duncan gates
@duncangates.bsky.social
Yale Drama shortlist (2024); Verity Bargate longlist (2022, 2017, 2013); Bruntwood longlist (2013); Papatango longlist (2022, 2017)
rep: Steinberg Assoc
https://duncan-gates.com/
rep: Steinberg Assoc
https://duncan-gates.com/
a neighbour uses this bag for clothes pegs, which post-rain looks like nothing but a gigantic rubber johnny out to dry
February 11, 2026 at 12:59 PM
a neighbour uses this bag for clothes pegs, which post-rain looks like nothing but a gigantic rubber johnny out to dry
Broke: taking the spotlight away from your gold-medal-winning teammate
Ultra-broke: taking the spotlight away from your gold-medal-winning teammate *who dedicated that gold to another teammate, whose body he himself found 2 days before Christmas*
Ultra-broke: taking the spotlight away from your gold-medal-winning teammate *who dedicated that gold to another teammate, whose body he himself found 2 days before Christmas*
February 11, 2026 at 12:27 PM
Broke: taking the spotlight away from your gold-medal-winning teammate
Ultra-broke: taking the spotlight away from your gold-medal-winning teammate *who dedicated that gold to another teammate, whose body he himself found 2 days before Christmas*
Ultra-broke: taking the spotlight away from your gold-medal-winning teammate *who dedicated that gold to another teammate, whose body he himself found 2 days before Christmas*
TOP TIP: if you're doing basic shit, make an effort to justify why you're bothering
my radical re-imagining of Wuthering Heights: Cathy and Heathcliff are two weird, non-sexy little guys
February 10, 2026 at 10:52 PM
TOP TIP: if you're doing basic shit, make an effort to justify why you're bothering
my radical re-imagining of Wuthering Heights: Cathy and Heathcliff are two weird, non-sexy little guys
February 10, 2026 at 12:27 PM
my radical re-imagining of Wuthering Heights: Cathy and Heathcliff are two weird, non-sexy little guys
so, farewell then John Virgo
finally you have potted
as many balls as you could
finally you have potted
as many balls as you could
February 4, 2026 at 10:09 AM
so, farewell then John Virgo
finally you have potted
as many balls as you could
finally you have potted
as many balls as you could
Took my ass to an exhibition of mediumistic art at the College of Psychic Studies (titled 'The Medium is the Message', lol) and it was a good day out
February 4, 2026 at 9:18 AM
Took my ass to an exhibition of mediumistic art at the College of Psychic Studies (titled 'The Medium is the Message', lol) and it was a good day out
i think we deserve a world on fire for not going with 'Mandel-Scandel'
February 2, 2026 at 8:35 PM
i think we deserve a world on fire for not going with 'Mandel-Scandel'
please enjoy Brain Balls: either an ancient Irish custom of taking out a slain opponent's brain, mixing with lime and drying in the sun, OR a total fabrication
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brain_b...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brain_b...
February 2, 2026 at 8:34 PM
please enjoy Brain Balls: either an ancient Irish custom of taking out a slain opponent's brain, mixing with lime and drying in the sun, OR a total fabrication
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brain_b...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brain_b...
wasn't Jeremy Jacquet the baddie from Nope
February 2, 2026 at 10:52 AM
wasn't Jeremy Jacquet the baddie from Nope
The Most Incompetent Person You Know Just Made A Somewhat Reasonable Point
February 1, 2026 at 9:35 AM
The Most Incompetent Person You Know Just Made A Somewhat Reasonable Point
Highlights of the Royal Pharmaceutical Society
January 30, 2026 at 5:55 PM
Highlights of the Royal Pharmaceutical Society
January 25, 2026 at 12:49 PM
January 23, 2026 at 9:45 PM
'i was a cop's friend, and the cop didn't suspect me' is much less powerful evidence than it appears
#TheTraitors
#TheTraitors
January 23, 2026 at 9:22 PM
'i was a cop's friend, and the cop didn't suspect me' is much less powerful evidence than it appears
#TheTraitors
#TheTraitors
arc-ed around and rear-ended itself into the wall it was in front of, as one might have expected
#TheTraitors
#TheTraitors
January 23, 2026 at 9:16 PM
arc-ed around and rear-ended itself into the wall it was in front of, as one might have expected
#TheTraitors
#TheTraitors
Quattrodamus: the mystical insight of Nostradamus with the power of an Audi Quattro
January 23, 2026 at 4:18 PM
Quattrodamus: the mystical insight of Nostradamus with the power of an Audi Quattro
January 22, 2026 at 8:33 PM
January 22, 2026 at 8:24 PM
January 22, 2026 at 8:14 PM
'I would love for Stephen or Rachel to win'
i hope James has watched that and felt slightly less like the wrong-est person that's ever existed
#TheTraitors
i hope James has watched that and felt slightly less like the wrong-est person that's ever existed
#TheTraitors
January 22, 2026 at 8:10 PM
'I would love for Stephen or Rachel to win'
i hope James has watched that and felt slightly less like the wrong-est person that's ever existed
#TheTraitors
i hope James has watched that and felt slightly less like the wrong-est person that's ever existed
#TheTraitors
'As a personal trainer I will do anything it takes to save specifically myself' isn't an insight many of them give you
#TheTraitors
#TheTraitors
January 22, 2026 at 8:06 PM
Catford Bridge Tavern having a Moment as the jukebox plays Everyday is like Sunday, followed by Creep
January 22, 2026 at 7:08 PM
Catford Bridge Tavern having a Moment as the jukebox plays Everyday is like Sunday, followed by Creep
January 21, 2026 at 8:50 PM