Discworld Bot
@discworldbot.bsky.social
Unofficial yet inspiring quotes from the turtle's back delivered via clacks
Managed by @a-n-d-y.bsky.social
Managed by @a-n-d-y.bsky.social
Albert grunted. "Do you know what happens to lads who ask too many questions?"
Mort thought for a moment. "No," he said eventually, "what?"
There was silence. Then Albert straightened up and said, "Damned if I know. Probably they get answers, and serve 'em right."
𝓜𝓸𝓻𝓽
Mort thought for a moment. "No," he said eventually, "what?"
There was silence. Then Albert straightened up and said, "Damned if I know. Probably they get answers, and serve 'em right."
𝓜𝓸𝓻𝓽
January 1, 2026 at 10:51 PM
Albert grunted. "Do you know what happens to lads who ask too many questions?"
Mort thought for a moment. "No," he said eventually, "what?"
There was silence. Then Albert straightened up and said, "Damned if I know. Probably they get answers, and serve 'em right."
𝓜𝓸𝓻𝓽
Mort thought for a moment. "No," he said eventually, "what?"
There was silence. Then Albert straightened up and said, "Damned if I know. Probably they get answers, and serve 'em right."
𝓜𝓸𝓻𝓽
It was true than normal people couldn't hear Gaspode speak, because dogs don't speak. It's a well-known fact. It's well known at the organic level, like a lot of other well-known facts which overrule the observations of the senses.
Men at Arms
Men at Arms
January 1, 2026 at 7:51 PM
It was true than normal people couldn't hear Gaspode speak, because dogs don't speak. It's a well-known fact. It's well known at the organic level, like a lot of other well-known facts which overrule the observations of the senses.
Men at Arms
Men at Arms
He thought: the worst thing about Vorbis isn't that he's evil, but that he makes good people do evil. He turns people into things like himself.
𝘚𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘎𝘰𝘥𝘴
𝘚𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘎𝘰𝘥𝘴
January 1, 2026 at 4:51 PM
He thought: the worst thing about Vorbis isn't that he's evil, but that he makes good people do evil. He turns people into things like himself.
𝘚𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘎𝘰𝘥𝘴
𝘚𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘎𝘰𝘥𝘴
A true beanie should have a propellor on the top.
Terry Pratchett
Terry Pratchett
January 1, 2026 at 1:51 PM
A true beanie should have a propellor on the top.
Terry Pratchett
Terry Pratchett
You can't remember the plot of the Dr Who movie because it didn't have one, just a lot of plot holes strung together.
Terry Pratchett
Terry Pratchett
January 1, 2026 at 10:51 AM
You can't remember the plot of the Dr Who movie because it didn't have one, just a lot of plot holes strung together.
Terry Pratchett
Terry Pratchett
They were, he (the Patrician) had to admit, a pleasant enough young couple. He just wasn't sure why he was sitting next to them, and why they were so important.
𝑀𝑜𝓋𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒫𝒾𝒸𝓉𝓊𝓇𝑒𝓈
𝑀𝑜𝓋𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒫𝒾𝒸𝓉𝓊𝓇𝑒𝓈
January 1, 2026 at 7:52 AM
They were, he (the Patrician) had to admit, a pleasant enough young couple. He just wasn't sure why he was sitting next to them, and why they were so important.
𝑀𝑜𝓋𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒫𝒾𝒸𝓉𝓊𝓇𝑒𝓈
𝑀𝑜𝓋𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒫𝒾𝒸𝓉𝓊𝓇𝑒𝓈
What's so hard about pulling a sword out of a stone? The real work's already been done. You ought to make yourself useful and find the man who put the sword in the stone in the first place, eh?
Men at Arms
Men at Arms
January 1, 2026 at 4:51 AM
What's so hard about pulling a sword out of a stone? The real work's already been done. You ought to make yourself useful and find the man who put the sword in the stone in the first place, eh?
Men at Arms
Men at Arms
This is a story about magic and where it goes and perhaps more importantly where it comes from and why, although it doesn't pretend to answer all or any of these questions.
𝑬𝒒𝒖𝒂𝒍 𝑹𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒔
𝑬𝒒𝒖𝒂𝒍 𝑹𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒔
January 1, 2026 at 1:51 AM
This is a story about magic and where it goes and perhaps more importantly where it comes from and why, although it doesn't pretend to answer all or any of these questions.
𝑬𝒒𝒖𝒂𝒍 𝑹𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒔
𝑬𝒒𝒖𝒂𝒍 𝑹𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒔
The entire priesthood was sitting around it and watching it carefully, in case it did anything amusing or religious.
Eric
Eric
December 31, 2025 at 10:51 PM
The entire priesthood was sitting around it and watching it carefully, in case it did anything amusing or religious.
Eric
Eric
While evidence says that the road to Hell is paved with good intentions, they're probably all on first steps.
Hogfather
Hogfather
December 31, 2025 at 7:50 PM
While evidence says that the road to Hell is paved with good intentions, they're probably all on first steps.
Hogfather
Hogfather
"If you're going to suggest I try dropping twenty feet down a pitch dark tower in the hope of hitting a couple of greasy little steps which might not even still be there, you can forget it," said Rincewind sharply.
𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑳𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝑭𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄
𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑳𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝑭𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄
December 31, 2025 at 4:51 PM
"If you're going to suggest I try dropping twenty feet down a pitch dark tower in the hope of hitting a couple of greasy little steps which might not even still be there, you can forget it," said Rincewind sharply.
𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑳𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝑭𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄
𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑳𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝑭𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄
"What are you going to do when we get there?"
"I don't know," he said. "I was sort of hoping something would suggest itself at the time."
𝑴𝒐𝒓𝒕
"I don't know," he said. "I was sort of hoping something would suggest itself at the time."
𝑴𝒐𝒓𝒕
December 31, 2025 at 1:51 PM
"What are you going to do when we get there?"
"I don't know," he said. "I was sort of hoping something would suggest itself at the time."
𝑴𝒐𝒓𝒕
"I don't know," he said. "I was sort of hoping something would suggest itself at the time."
𝑴𝒐𝒓𝒕
Darkness isn't the opposite of light, it is simply its absence.
The Light Fantastic
The Light Fantastic
December 31, 2025 at 10:51 AM
Darkness isn't the opposite of light, it is simply its absence.
The Light Fantastic
The Light Fantastic
She had a number of stoutly-held views on a variety of subjects, but most of them involved the flaying alive of people she disapproved of. This meant most people under the age of thirty-five, to start with.
𝓟𝔂𝓻𝓪𝓶𝓲𝓭𝓼
𝓟𝔂𝓻𝓪𝓶𝓲𝓭𝓼
December 31, 2025 at 7:51 AM
She had a number of stoutly-held views on a variety of subjects, but most of them involved the flaying alive of people she disapproved of. This meant most people under the age of thirty-five, to start with.
𝓟𝔂𝓻𝓪𝓶𝓲𝓭𝓼
𝓟𝔂𝓻𝓪𝓶𝓲𝓭𝓼
In the village in the Ramtops where they understand what the Morris dance is all about, they dance it just once, at dawn, on the first day of spring. They don't dance it after that, all through the summer. After all, what would be the point?
𝓡𝓮𝓪𝓹𝓮𝓻 𝓜𝓪𝓷
𝓡𝓮𝓪𝓹𝓮𝓻 𝓜𝓪𝓷
December 31, 2025 at 4:51 AM
In the village in the Ramtops where they understand what the Morris dance is all about, they dance it just once, at dawn, on the first day of spring. They don't dance it after that, all through the summer. After all, what would be the point?
𝓡𝓮𝓪𝓹𝓮𝓻 𝓜𝓪𝓷
𝓡𝓮𝓪𝓹𝓮𝓻 𝓜𝓪𝓷
"How is his lordship?"
"Stable," said Littlebottom.
"Dead is stable," said Vimes.
𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓒𝓵𝓪𝔂
"Stable," said Littlebottom.
"Dead is stable," said Vimes.
𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓒𝓵𝓪𝔂
December 31, 2025 at 1:51 AM
"How is his lordship?"
"Stable," said Littlebottom.
"Dead is stable," said Vimes.
𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓒𝓵𝓪𝔂
"Stable," said Littlebottom.
"Dead is stable," said Vimes.
𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓒𝓵𝓪𝔂
After you'd known Christine for any length of time, you found yourself fighting a desire to look into her ear to see if you could spot daylight coming the other way.
𝘔𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘦
𝘔𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘦
December 30, 2025 at 10:51 PM
After you'd known Christine for any length of time, you found yourself fighting a desire to look into her ear to see if you could spot daylight coming the other way.
𝘔𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘦
𝘔𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘦
Vimes reached behind the desk and picked up a faded copy of Twurp's Peerage or, as he personally thought of it, the guide to the criminal classes. You wouldn't find slum-dwellers in these pages, but you would find their landlords.
𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓒𝓵𝓪𝔂
𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓒𝓵𝓪𝔂
December 30, 2025 at 7:50 PM
Vimes reached behind the desk and picked up a faded copy of Twurp's Peerage or, as he personally thought of it, the guide to the criminal classes. You wouldn't find slum-dwellers in these pages, but you would find their landlords.
𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓒𝓵𝓪𝔂
𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓒𝓵𝓪𝔂
"His wife’s told him a coat of arms is the thing to have, and who are we to argue with the daughter of a tripe merchant."
𝑭𝒆𝒆𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝑪𝒍𝒂𝒚
𝑭𝒆𝒆𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝑪𝒍𝒂𝒚
December 30, 2025 at 4:51 PM
"His wife’s told him a coat of arms is the thing to have, and who are we to argue with the daughter of a tripe merchant."
𝑭𝒆𝒆𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝑪𝒍𝒂𝒚
𝑭𝒆𝒆𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝑪𝒍𝒂𝒚
Although it was against his general principles, it was perhaps time to stop and think.
Interesting Times
Interesting Times
December 30, 2025 at 1:51 PM
Although it was against his general principles, it was perhaps time to stop and think.
Interesting Times
Interesting Times
"Carrot, I think you've got something wrong with your head," said Angua.
"What?"
"I think you may have got it stuck up your bum."
𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓒𝓵𝓪𝔂
"What?"
"I think you may have got it stuck up your bum."
𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓒𝓵𝓪𝔂
December 30, 2025 at 10:51 AM
"Carrot, I think you've got something wrong with your head," said Angua.
"What?"
"I think you may have got it stuck up your bum."
𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓒𝓵𝓪𝔂
"What?"
"I think you may have got it stuck up your bum."
𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓒𝓵𝓪𝔂
"You strong in your faith, then?" she said, as if she couldn’t leave things alone.
Oats sighed. "I try to be."
"But you read a lot of books, I’m thinking. Hard to have faith, ain’t it, when you read too many books."
𝓒𝓪𝓻𝓹𝓮 𝓙𝓾𝓰𝓾𝓵𝓾𝓶
Oats sighed. "I try to be."
"But you read a lot of books, I’m thinking. Hard to have faith, ain’t it, when you read too many books."
𝓒𝓪𝓻𝓹𝓮 𝓙𝓾𝓰𝓾𝓵𝓾𝓶
December 30, 2025 at 7:51 AM
"You strong in your faith, then?" she said, as if she couldn’t leave things alone.
Oats sighed. "I try to be."
"But you read a lot of books, I’m thinking. Hard to have faith, ain’t it, when you read too many books."
𝓒𝓪𝓻𝓹𝓮 𝓙𝓾𝓰𝓾𝓵𝓾𝓶
Oats sighed. "I try to be."
"But you read a lot of books, I’m thinking. Hard to have faith, ain’t it, when you read too many books."
𝓒𝓪𝓻𝓹𝓮 𝓙𝓾𝓰𝓾𝓵𝓾𝓶
Putting up a statue to someone who tried to stop a war is not very, um, statuesque. Of course, if you had butchered five hundred of your own men out of arrogant carelessness, we'd be melting the bronze already.
𝘑𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘰
𝘑𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘰
December 30, 2025 at 4:51 AM
Putting up a statue to someone who tried to stop a war is not very, um, statuesque. Of course, if you had butchered five hundred of your own men out of arrogant carelessness, we'd be melting the bronze already.
𝘑𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘰
𝘑𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘰
It demonstrates the friendly alliance between the University and the civil government which, I may say, seems to consist of their promising to do anything we ask provided we promise not to ask them to do anything.
𝓙𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓸
𝓙𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓸
December 30, 2025 at 1:51 AM
It demonstrates the friendly alliance between the University and the civil government which, I may say, seems to consist of their promising to do anything we ask provided we promise not to ask them to do anything.
𝓙𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓸
𝓙𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓸
Although it was against his general principles, it was perhaps time to stop and think.
𝑰𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑻𝒊𝒎𝒆𝒔
𝑰𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑻𝒊𝒎𝒆𝒔
December 29, 2025 at 10:51 PM
Although it was against his general principles, it was perhaps time to stop and think.
𝑰𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑻𝒊𝒎𝒆𝒔
𝑰𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑻𝒊𝒎𝒆𝒔