Goose
@goosebass.bsky.social
I’m here to bring the funk and a good attitude. bass player for Brozie O’Donnell, formerly of Benchmarks, blog boy at Pats Pulpit, Wall of Weiners Champion at Cori’s Doghouse
Pinned
Goose
@goosebass.bsky.social
· 19d
*massive vape rip* Drake Maye is who Trevor Lawrence was supposed to be and JJ McCarthy is who everyone fretting about Drake’s footwork and mechanics thought he would be
The arms race of portion sizes at brunch is so outrageous that sometimes it’s refreshing to roll into a new place and find “wow. A normal ass diner plate of bacon and eggs”
December 7, 2025 at 7:55 PM
The arms race of portion sizes at brunch is so outrageous that sometimes it’s refreshing to roll into a new place and find “wow. A normal ass diner plate of bacon and eggs”
We’re watching the SEC Championship and I could swear I just saw a blitzer lightly tap a quarterback and….there wasn’t a flag? Do I need new contacts? Is this a sign of a stroke??
December 6, 2025 at 9:33 PM
We’re watching the SEC Championship and I could swear I just saw a blitzer lightly tap a quarterback and….there wasn’t a flag? Do I need new contacts? Is this a sign of a stroke??
A good distillery tour is like what Old Sturbridge Village would be like if it was cool
December 6, 2025 at 7:41 PM
A good distillery tour is like what Old Sturbridge Village would be like if it was cool
Friday night Celtics giving the Lakers the business?
a woman in a striped suit is looking up at the sun
ALT: a woman in a striped suit is looking up at the sun
media.tenor.com
December 6, 2025 at 1:27 AM
Friday night Celtics giving the Lakers the business?
Kind of surprised that this aspect isn’t being brought up more in Drake’s MVP case. Yeah he makes it look easy, but every down it’s masters-level advanced QB shit that no 23-year-old should be able to do! He’s the freshman who knows how to play every Metallica guitar solo
December 5, 2025 at 9:24 PM
Kind of surprised that this aspect isn’t being brought up more in Drake’s MVP case. Yeah he makes it look easy, but every down it’s masters-level advanced QB shit that no 23-year-old should be able to do! He’s the freshman who knows how to play every Metallica guitar solo
A setting like in gambling apps where it locks you out after X amount of time but it’s your fantasy football app telling you “enough. stop tinkering. No mas. go be normal”
December 5, 2025 at 6:33 PM
A setting like in gambling apps where it locks you out after X amount of time but it’s your fantasy football app telling you “enough. stop tinkering. No mas. go be normal”
Reposted by Goose
thought portnoy was leaving new york cause of mamdani
🚨 TINY SNOWFLAKES IN NYC SPOTTED 🚨
December 5, 2025 at 6:16 PM
thought portnoy was leaving new york cause of mamdani
Crazy part about our godking constantly involuntarily snoozing in meetings is it’s well-documented that he’s (ab)used prescription speed for *decades*.
So 1 of 2 things is true: even that can’t keep his eyes open anymore, or his doc said to cut that shit out before his body short-circuits again
So 1 of 2 things is true: even that can’t keep his eyes open anymore, or his doc said to cut that shit out before his body short-circuits again
December 5, 2025 at 5:14 PM
Crazy part about our godking constantly involuntarily snoozing in meetings is it’s well-documented that he’s (ab)used prescription speed for *decades*.
So 1 of 2 things is true: even that can’t keep his eyes open anymore, or his doc said to cut that shit out before his body short-circuits again
So 1 of 2 things is true: even that can’t keep his eyes open anymore, or his doc said to cut that shit out before his body short-circuits again
Ok I am man enough to admit when I was wrong. That was frickin fun
I agreed to go with a buddy to see Avatar tonight and after doing the “listen to their top 5” test I think I should have packed a bigger flask
December 5, 2025 at 5:54 AM
Ok I am man enough to admit when I was wrong. That was frickin fun
I agreed to go with a buddy to see Avatar tonight and after doing the “listen to their top 5” test I think I should have packed a bigger flask
December 4, 2025 at 10:53 PM
I agreed to go with a buddy to see Avatar tonight and after doing the “listen to their top 5” test I think I should have packed a bigger flask
Reposted by Goose
DOJ's newest recruitment ad features Judge Dredd, the comic satire about the dangers of lawless policing and authoritarian power
December 4, 2025 at 9:41 PM
DOJ's newest recruitment ad features Judge Dredd, the comic satire about the dangers of lawless policing and authoritarian power
Reposted by Goose
It would be a near historic low point for the award but honestly week by week it gets harder and harder to argue against
Be serious: do you think Drake Maye is really the MVP?
December 4, 2025 at 5:54 PM
It would be a near historic low point for the award but honestly week by week it gets harder and harder to argue against
Be serious: do you think Drake Maye is really the MVP?
December 4, 2025 at 5:53 PM
Be serious: do you think Drake Maye is really the MVP?
Reposted by Goose
Public smoking bans just got in under the wire, too. Younger folks might not realize how rare they used to be and how hard they were to enact.
it is MIRACULOUS that we got rid of lead paint and asbestos when we did. if we had tried that today, there would be people whining about how we're restricting their rights.
Bring back residential-use lead paint, you cowards.
December 4, 2025 at 3:44 PM
Public smoking bans just got in under the wire, too. Younger folks might not realize how rare they used to be and how hard they were to enact.
why, did we give away $150,000,000 to rich private school families to pay for their kids private school that they already go to anyway or something?
December 4, 2025 at 4:50 PM
why, did we give away $150,000,000 to rich private school families to pay for their kids private school that they already go to anyway or something?
A real thing that Ben Solak just said is “the ineptitude of the 2024 Patriots has been greatly exaggerated to create the myth of the 2025 Vrabel effect”
December 4, 2025 at 3:21 PM
A real thing that Ben Solak just said is “the ineptitude of the 2024 Patriots has been greatly exaggerated to create the myth of the 2025 Vrabel effect”
Upholding the Constitution including but not limited to: allowing the godking to extrajudicially murder civilians at sea, deploy and quarter troops and secret police in American cities, abducting civilians without charges or due process, and ceding Congress’s explicit power to impose tariffs
JUST NOW: Van Epps immediately sworn in by Speaker Johnson, vows to support and defend the constitution*
(* = whatever Trump tells him to)
(* = whatever Trump tells him to)
December 4, 2025 at 3:16 PM
Upholding the Constitution including but not limited to: allowing the godking to extrajudicially murder civilians at sea, deploy and quarter troops and secret police in American cities, abducting civilians without charges or due process, and ceding Congress’s explicit power to impose tariffs
Shit. I just realized I did the greater/less than sign here backwards. It’s supposed to say Drake is 1 of only 2 QBs who loses *less than* 5 yards per sack (on average, of course)
Don’t tweet before you finish your coffee, kids
Don’t tweet before you finish your coffee, kids
IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS with the stat that while Drake Maye does indeed have the 3rd-most sacks in the NFL, he is 1 of only 2 QBs who loses > 5 yards per sack
December 3, 2025 at 10:46 PM
Shit. I just realized I did the greater/less than sign here backwards. It’s supposed to say Drake is 1 of only 2 QBs who loses *less than* 5 yards per sack (on average, of course)
Don’t tweet before you finish your coffee, kids
Don’t tweet before you finish your coffee, kids
Reposted by Goose
He should challenge her to take a televised quiz on the Constitution with him, so he can show he knows more about it.
They could each take the cognitive test too, and show who can identify the most zoo animals.
They could each take the cognitive test too, and show who can identify the most zoo animals.
Trump: "It’s a hellhole right now. And those Somalians should be out of here. They've destroyed our country. And all they do is complain, complain, complain. You have her. She’s always talking about the Constitution provides me with – go back to your own country and figure out your constitution."
December 3, 2025 at 9:38 PM
He should challenge her to take a televised quiz on the Constitution with him, so he can show he knows more about it.
They could each take the cognitive test too, and show who can identify the most zoo animals.
They could each take the cognitive test too, and show who can identify the most zoo animals.
I really hope he keeps fucking this chicken and we get more Trump Explains How Life Works gems like during Covid when he said you show your ID to buy groceries and they put them on your tab
Trump: It's a con job. I think affordability is the greatest con job
December 3, 2025 at 9:30 PM
I really hope he keeps fucking this chicken and we get more Trump Explains How Life Works gems like during Covid when he said you show your ID to buy groceries and they put them on your tab
Haha well I nailed 3 out of 5, not quite as high as Drake Maye’s completion percentage but I’ll take it.
The Dirty Nil is the best rock band that no one knows about
The Dirty Nil is the best rock band that no one knows about
December 3, 2025 at 7:17 PM
Haha well I nailed 3 out of 5, not quite as high as Drake Maye’s completion percentage but I’ll take it.
The Dirty Nil is the best rock band that no one knows about
The Dirty Nil is the best rock band that no one knows about
They’re calling it the end of an era, for the first time in a decade Goose’s Top 5 includes neither Hatebreed OR Carly Rae Jepsen
December 3, 2025 at 6:56 PM
They’re calling it the end of an era, for the first time in a decade Goose’s Top 5 includes neither Hatebreed OR Carly Rae Jepsen
Reposted by Goose
If that happens they should just shut the whole operation down.
I still can’t shake the feeling that they’re gonna deny Bill so he doesn’t have the First Ballot Hall Of Famer cred because reasons
Bill Belichick, Robert Kraft are finalists for the Pro Football Hall of Fame.
www.nbcsports.com/nfl/profootb...
www.nbcsports.com/nfl/profootb...
December 3, 2025 at 6:11 PM
If that happens they should just shut the whole operation down.
Pats offensive line only allowed a 25% pressure rate against the New York Football Giants with 2 backups playing 100% of the snaps on the left side and a center with a tummyache
December 3, 2025 at 6:30 PM
Pats offensive line only allowed a 25% pressure rate against the New York Football Giants with 2 backups playing 100% of the snaps on the left side and a center with a tummyache