Florida Man
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floridaman.bsky.social
Florida Man
@floridaman.bsky.social
450 followers 86 following 1.4K posts
Chicken Soup for the Soulless. #VisitFlorida ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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I'm moist.
Mamdani: So hear me, President Trump, when I say this: to get to any of us, you will have to get through all of us.
Welcome to Florida, Cuomo. I see you already know everyone.
Green_Day_-_American_Idiot.mp3
I just can't bring myself to watch it yet.
Previously owned by Jon Voight?
Literally everyone's blood pressure.
Oh let me guess, you're an ICE bot. Either way, get fucked.
This is my latest follower. It's impossible to manually follow 321,000 people unless you just sat there day after day after day clicking FOLLOW. Nobody gets 65,000 followers after only 529 posts unless you're that fuckin Hawk Tuah bitch. @safety.bsky.app has completely lost its grip. Fuck this app.
Watching the 2022 Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

The victims are all influencers (I'm not kidding).

It has a 31% on Rotten Tomatoes.

I think it's the feel-good movie of the holiday season.

No, seriously. This movie rips.

Leatherface just chainsawed his way through a busload of influencers. 👍👍 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Because he's Weird Al. If he's gonna do a commercial, it should be for accordion shutters.
Gonna get baked af, eat Chinese takeout, give out candy, and finally watch as much of the Terrifier trilogy as I can tonight.

The teen years of parenthood suck, but not tonight, baby.
a scary clown with a surprised look on his face is wearing a regal shirt .
ALT: a scary clown with a surprised look on his face is wearing a regal shirt .
media.tenor.com
He probably bought the couch from Coming to America because it comes pre-lubed.
Venn diagram of those opposed to funding SNAP and those who don't give out candy to teenagers or kids without costumes.
Tonight I'm going to put on a suit and dark eyeliner when I give out candy, and then ask every trick-or-treater if they're gonna say "thank you".
You just know there's some obnoxious fuck in Wisconsin promoting a Muenster Mash today.
I spent 15 years in Corporate America and I can absolutely guarantee this is actually happening today.
Man Wouldn't Have Worn Costume To Work If He'd Known He Was Getting Laid Off
Like we always do about this time.
Thriller is not a good song.
Anti-QTip sentiment is nothing more than propaganda from Big Earwax.