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Dave Merritt @goldenseals67.bsky.social · 5d

Peeps are calling for this to be officially entered into the lexicon, and I’m down with that. I could use a break.

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Dave Merritt @goldenseals67.bsky.social · 7d

Being a smart scientist is cool as shit. And you also used “front” as a verb. Bruh—you’re cool.

Dave Merritt @goldenseals67.bsky.social · 8d

Sorry, but pretty much the highest compliment you could receive right now is to be told that something you’ve done is “Un-American.”

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Dave Merritt @goldenseals67.bsky.social · 12d

No Watercolourgates?

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Dave Merritt @goldenseals67.bsky.social · 12d

Should be fine

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Dave Merritt @goldenseals67.bsky.social · 14d

You suck. Is this doing your job? Try harder— you have about three days left before it’s too late.

Dave Merritt @goldenseals67.bsky.social · 14d

That’s your T-shirt, right there

Dave Merritt @goldenseals67.bsky.social · 14d

TOP 5 WORST DENTAL HIP HOP ARTISTS:

5. Big Daddy Novocaine
4. TIE: Kool Molar Dee / Ghostface Drillah
3. The Roots Canal
2. TIE: TMJ-Z / Cardi B-40
1. Toothpac Shakur

#Top5Worst

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Dave Merritt @goldenseals67.bsky.social · 14d

I look exactly like this in that I have a peacoat and a shirt.

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Dave Merritt @goldenseals67.bsky.social · 16d

It’s the Night of the Short Penises

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Dave Merritt @goldenseals67.bsky.social · 16d

I would pay to see Rob Sexsmith and Bob Scaggs…

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Dave Merritt @goldenseals67.bsky.social · 16d

Now is not the time for a Battle of the Bulge joke (is it?).

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Dave Merritt @goldenseals67.bsky.social · 18d

🙏👊🏻

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Dave Merritt @goldenseals67.bsky.social · 18d

Poor guy blew it twice!

Dave Merritt @goldenseals67.bsky.social · 18d

This is a pretty odd coincidence considering the day, but I can’t believe the Toronto Raptures just signed a guy named Tylenol Kimmel. You can’t make this stuff up…

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Dave Merritt @goldenseals67.bsky.social · 18d

UNintelligent

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Dave Merritt @goldenseals67.bsky.social · 18d

TOP 5 WORST REALITY SHOWS:

5. Courtney Love Island
4. DHS Cribs
3. Jersey Shore Leave
2. TIE: Survivor (the band)/Real Houseflies of Salt Lake City
1. Shart Tank

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Dave Merritt @goldenseals67.bsky.social · 18d

If there’s one celebrity who is absolutely talentless except for her ability to deliver your groceries, it’s probably Kim DoorDashian.

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Dave Merritt @goldenseals67.bsky.social · 19d

Should be fine

Dave Merritt @goldenseals67.bsky.social · 20d

"I am the White House and I am stunned. He's never done anything crazy or stupid or criminal or dictator-y before."

Dave Merritt @goldenseals67.bsky.social · 20d

I’ve always wanted to go! Have you been to Stratford, Ontario? Top-drawer. Great hotel there now (The Bruce). Let’s hang out.

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Dave Merritt @goldenseals67.bsky.social · 20d

TOP 5 WORST BEATLES SCI-FI SONGS:

5. Mothra My Dear
4. I Am the WALL-E
3. Get Back to the Future
2. TIE: The Long and Winding Road Warrior / Doc Ocktopuss’s Garden
1. Ellen O. Ripley

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Dave Merritt @goldenseals67.bsky.social · 20d

How do you propose to get a grip on it if the courts and Congress are 100% ineffective in stopping it?

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Dave Merritt @goldenseals67.bsky.social · 21d

I would be proud to partake of your pecan pie

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Dave Merritt @goldenseals67.bsky.social · 21d

One of my favourite, little-used adjectives is “donzerly,” as in “donzerly light,” from that song you hear at sporting events.

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