DocAtCDI
@docatcdi.com
Sharing smiles
free to steal!
Patreon: free longer content
https://www.threads.net/@docatcdi
https://mastodon.social/@DocAtCDI
https://twitter.com/DocAtCDI
https://www.facebook.com/DocCyber
PG in the daylight discretion after dark
free to steal!
Patreon: free longer content
https://www.threads.net/@docatcdi
https://mastodon.social/@DocAtCDI
https://twitter.com/DocAtCDI
https://www.facebook.com/DocCyber
PG in the daylight discretion after dark
Pinned
DocAtCDI
@docatcdi.com
· 19h
Hitler walks into a Jewish psychic's office.
The psychic is terrified.
Hitler: Don't worry, I just have a question.
Psychic: What's your question?
Hitler: When will I die?
Psychic: On a Jewish holiday.
Hitler: Which one?
Psychic: Doesn't matter when you die, it will be a Jewish holiday.
The psychic is terrified.
Hitler: Don't worry, I just have a question.
Psychic: What's your question?
Hitler: When will I die?
Psychic: On a Jewish holiday.
Hitler: Which one?
Psychic: Doesn't matter when you die, it will be a Jewish holiday.
January 11, 2026 at 12:31 AM
Hitler walks into a Jewish psychic's office.
The psychic is terrified.
Hitler: Don't worry, I just have a question.
Psychic: What's your question?
Hitler: When will I die?
Psychic: On a Jewish holiday.
Hitler: Which one?
Psychic: Doesn't matter when you die, it will be a Jewish holiday.
The psychic is terrified.
Hitler: Don't worry, I just have a question.
Psychic: What's your question?
Hitler: When will I die?
Psychic: On a Jewish holiday.
Hitler: Which one?
Psychic: Doesn't matter when you die, it will be a Jewish holiday.
What do you call a lazy skeleton?
Bone idle.
Bone idle.
January 10, 2026 at 11:31 PM
What do you call a lazy skeleton?
Bone idle.
Bone idle.
Scientists have recently discovered a fossilized dinosaur fart. They say it's a blast from the past.
January 10, 2026 at 10:31 PM
Scientists have recently discovered a fossilized dinosaur fart. They say it's a blast from the past.
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
January 10, 2026 at 9:31 PM
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
Microwave
(n.) A hand gesture used by a small person to say hello.
(n.) A hand gesture used by a small person to say hello.
January 10, 2026 at 8:31 PM
Microwave
(n.) A hand gesture used by a small person to say hello.
(n.) A hand gesture used by a small person to say hello.
What's worse than being shot?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Being shot twice.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Being shot twice.
January 10, 2026 at 7:31 PM
What's worse than being shot?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Being shot twice.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Being shot twice.
Why couldn't Peter Pan ever be a comedian? Because his jokes Neverland.
January 10, 2026 at 6:31 PM
Why couldn't Peter Pan ever be a comedian? Because his jokes Neverland.
I've opened a gym where the instructors go door to door to tell people about the benefits of joining. I've named it Jehovah's Fitness.
January 10, 2026 at 5:31 PM
I've opened a gym where the instructors go door to door to tell people about the benefits of joining. I've named it Jehovah's Fitness.
If two car dealers had a shared parking area...
they would have a lot in common.
they would have a lot in common.
January 10, 2026 at 4:31 PM
If two car dealers had a shared parking area...
they would have a lot in common.
they would have a lot in common.
Studies show people that have more birthdays...
live the longest...
live the longest...
January 10, 2026 at 3:31 PM
Studies show people that have more birthdays...
live the longest...
live the longest...
Famed sci-fi starship commander moonlighting as an office records-keeper: Captain Clerk.
January 10, 2026 at 2:31 PM
Famed sci-fi starship commander moonlighting as an office records-keeper: Captain Clerk.
Why don't programmers like nature? It has too many bugs.
January 10, 2026 at 1:31 PM
Why don't programmers like nature? It has too many bugs.
What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he saw a thunderstorm? Looks like reindeer.
January 10, 2026 at 12:31 PM
What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he saw a thunderstorm? Looks like reindeer.
Scientists have just found out that Jupiter does not experience earthquakes because it experiences jupiterquakes.
January 10, 2026 at 11:31 AM
Scientists have just found out that Jupiter does not experience earthquakes because it experiences jupiterquakes.
What did the doctor say to the man covered in cling film? I can clearly see you're nuts.
January 10, 2026 at 10:31 AM
What did the doctor say to the man covered in cling film? I can clearly see you're nuts.
Two cats are having a swimming race. One is called 'One two three', the other 'Un deux trois'. Which cat won? 'One two three' because 'Un deux trois cat sank'.
January 10, 2026 at 9:31 AM
Two cats are having a swimming race. One is called 'One two three', the other 'Un deux trois'. Which cat won? 'One two three' because 'Un deux trois cat sank'.
I couldn't understand a word they said.
January 10, 2026 at 8:40 AM
I couldn't understand a word they said.
January 10, 2026 at 5:01 AM
January 10, 2026 at 3:04 AM
I got caught in the middle of two deaf people arguing in sign language.
January 8, 2026 at 7:31 PM
I got caught in the middle of two deaf people arguing in sign language.
I had a joke about premature...
well, it came earlier than anticipated.
well, it came earlier than anticipated.
January 8, 2026 at 6:31 PM
I had a joke about premature...
well, it came earlier than anticipated.
well, it came earlier than anticipated.
My partner makes me speak a certain phrase before I can look her in the eye.
She calls it her wife-eye password!
She calls it her wife-eye password!
January 8, 2026 at 5:31 PM
My partner makes me speak a certain phrase before I can look her in the eye.
She calls it her wife-eye password!
She calls it her wife-eye password!
Did you know Abraham Lincoln lived in Pennsylvania?
Surely you've heard of his Gettysburg Address!
Surely you've heard of his Gettysburg Address!
January 8, 2026 at 4:31 PM
Did you know Abraham Lincoln lived in Pennsylvania?
Surely you've heard of his Gettysburg Address!
Surely you've heard of his Gettysburg Address!
ME: I'd like to return this.
CLERK: Sir, we don't sell VCRs from the 90s.
ME: I bought it here.
CLERK: At Old Navy?
ME: *stamping foot* This used to be a Radio Shack!
CLERK:
ME: Store credit, then?
CLERK: Sir, we don't sell VCRs from the 90s.
ME: I bought it here.
CLERK: At Old Navy?
ME: *stamping foot* This used to be a Radio Shack!
CLERK:
ME: Store credit, then?
January 8, 2026 at 3:31 PM
ME: I'd like to return this.
CLERK: Sir, we don't sell VCRs from the 90s.
ME: I bought it here.
CLERK: At Old Navy?
ME: *stamping foot* This used to be a Radio Shack!
CLERK:
ME: Store credit, then?
CLERK: Sir, we don't sell VCRs from the 90s.
ME: I bought it here.
CLERK: At Old Navy?
ME: *stamping foot* This used to be a Radio Shack!
CLERK:
ME: Store credit, then?