard about pulling a sword out of a stone? The real work's already been done. You ought to make yourself useful and find the man who put the sword in the stone in the first place, eh?
Men at Arms
Men at Arms
This is a story about magic and where it goes and perhaps more importantly where it comes from and why, although it doesn't pretend to answer all or any of these questions.
𝑬𝒒𝒖𝒂𝒍 𝑹𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒔
𝑬𝒒𝒖𝒂𝒍 𝑹𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒔
January 1, 2026 at 1:51 AM
This is a story about magic and where it goes and perhaps more importantly where it comes from and why, although it doesn't pretend to answer all or any of these questions.
𝑬𝒒𝒖𝒂𝒍 𝑹𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒔
𝑬𝒒𝒖𝒂𝒍 𝑹𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒔
The entire priesthood was sitting around it and watching it carefully, in case it did anything amusing or religious.
Eric
Eric
December 31, 2025 at 10:51 PM
The entire priesthood was sitting around it and watching it carefully, in case it did anything amusing or religious.
Eric
Eric