Uncle Bob
@djjimmydee.bsky.social
Former writer for Television Without Pity. Chili Dog Eating champion, Alabama State Fair (1997). Current owner of The Music Guys DJ Services. Love to make pizza and clean my ceiling fans.
If you ever find yourself entertaining the idea of having a sexual fantasy about me, please note for the record I have an extremely flat ass. I’m talkin” F-L-A-T. So as you get yourself worked up in your fantasy about me when you go to squeeze my ass gently, it will feel like two melting notebooks.
December 12, 2025 at 4:41 AM
If you ever find yourself entertaining the idea of having a sexual fantasy about me, please note for the record I have an extremely flat ass. I’m talkin” F-L-A-T. So as you get yourself worked up in your fantasy about me when you go to squeeze my ass gently, it will feel like two melting notebooks.
I have a fantasy. Someday Trump gets tripped up and exposed for the charlatan he is. All of MAGA turns on him and says we were right all along. I have another fantasy which includes a Filipino midget in a maid’s costume and stained sheets.
December 9, 2025 at 1:29 PM
I have a fantasy. Someday Trump gets tripped up and exposed for the charlatan he is. All of MAGA turns on him and says we were right all along. I have another fantasy which includes a Filipino midget in a maid’s costume and stained sheets.
I’m honored to have been selected as the first recipient of the Bill Bledsoe Peace Prize given by ol’ Bill himself. Goofy old coot woke up yesterday and started handing out Peace Prizes. I’m wearing mine with pride like a bitch.
December 6, 2025 at 9:23 PM
I’m honored to have been selected as the first recipient of the Bill Bledsoe Peace Prize given by ol’ Bill himself. Goofy old coot woke up yesterday and started handing out Peace Prizes. I’m wearing mine with pride like a bitch.
As long as Pringles exist, I can see me having weight “issues”.
December 6, 2025 at 9:11 PM
As long as Pringles exist, I can see me having weight “issues”.
Reposted by Uncle Bob
I despise Thanksgiving dinner. I’d rather eat hairball soup than turkey.
November 27, 2025 at 11:38 PM
I despise Thanksgiving dinner. I’d rather eat hairball soup than turkey.
Reposted by Uncle Bob
If the President doesn’t want to be called a Russian asset, perhaps he should stop acting like a Russian asset.
November 26, 2025 at 9:00 AM
If the President doesn’t want to be called a Russian asset, perhaps he should stop acting like a Russian asset.
Where's this Rainbow Bridge that everyone takes their sick pets to? My cat won't stop shitting on my bathmat.
November 27, 2025 at 1:49 PM
Where's this Rainbow Bridge that everyone takes their sick pets to? My cat won't stop shitting on my bathmat.
Reposted by Uncle Bob
Reposted by Uncle Bob
Donald Trump is a thief, a child molester, and a traitor. He's currently selling this country's future to Vladimir Putin, so Putin won't release the kompromat Epstein gave him. He's murdering fishermen for...reasons.
He needs to be removed from office, and No, your fucking lawsuit ain't gonna do it
He needs to be removed from office, and No, your fucking lawsuit ain't gonna do it
November 26, 2025 at 7:48 PM
Donald Trump is a thief, a child molester, and a traitor. He's currently selling this country's future to Vladimir Putin, so Putin won't release the kompromat Epstein gave him. He's murdering fishermen for...reasons.
He needs to be removed from office, and No, your fucking lawsuit ain't gonna do it
He needs to be removed from office, and No, your fucking lawsuit ain't gonna do it
Reposted by Uncle Bob
Putting the soul in winter soulstice
November 22, 2025 at 8:09 PM
Putting the soul in winter soulstice
Reposted by Uncle Bob
Reposted by Uncle Bob
opened a fortune cookie and it just started laughing at me
November 22, 2025 at 3:56 AM
opened a fortune cookie and it just started laughing at me
Reposted by Uncle Bob
I know this is wrong.
November 22, 2025 at 8:14 PM
I know this is wrong.
Reposted by Uncle Bob
You don’t hear people talking about “the American Dream” anymore.
November 22, 2025 at 8:18 PM
You don’t hear people talking about “the American Dream” anymore.
Reposted by Uncle Bob
It's always hard to pick a worst day politically, but today the president called for the death of members of the opposition party, and the administration decided that people were being too hard on the swastika
November 21, 2025 at 4:15 AM
It's always hard to pick a worst day politically, but today the president called for the death of members of the opposition party, and the administration decided that people were being too hard on the swastika
Reposted by Uncle Bob
when God closes a door he opens a window because he thinks it's funny to force people to climb through windows
November 15, 2025 at 2:12 AM
when God closes a door he opens a window because he thinks it's funny to force people to climb through windows
SHITTY PICK-UP LINES FOR FAT GUYS: I’d like to bruise your tailbone.
November 10, 2025 at 2:52 AM
SHITTY PICK-UP LINES FOR FAT GUYS: I’d like to bruise your tailbone.
Don’t make fun of Christians or they will kill you, per Trump.
November 2, 2025 at 12:04 PM
Don’t make fun of Christians or they will kill you, per Trump.
Explain this to me like I’m a five year old. You’re saying Trump enjoys fucking children but since his prick no longer works, he’s fucking them by taking their food away? Whatever floats your boat, Uncle Fucker. I guess that’s what he means by pro choice. Your choice is dinner or dicking.
October 31, 2025 at 12:30 AM
Explain this to me like I’m a five year old. You’re saying Trump enjoys fucking children but since his prick no longer works, he’s fucking them by taking their food away? Whatever floats your boat, Uncle Fucker. I guess that’s what he means by pro choice. Your choice is dinner or dicking.
At 12:01 AM the government will shut down. This is the first time the government has had to shut down since 2019. Trump was in charge back then too. Goddamn … America is great again!
September 30, 2025 at 11:27 PM
At 12:01 AM the government will shut down. This is the first time the government has had to shut down since 2019. Trump was in charge back then too. Goddamn … America is great again!
Okay hear me out … we all start referring to a “Ronald Chump” who’s a bloated orange fuck puddle of shit and smegma and we all know who we’re talking about but he can’t sue us because he’s too goddamned stupid to figure it out. That’s my plan anyway.
September 26, 2025 at 12:51 AM
Okay hear me out … we all start referring to a “Ronald Chump” who’s a bloated orange fuck puddle of shit and smegma and we all know who we’re talking about but he can’t sue us because he’s too goddamned stupid to figure it out. That’s my plan anyway.
Hey … what time does the Rapture start? I’m having pizza delivered and want to make sure I eat before I’m damned for eternity.
September 24, 2025 at 1:25 AM
Hey … what time does the Rapture start? I’m having pizza delivered and want to make sure I eat before I’m damned for eternity.