Ephemerides
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ephemerides.bsky.social
Ephemerides
@ephemerides.bsky.social
2.1K followers 1.8K following 1.3K posts
🔞 NSFW. Grumpy, Gym-addicted, and Geriatric.
Don't cam. Don't call. Don't have Snap. Shit at sexy chat.
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ephemerides.bsky.social
Every week you always hit some sort of hump in the road... BUMP! I meant bump 😏
#HumpDay
January 14, 2026 at 7:13 AM
ephemerides.bsky.social
I've noticed that sexy guys stand perfectly still while drying their back and butt. I, on the other hand...
#TodgerTuesday
January 13, 2026 at 7:13 AM
ephemerides.bsky.social
When I think back to the views I used to get as a short-ass kid in the local pool's open showers...
#mcm
January 12, 2026 at 7:13 AM
ephemerides.bsky.social
When you realise that the "no nuts" on your diet plan did NOT mean what you thought it did
#SundayCumday #wank #cum
January 11, 2026 at 7:29 AM
ephemerides.bsky.social
Fine. Just stand there and watch. Just saying, there's plenty of room if you want to hop in.
#scs
January 10, 2026 at 7:35 AM
ephemerides.bsky.social
The throbbing is just my dick's way of telling me he knows it's #FriskyFriday
#fcf
January 9, 2026 at 7:23 AM
ephemerides.bsky.social
April 2024. Just couldn't wait to get out of my clothes.
#ThrowbackThursday
January 8, 2026 at 7:24 AM
ephemerides.bsky.social
#HumpDay - the day I feel like telling work to kiss my ass for the rest of the week.
January 7, 2026 at 7:10 AM
ephemerides.bsky.social
My best angle... far away
#TodgerTuesday
January 6, 2026 at 7:22 AM
ephemerides.bsky.social
Let him know you love him before you stuff him away for work
#mcm
January 5, 2026 at 7:09 AM
ephemerides.bsky.social
When you see snow falling outside and it reminds you of something...
#SundayCumday #wank #cum
January 4, 2026 at 7:09 AM
ephemerides.bsky.social
Shake your softie like it's Saturday
#scs
January 3, 2026 at 7:27 AM
ephemerides.bsky.social
Attention all guys signing up to a gym for the first time: THIS is how you dry off in a #lockerroom. Nobody's going to shame you in there. It's not school.
#fsf
January 2, 2026 at 7:16 AM
ephemerides.bsky.social
2026, I'm cummin' at ya.
Happy New Year all.
#wank #cum
January 1, 2026 at 8:05 AM
ephemerides.bsky.social
The end of the year sees the end of me
#HumpDay
December 31, 2025 at 6:52 AM
ephemerides.bsky.social
Are you ok there? Do you need me to waft some air at you?
#TodgerTuesday
December 30, 2025 at 7:15 AM
ephemerides.bsky.social
Washing off the last vestiges of Christmas filth before returning to work
#mcm
December 29, 2025 at 7:25 AM
ephemerides.bsky.social
Trying to convince Marie Kondo that a pair of abandoned boxers swiped from the locker room floor brings me joy
#SundayCumday #wank #cum
December 28, 2025 at 7:30 AM
ephemerides.bsky.social
It's Saturday. Let's crush it!
December 27, 2025 at 7:26 AM
ephemerides.bsky.social
When Christmas leaves you feeling overstuffed, a little pressure relief is required
#FriskyFriday #wank #cum
December 26, 2025 at 7:21 AM
ephemerides.bsky.social
Ho! Ho! How about No!
My Grinch is coming to stir up your Christmas 😈
December 25, 2025 at 7:32 AM
ephemerides.bsky.social
Nearly time to wrestle that turkey into the oven
#WillyWednesday
December 24, 2025 at 7:18 AM
ephemerides.bsky.social
Middle of three working days for me this week makes this #HumpDay. If you object, you can just kiss it. 😈
December 23, 2025 at 6:58 AM
ephemerides.bsky.social
You might be off work today, but I'm not. Outta my way!
#mcm
December 22, 2025 at 7:14 AM
ephemerides.bsky.social
Exorcising the demons on #SundayCumday
#wank #cum
December 21, 2025 at 7:08 AM