Elizabeth Alarcón
@elizabethalarcon.bsky.social
👾 Taking care of the bleeps, the sweeps, and the creeps.
⬇️ portfolio + business resources
elizabethalarcon.com
⬇️ portfolio + business resources
elizabethalarcon.com
Pinned
a close up of a person with long blonde hair holding their hair .
ALT: a close up of a person with long blonde hair holding their hair .
media.tenor.com
I couldn’t fit this into the bio so here you go:
🌁 Baydestrian 💁🏻♀️ She/her ♎️ Libra 💥 ENTJ 🗣👾 Language Nerd. Even the ones that go beep boop boop beep beep. 🍕 Pineapple does belong on pizza. 🎸 And it's Van Halen, not Van Hagar.
🌁 Baydestrian 💁🏻♀️ She/her ♎️ Libra 💥 ENTJ 🗣👾 Language Nerd. Even the ones that go beep boop boop beep beep. 🍕 Pineapple does belong on pizza. 🎸 And it's Van Halen, not Van Hagar.
🔗 Hey #WordPress fam! If you’re not using #PrettyLinks yet, you’re leaving money on the table. Snatch up to 70% off with code BF2025. . Plans start at just $99.60/year. The clock’s ticking! ⏰
www.elizabethalarcon.com/pretty-links
www.elizabethalarcon.com/pretty-links
Custom Link Shortener, Branded Link Management | PrettyLinks
A WordPress plugin URL shortener, link cloaker, branded link manager, and QR code generator to shrink, cloak, track, organize, share, and test all your links.
www.elizabethalarcon.com
November 25, 2025 at 10:07 AM
🔗 Hey #WordPress fam! If you’re not using #PrettyLinks yet, you’re leaving money on the table. Snatch up to 70% off with code BF2025. . Plans start at just $99.60/year. The clock’s ticking! ⏰
www.elizabethalarcon.com/pretty-links
www.elizabethalarcon.com/pretty-links
12 hours until departure. 🚗
I want this week to go fast 💨 and smoothly so I can be back home in front of the fireplace 🔥 with a cup of cocoa.
I want this week to go fast 💨 and smoothly so I can be back home in front of the fireplace 🔥 with a cup of cocoa.
a man is standing in front of a couch in a living room .
ALT: a man is standing in front of a couch in a living room .
media.tenor.com
November 25, 2025 at 4:28 AM
12 hours until departure. 🚗
I want this week to go fast 💨 and smoothly so I can be back home in front of the fireplace 🔥 with a cup of cocoa.
I want this week to go fast 💨 and smoothly so I can be back home in front of the fireplace 🔥 with a cup of cocoa.
Warriors….
a close up of a man 's face with his mouth open .
ALT: a close up of a man 's face with his mouth open .
media.tenor.com
November 25, 2025 at 3:58 AM
Warriors….
Will Hardy is giving me Donny Osmond vibes.
a man in a red and white striped suit is making a funny face while standing on a stage .
ALT: a man in a red and white striped suit is making a funny face while standing on a stage .
media.tenor.com
November 25, 2025 at 3:56 AM
Will Hardy is giving me Donny Osmond vibes.
So my new hairdresser’s middle name is Aaliyah.
I had to do a double take as it was sandwiched between two Spanish sounding names.
“Oh yeah my Mom’s a huge fan!” 🥹
I had to do a double take as it was sandwiched between two Spanish sounding names.
“Oh yeah my Mom’s a huge fan!” 🥹
a close up of a woman 's face with ugotnerve written in the corner
ALT: a close up of a woman 's face with ugotnerve written in the corner
media.tenor.com
November 25, 2025 at 3:42 AM
So my new hairdresser’s middle name is Aaliyah.
I had to do a double take as it was sandwiched between two Spanish sounding names.
“Oh yeah my Mom’s a huge fan!” 🥹
I had to do a double take as it was sandwiched between two Spanish sounding names.
“Oh yeah my Mom’s a huge fan!” 🥹
…and we get a little Cirque du Soleil.
Yay! 😁
Yay! 😁
November 25, 2025 at 3:39 AM
…and we get a little Cirque du Soleil.
Yay! 😁
Yay! 😁
So I’m tardy to the party 🎉, but Ja called Klay a bum?!
Ja is all bark and no bite.
All talk and no rings 💍.
Ja is all bark and no bite.
All talk and no rings 💍.
a man is wearing a leather jacket and earrings and making a funny face .
ALT: a man is wearing a leather jacket and earrings and making a funny face .
media.tenor.com
November 25, 2025 at 3:33 AM
So I’m tardy to the party 🎉, but Ja called Klay a bum?!
Ja is all bark and no bite.
All talk and no rings 💍.
Ja is all bark and no bite.
All talk and no rings 💍.
…and now y’all gonna hit me with that Savage Garden?!
a cartoon cat is sitting on a set of wooden steps .
ALT: a cartoon cat is sitting on a set of wooden steps .
media.tenor.com
November 25, 2025 at 12:53 AM
…and now y’all gonna hit me with that Savage Garden?!
✨ 🎶 I need some love like I never needed love before…
Wanna make love to you, baby
I had a little love, now I'm back for more
Wanna make love to you, baby
Set your spirit free, it's the only way to be. 🎶 ✨
1996 oOF. My heart. ❤️
Wanna make love to you, baby
I had a little love, now I'm back for more
Wanna make love to you, baby
Set your spirit free, it's the only way to be. 🎶 ✨
1996 oOF. My heart. ❤️
November 25, 2025 at 12:53 AM
✨ 🎶 I need some love like I never needed love before…
Wanna make love to you, baby
I had a little love, now I'm back for more
Wanna make love to you, baby
Set your spirit free, it's the only way to be. 🎶 ✨
1996 oOF. My heart. ❤️
Wanna make love to you, baby
I had a little love, now I'm back for more
Wanna make love to you, baby
Set your spirit free, it's the only way to be. 🎶 ✨
1996 oOF. My heart. ❤️
Do You Know (What It Takes)" is a song by Swedish singer and songwriter Robyn, released as the third single from her debut studio album, Robyn Is Here (1996).
“Don’t waste my tiiiiime, baby.” ✨ 💎
“Don’t waste my tiiiiime, baby.” ✨ 💎
November 25, 2025 at 12:49 AM
Do You Know (What It Takes)" is a song by Swedish singer and songwriter Robyn, released as the third single from her debut studio album, Robyn Is Here (1996).
“Don’t waste my tiiiiime, baby.” ✨ 💎
“Don’t waste my tiiiiime, baby.” ✨ 💎
I’m at the salon waiting for a haircut 💇♀️ and freestyle classic “In a Dream” by Rockell is playing and I’m apparently the only one that isn’t salty about it.
bart simpson wearing headphones in front of a radio
ALT: bart simpson wearing headphones in front of a radio
media.tenor.com
November 25, 2025 at 12:40 AM
I’m at the salon waiting for a haircut 💇♀️ and freestyle classic “In a Dream” by Rockell is playing and I’m apparently the only one that isn’t salty about it.
✨new boot (err…glasses 👓) goofin’ ✨
November 25, 2025 at 12:07 AM
✨new boot (err…glasses 👓) goofin’ ✨
Can't say I didn't tell you. The deal came and went, but if you didn't get it for $50, here's your chance to get it at a discount during the Black Friday weekend. All the contracts you need for one price. That's it. One time, and you get access to it forever.
🔑 🗄️🗃️ FYI: The Contract Club®️
🔑 🗄️🗃️ FYI: The Contract Club®️
November 24, 2025 at 4:25 PM
Can't say I didn't tell you. The deal came and went, but if you didn't get it for $50, here's your chance to get it at a discount during the Black Friday weekend. All the contracts you need for one price. That's it. One time, and you get access to it forever.
🔑 🗄️🗃️ FYI: The Contract Club®️
🔑 🗄️🗃️ FYI: The Contract Club®️
Went over to my Mastodon account and only found this cute ☺️ profile pic.
This is my dogter 🐕 CeCe who crossed the rainbow 🌈 bridge this past July.
I miss her like hell. 😔 This was my favorite time of year with her. Nothing but hoodies, snuggles, and carbs. 🥰
#CutiesInHoodies 💅🏼
#LibraGang ♎️
This is my dogter 🐕 CeCe who crossed the rainbow 🌈 bridge this past July.
I miss her like hell. 😔 This was my favorite time of year with her. Nothing but hoodies, snuggles, and carbs. 🥰
#CutiesInHoodies 💅🏼
#LibraGang ♎️
November 24, 2025 at 2:56 PM
Went over to my Mastodon account and only found this cute ☺️ profile pic.
This is my dogter 🐕 CeCe who crossed the rainbow 🌈 bridge this past July.
I miss her like hell. 😔 This was my favorite time of year with her. Nothing but hoodies, snuggles, and carbs. 🥰
#CutiesInHoodies 💅🏼
#LibraGang ♎️
This is my dogter 🐕 CeCe who crossed the rainbow 🌈 bridge this past July.
I miss her like hell. 😔 This was my favorite time of year with her. Nothing but hoodies, snuggles, and carbs. 🥰
#CutiesInHoodies 💅🏼
#LibraGang ♎️
Are you a freelancer, solopreneur, or small business owner looking to streamline your operations and eliminate repetitive tasks?
#Dubsado has the perfect solution for you with an unbeatable #BlackFriday offer—50% off your first year on an annual plan! 🚀
www.elizabethalarcon.com/dubsado
#Dubsado has the perfect solution for you with an unbeatable #BlackFriday offer—50% off your first year on an annual plan! 🚀
www.elizabethalarcon.com/dubsado
November 24, 2025 at 2:03 PM
Are you a freelancer, solopreneur, or small business owner looking to streamline your operations and eliminate repetitive tasks?
#Dubsado has the perfect solution for you with an unbeatable #BlackFriday offer—50% off your first year on an annual plan! 🚀
www.elizabethalarcon.com/dubsado
#Dubsado has the perfect solution for you with an unbeatable #BlackFriday offer—50% off your first year on an annual plan! 🚀
www.elizabethalarcon.com/dubsado
The Contract Club®️ lets you build your own contract using templates that fit YOUR business. Plus, you get access to a community where you can ask questions and request templates.
🔗 www.elizabethalarcon.com/contract-club
This deal ends Cyber Monday, December 1st, 11:59PM PST.
🔗 www.elizabethalarcon.com/contract-club
This deal ends Cyber Monday, December 1st, 11:59PM PST.
The Contract Club 🪩 - one time price for a lifetime of contracts and support. - Not AVG Law
All the Contracts you need. All in one place. All for one price. Just pay the cover, and you're in for life.
www.elizabethalarcon.com
November 24, 2025 at 12:09 PM
The Contract Club®️ lets you build your own contract using templates that fit YOUR business. Plus, you get access to a community where you can ask questions and request templates.
🔗 www.elizabethalarcon.com/contract-club
This deal ends Cyber Monday, December 1st, 11:59PM PST.
🔗 www.elizabethalarcon.com/contract-club
This deal ends Cyber Monday, December 1st, 11:59PM PST.
Me packing 🧳🎒 for my trip:
a cartoon character from the simpsons is brushing his teeth in front of a mirror
ALT: a cartoon character from the simpsons is brushing his teeth in front of a mirror
media.tenor.com
November 24, 2025 at 10:40 AM
Me packing 🧳🎒 for my trip:
We went from getting rid of these weights to missing them.
I’ll take one please. ☝🏼
Unless there’s a clear one out there. IYKYK
I’ll take one please. ☝🏼
Unless there’s a clear one out there. IYKYK
November 23, 2025 at 9:03 PM
We went from getting rid of these weights to missing them.
I’ll take one please. ☝🏼
Unless there’s a clear one out there. IYKYK
I’ll take one please. ☝🏼
Unless there’s a clear one out there. IYKYK
The amount of bullshit one has to deal with over a holiday, any holiday, is too damn high.
I think I was a bear 🐻 in another life because I check out after September and check back in around March.
I think I was a bear 🐻 in another life because I check out after September and check back in around March.
elmo is sitting in front of a wooden door and smiling .
ALT: elmo is sitting in front of a wooden door and smiling .
media.tenor.com
November 23, 2025 at 8:49 PM
The amount of bullshit one has to deal with over a holiday, any holiday, is too damn high.
I think I was a bear 🐻 in another life because I check out after September and check back in around March.
I think I was a bear 🐻 in another life because I check out after September and check back in around March.
Ok I’m done. ✅
We’re arguing about Tupperware now?!
😂 😂 😂
We’re arguing about Tupperware now?!
😂 😂 😂
a man in a suit and tie stands in front of a crowd of people
ALT: a man in a suit and tie stands in front of a crowd of people
media.tenor.com
November 23, 2025 at 8:44 AM
Ok I’m done. ✅
We’re arguing about Tupperware now?!
😂 😂 😂
We’re arguing about Tupperware now?!
😂 😂 😂
11:11. Make a wish! ✨
November 23, 2025 at 7:11 AM
11:11. Make a wish! ✨
There’s a 40 year old plaintiff suing two young women over student VP election posters.
To quote Chris Rock, “What’s she doing, ripping up your paper?!” 😂
To quote Chris Rock, “What’s she doing, ripping up your paper?!” 😂
a man in a chef 's uniform wipes his nose with his hand
ALT: a man in a chef 's uniform wipes his nose with his hand
media.tenor.com
November 23, 2025 at 6:59 AM
There’s a 40 year old plaintiff suing two young women over student VP election posters.
To quote Chris Rock, “What’s she doing, ripping up your paper?!” 😂
To quote Chris Rock, “What’s she doing, ripping up your paper?!” 😂
Me: How TF is a gym membership $750 dollars?!
“It was Bally’s.”
Me: Oh yeah that’s checks out. *shudders*
📝 Bally’s Total Fitness is now defunct. The Bally’s brand lives on in other ways but the gyms are gone.
“It was Bally’s.”
Me: Oh yeah that’s checks out. *shudders*
📝 Bally’s Total Fitness is now defunct. The Bally’s brand lives on in other ways but the gyms are gone.
a woman is kneeling on a yoga mat in a gym
ALT: a woman is kneeling on a yoga mat in a gym
media.tenor.com
November 23, 2025 at 6:39 AM
Me: How TF is a gym membership $750 dollars?!
“It was Bally’s.”
Me: Oh yeah that’s checks out. *shudders*
📝 Bally’s Total Fitness is now defunct. The Bally’s brand lives on in other ways but the gyms are gone.
“It was Bally’s.”
Me: Oh yeah that’s checks out. *shudders*
📝 Bally’s Total Fitness is now defunct. The Bally’s brand lives on in other ways but the gyms are gone.
You thought 💭 the Android green messages on an iPhone was bad, we chose service providers based on how many people were on the same network so the calls were free.
Literally used a company Sprint phone 📱 to make my calls to my Sprint friends and my Cingular/AT&T/Cingular/AT&T one for the others. 🤷🏻♀️
Literally used a company Sprint phone 📱 to make my calls to my Sprint friends and my Cingular/AT&T/Cingular/AT&T one for the others. 🤷🏻♀️
a cartoon cat is talking on a telephone while wearing glasses .
ALT: a cartoon cat is talking on a telephone while wearing glasses .
media.tenor.com
November 23, 2025 at 6:28 AM
You thought 💭 the Android green messages on an iPhone was bad, we chose service providers based on how many people were on the same network so the calls were free.
Literally used a company Sprint phone 📱 to make my calls to my Sprint friends and my Cingular/AT&T/Cingular/AT&T one for the others. 🤷🏻♀️
Literally used a company Sprint phone 📱 to make my calls to my Sprint friends and my Cingular/AT&T/Cingular/AT&T one for the others. 🤷🏻♀️
I briefly couldn’t wrap my head around how someone could get sued for long distance phone calls. ☎️
Oh yeah that’s how we used to do it. 🤯
“Call me after 9 when my minutes are free,” was something we said.
Or those 10-10 numbers.
Oh yeah that’s how we used to do it. 🤯
“Call me after 9 when my minutes are free,” was something we said.
Or those 10-10 numbers.
a man is blowing a kiss while talking on a cell phone and says today pay phone bill .
ALT: a man is blowing a kiss while talking on a cell phone and says today pay phone bill .
media.tenor.com
November 23, 2025 at 6:24 AM
I briefly couldn’t wrap my head around how someone could get sued for long distance phone calls. ☎️
Oh yeah that’s how we used to do it. 🤯
“Call me after 9 when my minutes are free,” was something we said.
Or those 10-10 numbers.
Oh yeah that’s how we used to do it. 🤯
“Call me after 9 when my minutes are free,” was something we said.
Or those 10-10 numbers.