Eli Parham
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eliparham.bsky.social
Eli Parham
@eliparham.bsky.social
Lvl 34 wolf-goat, reader, coffee and sparkling water addict, tech trainer
💙@chipcottontail.bsky.social

Pfp: @canvaskat.bsky.social

18+ only please
Pinned
From fat and unhealthy for half my life to running a half marathon with my husband, @chipcottontail.bsky.social. Thank you for being my biggest supporter and cheerleader in my health journey!

Also, thank you @lucanimations.bsky.social for this amazing piece!!

Finally, fuck Elon Musk.
Reposted by Eli Parham
December 7, 2025 at 7:26 PM
Reposted by Eli Parham
JD Vance Begins To Suspect There Another Group Chat
JD Vance Begins To Suspect There Another Group Chat
PALM BEACH, FL—Noticing everyone else’s phone simultaneously buzzing throughout a meeting, Vice President-elect JD Vance began to suspect there was another group chat among Trump’s senior staff that h...
theonion.com
December 4, 2025 at 9:42 PM
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Kristi Noem Places Pushpin In Bespoke Map Of Every Place She’s Deported Someone To
December 4, 2025 at 10:00 PM
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Hakeem Jeffries Calls For Execution Of Central Park Five
December 4, 2025 at 8:30 PM
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I should feel something
July 2, 2025 at 10:06 AM
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Trump Appears To Doze During Stroke
December 3, 2025 at 11:27 PM
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Trump Announces 5,000% Increase In All Numbers https://theonion.com/trump-announces-5000-increase-in-all-numbers/
December 2, 2025 at 4:00 PM
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Snowy forest ❄️
December 1, 2025 at 9:24 PM
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U.S. Military Carries Out Strike On Scuffy The Tugboat https://theonion.com/u-s-military-carries-out-strike-on-scuffy-the-tugboat/
December 1, 2025 at 5:30 PM
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Now that Thanksgiving is over it's time to switch my profile picture to my super cute newest commissioned Christmas art piece from @canvaskat.bsky.social
November 28, 2025 at 2:31 PM
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MPA Rates ‘Zootopia 2’ PG-13 For Sexually Awakening Content https://theonion.com/mpa-rates-zootopia-2-pg-13-for-sexually-awakening-content/
November 25, 2025 at 8:00 PM
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experiment stuff
November 21, 2025 at 5:35 AM
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Man Trying To Enter Conversation Spends Few Minutes Smiling And Nodding At Edge Of Circle https://theonion.com/man-trying-to-enter-conversation-spends-few-minutes-smi-1819577205/
November 19, 2025 at 11:00 PM
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Wolf. Charcoal on paper
November 19, 2025 at 5:55 PM
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Family Enters Crisis Talks After Learning Restaurant Has 45-Minute Wait http://theonion.com/family-enters-crisis-talks-after-learning-restaurant-ha-1819577952/
November 18, 2025 at 11:00 PM
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Trump Imposes 100% Tax On Movies Where Slaves Escape
Trump Imposes 100% Tax On Movies Where Slaves Escape
WASHINGTON—In an effort to bring an end to what he described as an anti-American trend in filmmaking, President Donald Trump signed an executive order Monday imposing a 100% tax on the profits of movi...
theonion.com
November 17, 2025 at 4:00 PM
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November 13, 2025 at 7:07 PM
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Trump Says Epstein Emails Only Prove He One Of The Most Emailed-About Men In History https://theonion.com/trump-says-epstein-emails-only-prove-he-one-of-the-most-emailed-about-men-in-history/
November 13, 2025 at 8:00 PM
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Americans Demand New Form Of Media To Bridge Entertainment Gap While Looking From Laptop To Phone https://theonion.com/americans-demand-new-form-of-media-to-bridge-entertainm-1819576756/
November 13, 2025 at 3:00 PM
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just finished this 2-view ref sheet for @eliparham.bsky.social ! I absolutely love getting to draw unusual species, this guy was a pleasure to work on!
November 13, 2025 at 8:33 AM
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Trump Solemnly Lays Wreath At Site Where He Would Have Died During Vietnam War If He Weren’t Rich https://theonion.com/trump-solemnly-lays-wreath-at-site-where-he-would-have-1832907992/
November 11, 2025 at 8:30 PM
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In 2006 a high school English teacher asked students to write to a famous author & ask for advice.

KURT VONNEGUT - born 103yrs ago today - was the only one to respond.

His reply was a doozy.
November 11, 2025 at 10:39 AM
Reposted by Eli Parham
Medicaid Work Requirements Myth Vs. Fact https://theonion.com/medicaid-work-requirements-myth-vs-fact/
November 10, 2025 at 10:00 PM
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Hungover Egyptologist Just Gonna Call In Cursed Today
Hungover Egyptologist Just Gonna Call In Cursed Today
CAIRO—Admitting he was unable to face a lengthy session of indexing artifacts after drinking too much the night before, hungover Egyptologist Henry Chapman confirmed Tuesday he was just gonna call in ...
theonion.com
November 10, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Reposted by Eli Parham
👑Commissions Open👑

⭐Form: tinyurl.com/bdf89wa6
⭐Prices: slurkupricesheet.carrd.co
⭐ ToS: slurkutos.carrd.co
⭐Contact: slurkuinquries.carrd.co
⭐Portfolio: theartofslurku.carrd.co

💜Reposts and shares greatly appreciated💜
October 24, 2025 at 11:13 PM