Fright Shark
@frightshark.bsky.social
I wrote a book about using the toilet
I do the thing where you make your hand numb then jack off but I make the other hand numb instead so it feels like I could be doing anything on the side
November 26, 2025 at 3:08 PM
I do the thing where you make your hand numb then jack off but I make the other hand numb instead so it feels like I could be doing anything on the side
Trying to get my cop neighbor swatted. In my mind it's essentially the same thing as Pokemon battling
November 26, 2025 at 3:05 PM
Trying to get my cop neighbor swatted. In my mind it's essentially the same thing as Pokemon battling
I got home at 6pm and went to sleep at 8pm is that okay. I woke up at 3:30am. Is that okay
November 26, 2025 at 10:07 AM
I got home at 6pm and went to sleep at 8pm is that okay. I woke up at 3:30am. Is that okay
This is a well that's probably been visited a million times but I'm thinking about buying the last place person in my work fantasy football league some WWE merch and forcing them to wear it to the office for a couple of weeks. Specifically Jey Uso merch
November 26, 2025 at 12:55 AM
This is a well that's probably been visited a million times but I'm thinking about buying the last place person in my work fantasy football league some WWE merch and forcing them to wear it to the office for a couple of weeks. Specifically Jey Uso merch
In the future, all death penalties will be carried out via Sims pool with no ladder situations
November 26, 2025 at 12:47 AM
In the future, all death penalties will be carried out via Sims pool with no ladder situations
They call me The Last Cornbender
November 25, 2025 at 9:39 PM
They call me The Last Cornbender
They placed me on IR. I'm out four weeks minimum with a sprained nutsack
November 25, 2025 at 4:43 AM
They placed me on IR. I'm out four weeks minimum with a sprained nutsack
They're calling me the Ted Lasso of jacking off
November 25, 2025 at 4:05 AM
They're calling me the Ted Lasso of jacking off
Doctor said my blood is all fucked up and shitty, gave me 3 months to live. She said if I make it any longer than that she'll kill me herself
November 24, 2025 at 7:11 PM
Doctor said my blood is all fucked up and shitty, gave me 3 months to live. She said if I make it any longer than that she'll kill me herself
I am completely out of ideas. It must be my humours that are causing all of my problems it's the only explanation left
November 23, 2025 at 7:45 AM
I am completely out of ideas. It must be my humours that are causing all of my problems it's the only explanation left
Good first day at the nerd convention I'm getting my friends to all play shit they've never played. Unfortunately I spent like $250
November 22, 2025 at 4:24 AM
Good first day at the nerd convention I'm getting my friends to all play shit they've never played. Unfortunately I spent like $250
If you see me trying to hawk an exclusive box I got last year for a TCG I ended up never playing, no you didn't
November 21, 2025 at 1:29 PM
If you see me trying to hawk an exclusive box I got last year for a TCG I ended up never playing, no you didn't
I am "taking da train to Philadelphia", and by that I mean I'm taking the train to Philadelphia
November 20, 2025 at 5:44 PM
I am "taking da train to Philadelphia", and by that I mean I'm taking the train to Philadelphia
Driving in a new pair of shoes must be equivalent to the thing where you make your hand go numb then jack off
November 19, 2025 at 9:47 PM
Driving in a new pair of shoes must be equivalent to the thing where you make your hand go numb then jack off
Why are you saying "double edged sword" like it's a bad thing? You mean I can cut stuff in two directions with this thing? That rules
November 19, 2025 at 1:22 PM
Why are you saying "double edged sword" like it's a bad thing? You mean I can cut stuff in two directions with this thing? That rules
I dunno man, I've just had a lot on my mind recently... for instance, the Andy Warhol soup can painting but it's goatse
November 19, 2025 at 1:45 AM
I dunno man, I've just had a lot on my mind recently... for instance, the Andy Warhol soup can painting but it's goatse
I get a special feeling when I go to check out at a grocery store and find out I saved zero money. I'm exactly who they want walking around in here
November 18, 2025 at 11:07 PM
I get a special feeling when I go to check out at a grocery store and find out I saved zero money. I'm exactly who they want walking around in here
Thinking about making a new video game and calling it black ops 8, would anyone be interested in helping?
November 17, 2025 at 10:45 PM
Thinking about making a new video game and calling it black ops 8, would anyone be interested in helping?
My dad has sent me five reels today of Indian guys doing covers of popular rap songs and I'm convinced that's why the Seahawks lost
November 17, 2025 at 12:12 AM
My dad has sent me five reels today of Indian guys doing covers of popular rap songs and I'm convinced that's why the Seahawks lost
I'm at my grandparents' house which means Fox News on all day baby. Just saw a commercial asking for donations to Israel like are we not sending them enough already against our will
November 16, 2025 at 3:22 PM
I'm at my grandparents' house which means Fox News on all day baby. Just saw a commercial asking for donations to Israel like are we not sending them enough already against our will
Just saw murder by death live for the 13th or 14th time, and also it's their second to last show ever. I am inconsolable
November 15, 2025 at 3:53 AM
Just saw murder by death live for the 13th or 14th time, and also it's their second to last show ever. I am inconsolable
I miss the days before language filters in video games. If I'm playing a single player game let me name my character Dr. Fuckhole it's not hurting anyone
November 14, 2025 at 7:48 PM
I miss the days before language filters in video games. If I'm playing a single player game let me name my character Dr. Fuckhole it's not hurting anyone
Attaching a fleshlight to a Roomba then sitting naked in a random part of my house with my eyes closed hoping it happens
November 14, 2025 at 4:09 AM
Attaching a fleshlight to a Roomba then sitting naked in a random part of my house with my eyes closed hoping it happens
I have a friend who thinks the economy only affects him because he's the only one in our group who owns a home
November 11, 2025 at 7:44 PM
I have a friend who thinks the economy only affects him because he's the only one in our group who owns a home
I hereby grant you permission to take a three hour nap. I'll see you there
November 11, 2025 at 11:55 AM
I hereby grant you permission to take a three hour nap. I'll see you there