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floridaman.bsky.social
Florida Man
@floridaman.bsky.social
450 followers 86 following 1.4K posts
Chicken Soup for the Soulless. #VisitFlorida ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Posts Media Videos Starter Packs
floridaman.bsky.social
Florida Man @floridaman.bsky.social · 7h
I'm moist.
acyn.bsky.social Acyn @acyn.bsky.social · 7h
Mamdani: So hear me, President Trump, when I say this: to get to any of us, you will have to get through all of us.
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floridaman.bsky.social
Florida Man @floridaman.bsky.social · 9h
Welcome to Florida, Cuomo. I see you already know everyone.
5 10
floridaman.bsky.social
Florida Man @floridaman.bsky.social · 12h
Green_Day_-_American_Idiot.mp3
floridaman.bsky.social
Florida Man @floridaman.bsky.social · 12h
I just can't bring myself to watch it yet.
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floridaman.bsky.social
Florida Man @floridaman.bsky.social · 1d
Hell yeah.
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floridaman.bsky.social
Florida Man @floridaman.bsky.social · 1d
Previously owned by Jon Voight?
floridaman.bsky.social
Florida Man @floridaman.bsky.social · 3d
Literally everyone's blood pressure.
1
floridaman.bsky.social
Florida Man @floridaman.bsky.social · 3d
Oh let me guess, you're an ICE bot. Either way, get fucked.
1
floridaman.bsky.social
Florida Man @floridaman.bsky.social · 3d
This is my latest follower. It's impossible to manually follow 321,000 people unless you just sat there day after day after day clicking FOLLOW. Nobody gets 65,000 followers after only 529 posts unless you're that fuckin Hawk Tuah bitch. @safety.bsky.app has completely lost its grip. Fuck this app.
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floridaman.bsky.social
Florida Man @floridaman.bsky.social · 3d
@robertsaintlawrence.social How can you follow 327,000 people
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floridaman.bsky.social
Florida Man @floridaman.bsky.social · 3d
Love this one.
floridaman.bsky.social
Florida Man @floridaman.bsky.social · 4d
. @jd-vance-1.bsky.social
floridaman.bsky.social
Florida Man @floridaman.bsky.social · 4d
🤘
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floridaman.bsky.social
Florida Man @floridaman.bsky.social · 4d
Watching the 2022 Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

The victims are all influencers (I'm not kidding).

It has a 31% on Rotten Tomatoes.

I think it's the feel-good movie of the holiday season.

No, seriously. This movie rips.

Leatherface just chainsawed his way through a busload of influencers. 👍👍 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
floridaman.bsky.social
Florida Man @floridaman.bsky.social · 4d
Because he's Weird Al. If he's gonna do a commercial, it should be for accordion shutters.
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floridaman.bsky.social
Florida Man @floridaman.bsky.social · 4d
Gonna get baked af, eat Chinese takeout, give out candy, and finally watch as much of the Terrifier trilogy as I can tonight.

The teen years of parenthood suck, but not tonight, baby.
a scary clown with a surprised look on his face is wearing a regal shirt .
ALT: a scary clown with a surprised look on his face is wearing a regal shirt .
media.tenor.com
floridaman.bsky.social
Florida Man @floridaman.bsky.social · 4d
He probably bought the couch from Coming to America because it comes pre-lubed.
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floridaman.bsky.social
Florida Man @floridaman.bsky.social · 4d
a man with a beard is wearing a blue suit and a pink tie
ALT: a man with a beard is wearing a blue suit and a pink tie
media.tenor.com
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floridaman.bsky.social
Florida Man @floridaman.bsky.social · 4d
Venn diagram of those opposed to funding SNAP and those who don't give out candy to teenagers or kids without costumes.
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floridaman.bsky.social
Florida Man @floridaman.bsky.social · 4d
Tonight I'm going to put on a suit and dark eyeliner when I give out candy, and then ask every trick-or-treater if they're gonna say "thank you".
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floridaman.bsky.social
Florida Man @floridaman.bsky.social · 4d
You just know there's some obnoxious fuck in Wisconsin promoting a Muenster Mash today.
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floridaman.bsky.social
Florida Man @floridaman.bsky.social · 4d
I spent 15 years in Corporate America and I can absolutely guarantee this is actually happening today.
theonion.com The Onion @theonion.com · 4d
Man Wouldn't Have Worn Costume To Work If He'd Known He Was Getting Laid Off
Man Wouldn't Have Worn Costume To Work If He'd Known He Was Getting Laid Off
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floridaman.bsky.social
Florida Man @floridaman.bsky.social · 4d
Like we always do about this time.
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floridaman.bsky.social
Florida Man @floridaman.bsky.social · 4d
Thriller is not a good song.
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floridaman.bsky.social
Florida Man @floridaman.bsky.social · 5d
Anti-QTip sentiment is nothing more than propaganda from Big Earwax.
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