doubled pawn
@doubledpawn.bsky.social
Introvert full of anxiety
Notation: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:iuhvfkvs6e44zydqfeyt2cz4/feed/aaadcmrq57dek
Notation: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:iuhvfkvs6e44zydqfeyt2cz4/feed/aaadcmrq57dek
What could be worse than 2025? Oh…2026.
January 5, 2026 at 10:12 PM
What could be worse than 2025? Oh…2026.
I think I’m ready to be arrested by another country
January 5, 2026 at 10:02 PM
I think I’m ready to be arrested by another country
The “feels like” feature from the weather app, but it’s for the calendar.
Friday, January 2nd (feels like Monday)
Friday, January 2nd (feels like Monday)
January 2, 2026 at 2:20 PM
The “feels like” feature from the weather app, but it’s for the calendar.
Friday, January 2nd (feels like Monday)
Friday, January 2nd (feels like Monday)
Subscribing to a free trial, then canceling right away so it won’t renew, is one of my favorite pastimes
January 1, 2026 at 9:03 PM
Subscribing to a free trial, then canceling right away so it won’t renew, is one of my favorite pastimes
Taking the 2025 floppy disk out of my head and putting in the 2026 floppy disk
Taking the 2024 floppy disk out of my head and putting in the 2025 floppy disk
January 1, 2026 at 6:39 PM
Taking the 2025 floppy disk out of my head and putting in the 2026 floppy disk
Reposted by doubled pawn
When do the years stop?
December 31, 2024 at 7:12 PM
When do the years stop?
I fake-fire myself periodically so I am not thrown off guard when the real thing happens
December 31, 2025 at 2:45 AM
I fake-fire myself periodically so I am not thrown off guard when the real thing happens
“Oh hey, you invented sun-dried tomatoes? I’m not a big fan of eating those but I respect what you’ve done to the culinary world.”
“Wait…oh God…did you just say people are eating them?”
“Wait…oh God…did you just say people are eating them?”
December 30, 2025 at 1:00 AM
“Oh hey, you invented sun-dried tomatoes? I’m not a big fan of eating those but I respect what you’ve done to the culinary world.”
“Wait…oh God…did you just say people are eating them?”
“Wait…oh God…did you just say people are eating them?”
They should make another season of before the internet
December 27, 2025 at 2:18 AM
They should make another season of before the internet
“We would like to apologize in advance to any Gen Z users who happen to stumble upon resurfaced Macarena dance videos from the 90s.”
December 27, 2025 at 2:08 AM
“We would like to apologize in advance to any Gen Z users who happen to stumble upon resurfaced Macarena dance videos from the 90s.”
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
“Why are you telling me an impossible thing?”
“Why are you telling me an impossible thing?”
December 27, 2025 at 12:11 AM
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
“Why are you telling me an impossible thing?”
“Why are you telling me an impossible thing?”
Waiting in line and looking at a phone then crossing the street and looking at a phone and thought I felt a notification buzz checked phone it was nothing went to bathroom while looking at phone sitting at restaurant waiting for food looked at phone someone talking to me got bored looked at phone
December 27, 2025 at 12:09 AM
Waiting in line and looking at a phone then crossing the street and looking at a phone and thought I felt a notification buzz checked phone it was nothing went to bathroom while looking at phone sitting at restaurant waiting for food looked at phone someone talking to me got bored looked at phone
Reposted by doubled pawn
The Cracker Barrel thing was THIS YEAR. We have three more years of this shit. Anybody who makes it to 2028 without looking like Nosferatu will be required by the state to start a skincare brand.
December 23, 2025 at 5:39 PM
The Cracker Barrel thing was THIS YEAR. We have three more years of this shit. Anybody who makes it to 2028 without looking like Nosferatu will be required by the state to start a skincare brand.
A Twitch stream of a person watching a Twitch stream
December 20, 2025 at 6:35 PM
A Twitch stream of a person watching a Twitch stream
Reposted by doubled pawn
I do not regret to inform you.
In fact, I relish to inform you.
In fact, I relish to inform you.
December 20, 2025 at 2:52 PM
I do not regret to inform you.
In fact, I relish to inform you.
In fact, I relish to inform you.
Ask your doctor if Bluesky is right for you
December 18, 2025 at 5:58 AM
Ask your doctor if Bluesky is right for you
“To avoid awkward pre-meeting small talk, we are going to go ahead and start…”
December 12, 2025 at 2:00 PM
“To avoid awkward pre-meeting small talk, we are going to go ahead and start…”
Everyday: “I should have taken off today.”
December 12, 2025 at 1:29 PM
Everyday: “I should have taken off today.”
99 bottles of warm beer on the wall?
December 11, 2025 at 4:09 PM
99 bottles of warm beer on the wall?
“Hey boss, I’ve given it a lot of thought and I have decided to quit.”
“Okay, have you filled out the proper paperwork? There is actually a checklist, I will forward that to you now. You will also need to train a replacement…don’t worry, you will be out of this job in a month. Two months at most.”
“Okay, have you filled out the proper paperwork? There is actually a checklist, I will forward that to you now. You will also need to train a replacement…don’t worry, you will be out of this job in a month. Two months at most.”
December 11, 2025 at 2:21 PM
“Hey boss, I’ve given it a lot of thought and I have decided to quit.”
“Okay, have you filled out the proper paperwork? There is actually a checklist, I will forward that to you now. You will also need to train a replacement…don’t worry, you will be out of this job in a month. Two months at most.”
“Okay, have you filled out the proper paperwork? There is actually a checklist, I will forward that to you now. You will also need to train a replacement…don’t worry, you will be out of this job in a month. Two months at most.”
“Being a shapeshifter must be pretty cool, huh?”
“Well, I have to change back to myself every time I need to unlock my fucking phone with Face ID!”
“Well, I have to change back to myself every time I need to unlock my fucking phone with Face ID!”
December 10, 2025 at 2:35 PM
“Being a shapeshifter must be pretty cool, huh?”
“Well, I have to change back to myself every time I need to unlock my fucking phone with Face ID!”
“Well, I have to change back to myself every time I need to unlock my fucking phone with Face ID!”
“Now where did I put my phone?” I say as I’m watching a movie on my phone.
December 9, 2025 at 5:52 PM
“Now where did I put my phone?” I say as I’m watching a movie on my phone.
Too many years I’ve asked for new socks, just to put holes in them right away. This year, asking for new feet.
December 7, 2025 at 8:54 PM
Too many years I’ve asked for new socks, just to put holes in them right away. This year, asking for new feet.
Reposted by doubled pawn
Asking everyone with a moustache "are you a fireman" until I get punched in the face
December 4, 2025 at 8:11 PM
Asking everyone with a moustache "are you a fireman" until I get punched in the face
Preferred method of communication is pneumatic tube
December 3, 2025 at 2:41 AM
Preferred method of communication is pneumatic tube