GOP Jesus
@gopjesus.bsky.social
A parody account for the GOP’s interpretation of Jesus’s will and teachings. Half parody, half commentary, half theories. https://linktr.ee/gopjesus
Pinned
GOP Jesus
@gopjesus.bsky.social
· Mar 25
Whoa! Did anyone else get this invitation from the White House?
To be clear, Dear Demagogue means “white birth rate” whenever he says “birth rate.“
November 28, 2025 at 7:23 PM
To be clear, Dear Demagogue means “white birth rate” whenever he says “birth rate.“
If only Trump hadn’t deployed Sarah to a relatively safe American city then she wouldn’t have been on that corner in the first place.
If only Trump had vetted the immigrant shooter better.
If only Trump hadn’t approved the shooter’s asylum request then he wouldn’t be here.
If only Trump had vetted the immigrant shooter better.
If only Trump hadn’t approved the shooter’s asylum request then he wouldn’t be here.
November 28, 2025 at 3:23 AM
If only Trump hadn’t deployed Sarah to a relatively safe American city then she wouldn’t have been on that corner in the first place.
If only Trump had vetted the immigrant shooter better.
If only Trump hadn’t approved the shooter’s asylum request then he wouldn’t be here.
If only Trump had vetted the immigrant shooter better.
If only Trump hadn’t approved the shooter’s asylum request then he wouldn’t be here.
It’s only a matter of time.
November 28, 2025 at 3:02 AM
It’s only a matter of time.
This is sad. Real Americans are just pawn to the elites. Soldiers should never be deployed to “patrol” cities for show. We have trained cops for that.
Civilians don’t need guns, but they make MAGA d*cks hard, so any crazy moron can get one.
Wake up, America! You’re being used!
Civilians don’t need guns, but they make MAGA d*cks hard, so any crazy moron can get one.
Wake up, America! You’re being used!
November 28, 2025 at 12:15 AM
This is sad. Real Americans are just pawn to the elites. Soldiers should never be deployed to “patrol” cities for show. We have trained cops for that.
Civilians don’t need guns, but they make MAGA d*cks hard, so any crazy moron can get one.
Wake up, America! You’re being used!
Civilians don’t need guns, but they make MAGA d*cks hard, so any crazy moron can get one.
Wake up, America! You’re being used!
Imagine how many needless deaths would be avoided if only civilians weren’t allowed to have guns.
Immediate aftermath of DC National Guard shooting.👇
Immediate aftermath of DC National Guard shooting.👇
November 27, 2025 at 4:53 AM
Imagine how many needless deaths would be avoided if only civilians weren’t allowed to have guns.
Immediate aftermath of DC National Guard shooting.👇
Immediate aftermath of DC National Guard shooting.👇
WOW! America only goes UP under President Trump’s TREMENDOUS economic leadership!
Gas prices are UP 42% from five years ago. Has there ever been ANY another President who could do that?
Gas prices are UP 42% from five years ago. Has there ever been ANY another President who could do that?
November 25, 2025 at 2:41 AM
WOW! America only goes UP under President Trump’s TREMENDOUS economic leadership!
Gas prices are UP 42% from five years ago. Has there ever been ANY another President who could do that?
Gas prices are UP 42% from five years ago. Has there ever been ANY another President who could do that?
WARNING: I'm putting the final touches on my MASSIVE (well, 110-page leaked version of the Epstein Files. You won't believe what you see (or don't see, as the case may be)!
Stay tuned
Stay tuned
November 23, 2025 at 10:41 PM
WARNING: I'm putting the final touches on my MASSIVE (well, 110-page leaked version of the Epstein Files. You won't believe what you see (or don't see, as the case may be)!
Stay tuned
Stay tuned
Elon Musk is calling for riots now.
November 23, 2025 at 4:05 PM
Elon Musk is calling for riots now.
BREAKING: Libs Fear Mongering Over “Inflation”
Everyone knows “what goes up must come down.”
President Trump is the greatest economic brain in history (he grajuated top of the classes). He knows what he’s doing. America loves and trusts him. His intentions are so pure.
Everyone knows “what goes up must come down.”
President Trump is the greatest economic brain in history (he grajuated top of the classes). He knows what he’s doing. America loves and trusts him. His intentions are so pure.
November 23, 2025 at 3:51 PM
BREAKING: Libs Fear Mongering Over “Inflation”
Everyone knows “what goes up must come down.”
President Trump is the greatest economic brain in history (he grajuated top of the classes). He knows what he’s doing. America loves and trusts him. His intentions are so pure.
Everyone knows “what goes up must come down.”
President Trump is the greatest economic brain in history (he grajuated top of the classes). He knows what he’s doing. America loves and trusts him. His intentions are so pure.
BREAKING: President Trump's X Account's True Location Stuns and Shocks Nation
Little Saint James Island, otherwise known as "Pedo Island," was formerly owned by billionaire and noted philanthropist Jeffrey Epstein.
1/2
Little Saint James Island, otherwise known as "Pedo Island," was formerly owned by billionaire and noted philanthropist Jeffrey Epstein.
1/2
November 23, 2025 at 6:42 AM
BREAKING: President Trump's X Account's True Location Stuns and Shocks Nation
Little Saint James Island, otherwise known as "Pedo Island," was formerly owned by billionaire and noted philanthropist Jeffrey Epstein.
1/2
Little Saint James Island, otherwise known as "Pedo Island," was formerly owned by billionaire and noted philanthropist Jeffrey Epstein.
1/2
OOPS! Massive numbers of high-profile MAGA fantroll accounts were exposed as foreign psyops when X enabled a feature that showed the account’s actual location.
It was quickly shut off again when Musk realized the damage the truth was doing.
It was quickly shut off again when Musk realized the damage the truth was doing.
November 22, 2025 at 4:14 PM
OOPS! Massive numbers of high-profile MAGA fantroll accounts were exposed as foreign psyops when X enabled a feature that showed the account’s actual location.
It was quickly shut off again when Musk realized the damage the truth was doing.
It was quickly shut off again when Musk realized the damage the truth was doing.
GOP Bible Verse of the Day for Nov 21, 2025:
"Do not be of one accord, but separate yourselves by race and tongue."
– GOP Bible Acts 2:44
"Do not be of one accord, but separate yourselves by race and tongue."
– GOP Bible Acts 2:44
November 21, 2025 at 11:09 PM
GOP Bible Verse of the Day for Nov 21, 2025:
"Do not be of one accord, but separate yourselves by race and tongue."
– GOP Bible Acts 2:44
"Do not be of one accord, but separate yourselves by race and tongue."
– GOP Bible Acts 2:44
Libs are freaking out again, just like they always do but MAGAs (more smarter by the way!) know that he is saying that George Washington hanged their photographs on the British Post Office’s lobby wall!
November 20, 2025 at 3:21 PM
Libs are freaking out again, just like they always do but MAGAs (more smarter by the way!) know that he is saying that George Washington hanged their photographs on the British Post Office’s lobby wall!
BREAKING: Ted Cruz to Run For President Against Donald Trump In 2028
Traitor!
Traitor!
November 17, 2025 at 9:09 PM
BREAKING: Ted Cruz to Run For President Against Donald Trump In 2028
Traitor!
Traitor!
What was really in those Epstein Files “Phase 1” binders?
Asking for a friend.
Asking for a friend.
November 16, 2025 at 7:22 PM
What was really in those Epstein Files “Phase 1” binders?
Asking for a friend.
Asking for a friend.
America, ask yourself this: are you better off today than you were 10 months ago before Trump took his wrecking ball (sorry, "tariffs") to the American economy? (From usafactchecks.com.)
November 10, 2025 at 8:53 PM
America, ask yourself this: are you better off today than you were 10 months ago before Trump took his wrecking ball (sorry, "tariffs") to the American economy? (From usafactchecks.com.)
Reposted by GOP Jesus
I made a bunch of calls to DC this morning and it really gets me that they dont have enough staff to answer OUR calls.
But I bet you the lobbying groups for the major airlines have these senator's cell phone numbers.
Thats who they actually work for.
Their billionaire donors.
Destroy blue maga.
But I bet you the lobbying groups for the major airlines have these senator's cell phone numbers.
Thats who they actually work for.
Their billionaire donors.
Destroy blue maga.
November 10, 2025 at 2:46 PM
I made a bunch of calls to DC this morning and it really gets me that they dont have enough staff to answer OUR calls.
But I bet you the lobbying groups for the major airlines have these senator's cell phone numbers.
Thats who they actually work for.
Their billionaire donors.
Destroy blue maga.
But I bet you the lobbying groups for the major airlines have these senator's cell phone numbers.
Thats who they actually work for.
Their billionaire donors.
Destroy blue maga.
Anyone else feel like we’re stuck in the politics version of the movie Groundhog Day? pub.gop-jesus.com/schumer-surr...
Schumer Surrenders
Democrats will never win if they never fight!
pub.gop-jesus.com
November 10, 2025 at 4:28 AM
Anyone else feel like we’re stuck in the politics version of the movie Groundhog Day? pub.gop-jesus.com/schumer-surr...
Because Trump and the GOP were willing to starve children and are crueler than Democrats, tens of millions of Americans are going to pay thousands of dollars more for the crappiest health insurance the medical industrial complex can get away with.
Do I have that right?
Do I have that right?
November 10, 2025 at 1:58 AM
Because Trump and the GOP were willing to starve children and are crueler than Democrats, tens of millions of Americans are going to pay thousands of dollars more for the crappiest health insurance the medical industrial complex can get away with.
Do I have that right?
Do I have that right?
UPDATE: Trump Threatens Penalties to States Who Feed Their Citizens
With Trump, cruelty is official policy.
With Trump, cruelty is official policy.
November 9, 2025 at 4:12 PM
UPDATE: Trump Threatens Penalties to States Who Feed Their Citizens
With Trump, cruelty is official policy.
With Trump, cruelty is official policy.
Imagine a leader going to court to prevent hungry people, including children, from getting food to eat.
Now imagine a court actually siding with the cruel tyrant who is intentionally starving his citizens.
Congratulations: you just imagined Donald Trump and his “great” America.
Now imagine a court actually siding with the cruel tyrant who is intentionally starving his citizens.
Congratulations: you just imagined Donald Trump and his “great” America.
November 8, 2025 at 3:14 AM
Imagine a leader going to court to prevent hungry people, including children, from getting food to eat.
Now imagine a court actually siding with the cruel tyrant who is intentionally starving his citizens.
Congratulations: you just imagined Donald Trump and his “great” America.
Now imagine a court actually siding with the cruel tyrant who is intentionally starving his citizens.
Congratulations: you just imagined Donald Trump and his “great” America.
Elon Musk blames “inefficiency” for starvation and failed economies in dictatorships like North Korea and communist East Germany.
You can’t make up idiocy this stupid.
You can’t make up idiocy this stupid.
November 6, 2025 at 7:35 AM
Elon Musk blames “inefficiency” for starvation and failed economies in dictatorships like North Korea and communist East Germany.
You can’t make up idiocy this stupid.
You can’t make up idiocy this stupid.
Yo, MAGA, how does it feel now that Democrats are fighting back and giving you a taste of your own medicine?
November 5, 2025 at 5:17 AM
Yo, MAGA, how does it feel now that Democrats are fighting back and giving you a taste of your own medicine?
BREAKING: Americans are REJECTING Donald Trump and his authoritarian power grab and policed all over the country tonight.
GOP MAGAs are quaking in their crocs from New York to Mar-a-Lago!
Sad!
GOP MAGAs are quaking in their crocs from New York to Mar-a-Lago!
Sad!
November 5, 2025 at 4:11 AM
BREAKING: Americans are REJECTING Donald Trump and his authoritarian power grab and policed all over the country tonight.
GOP MAGAs are quaking in their crocs from New York to Mar-a-Lago!
Sad!
GOP MAGAs are quaking in their crocs from New York to Mar-a-Lago!
Sad!
How long will it take Trump to send his ICE thugs to attack Latino Dodgers fans celebrating their World Series win tonight in Los Angeles?
November 2, 2025 at 5:10 AM
How long will it take Trump to send his ICE thugs to attack Latino Dodgers fans celebrating their World Series win tonight in Los Angeles?