Gordon
@gordon.jagreview.com
every day I am bad at video games and sometimes I write about those video games for @jagreview.com
I write video game reviews for fun, for free, and as little creative writing exercises
all game reviews aim to fit on Steam
please enable my bad takes
I write video game reviews for fun, for free, and as little creative writing exercises
all game reviews aim to fit on Steam
please enable my bad takes
Pinned
Gordon
@gordon.jagreview.com
· Dec 16
@michael.jagreview.com you may remove it from your account but I will always have this and this is enough
between MindsEye and Code Violet I firmly believe that truly terrible games bring people together and unite them better than any other force in the world
January 11, 2026 at 5:08 PM
between MindsEye and Code Violet I firmly believe that truly terrible games bring people together and unite them better than any other force in the world
bro I hate peak I didn't mean to forsake the British (this time) why did he have to haunt me the rest of the way I just wanted to HELP
December 26, 2025 at 3:27 PM
bro I hate peak I didn't mean to forsake the British (this time) why did he have to haunt me the rest of the way I just wanted to HELP
why does unbeatable know about my vacation destination goals
December 24, 2025 at 3:43 AM
why does unbeatable know about my vacation destination goals
I think I've nailed down my best and worst games of 2025.
Top 6 Best:
1. Expedition 33
2. Hades II
3. Dispatch
4. Monster Hunter Wilds
5. Metroid Prime 4
6. Split Fiction
Top Doodoo Worst (Shared):
1. Assassin's Creed Shadows and Battlefield 6
Top 6 Best:
1. Expedition 33
2. Hades II
3. Dispatch
4. Monster Hunter Wilds
5. Metroid Prime 4
6. Split Fiction
Top Doodoo Worst (Shared):
1. Assassin's Creed Shadows and Battlefield 6
December 22, 2025 at 8:44 PM
I think I've nailed down my best and worst games of 2025.
Top 6 Best:
1. Expedition 33
2. Hades II
3. Dispatch
4. Monster Hunter Wilds
5. Metroid Prime 4
6. Split Fiction
Top Doodoo Worst (Shared):
1. Assassin's Creed Shadows and Battlefield 6
Top 6 Best:
1. Expedition 33
2. Hades II
3. Dispatch
4. Monster Hunter Wilds
5. Metroid Prime 4
6. Split Fiction
Top Doodoo Worst (Shared):
1. Assassin's Creed Shadows and Battlefield 6
mindseye is terrible the story is paced HORRIBLY how did this even get pushed out the door
December 21, 2025 at 6:48 PM
mindseye is terrible the story is paced HORRIBLY how did this even get pushed out the door
ok steam sale it is time.....................
December 19, 2025 at 3:53 AM
ok steam sale it is time.....................
Reposted by Gordon
Dispatch on Nintendo Switch 1 runs at 30 fps and 720p, while on Switch 2, it runs at 60 frames per second and 1440p.
December 19, 2025 at 2:08 AM
Dispatch on Nintendo Switch 1 runs at 30 fps and 720p, while on Switch 2, it runs at 60 frames per second and 1440p.
gemma this is a wendy's ma'am...................................
December 19, 2025 at 2:20 AM
gemma this is a wendy's ma'am...................................
The Larian AI thing is funny when people say they won't support them because Larian still pays their artists to do work on the game.
People have become so anti-AI in the stupidest way that they've come back around to claiming they won't support a developer that actually pays their artists. Insane.
People have become so anti-AI in the stupidest way that they've come back around to claiming they won't support a developer that actually pays their artists. Insane.
December 19, 2025 at 1:26 AM
The Larian AI thing is funny when people say they won't support them because Larian still pays their artists to do work on the game.
People have become so anti-AI in the stupidest way that they've come back around to claiming they won't support a developer that actually pays their artists. Insane.
People have become so anti-AI in the stupidest way that they've come back around to claiming they won't support a developer that actually pays their artists. Insane.
I'm as anti-AI as they come, and this Larian AI thing is the most nothingburger I've ever seen. A big studio that hires talent, using that talent for their final product, using AI in the Throwing Shit At The Wall phase of game dev, only to replace it with their talent's work is such a nontroversy.
December 16, 2025 at 10:22 PM
I'm as anti-AI as they come, and this Larian AI thing is the most nothingburger I've ever seen. A big studio that hires talent, using that talent for their final product, using AI in the Throwing Shit At The Wall phase of game dev, only to replace it with their talent's work is such a nontroversy.
Reposted by Gordon
it's honestly embarrassing how much I spent just having Rivals open on a menu doing absolutely nothing vs how much time I actually played the game
December 16, 2025 at 7:31 PM
it's honestly embarrassing how much I spent just having Rivals open on a menu doing absolutely nothing vs how much time I actually played the game
not sure that's what playing unbeatable should be resulting in but yeah sure why not
December 15, 2025 at 12:34 AM
not sure that's what playing unbeatable should be resulting in but yeah sure why not
Perhaps I spoke too soon.........................
December 13, 2025 at 8:56 PM
Perhaps I spoke too soon.........................
While I prefer to eat insulation myself, my friend pointed out that Drywall Eating Simulator by @peripheralplaybox.com has recently been released, and I think there's finally a game that truly represents who I am......
December 13, 2025 at 8:49 PM
While I prefer to eat insulation myself, my friend pointed out that Drywall Eating Simulator by @peripheralplaybox.com has recently been released, and I think there's finally a game that truly represents who I am......
After reading the thoughts and feelings of E33 winning best indie awards, and even it just being nominated in those categories to begin with, I thought about what really makes an indie game. I honestly don't think there's a true set answer, at least not today, but I definitely have feelings on it.
December 13, 2025 at 7:08 PM
After reading the thoughts and feelings of E33 winning best indie awards, and even it just being nominated in those categories to begin with, I thought about what really makes an indie game. I honestly don't think there's a true set answer, at least not today, but I definitely have feelings on it.
Seeing how much has to go into this is actually one of the most disgusting things I've seen
What goes into making a bag of chips in a AAA-level game? A lot more than you'd think, actually.
@yahtzeecroshaw.bsky.social explores the topic for this week's Semi-Ramblomatic, available now!
Presented by @playtracker.bsky.social.
@yahtzeecroshaw.bsky.social explores the topic for this week's Semi-Ramblomatic, available now!
Presented by @playtracker.bsky.social.
AAA Development vs. a Bag of Chips | Semi-Ramblomatic
YouTube video by Second Wind
youtu.be
December 11, 2025 at 6:02 PM
Seeing how much has to go into this is actually one of the most disgusting things I've seen
Big thanks to @dcellgames.com for having a selection in Unbeatable about loving rhythm games and being terrible at them I feel SEEN
December 10, 2025 at 2:23 AM
Big thanks to @dcellgames.com for having a selection in Unbeatable about loving rhythm games and being terrible at them I feel SEEN
Reposted by Gordon
Caves of Qud has two kinds of cybernetic implants:
A. A device too small for the human eye, capable of manipulating the very fabric of reality to let you warp through space at will
B. Yaoi hands
A. A device too small for the human eye, capable of manipulating the very fabric of reality to let you warp through space at will
B. Yaoi hands
December 1, 2025 at 2:26 AM
Caves of Qud has two kinds of cybernetic implants:
A. A device too small for the human eye, capable of manipulating the very fabric of reality to let you warp through space at will
B. Yaoi hands
A. A device too small for the human eye, capable of manipulating the very fabric of reality to let you warp through space at will
B. Yaoi hands
Reposted by Gordon
"I went in expecting another second monitor "number go up" time killer and wound up with a shockingly compelling mystery story that sat firmly on my main monitor basically the whole way through." - @michael.jagreview.com
Read the full review for Asbury Pines here: jagreview.com/2025/11/24/r...
Read the full review for Asbury Pines here: jagreview.com/2025/11/24/r...
Review: Asbury Pines (2025)
Platform(s): PC (Steam) Version: Early Access v3.00.004 Verdict: POSITIVE Short Answer: An incremental resource management game with a time-hopping murder mystery narrative twist. The gameplay is s…
jagreview.com
November 25, 2025 at 2:18 AM
"I went in expecting another second monitor "number go up" time killer and wound up with a shockingly compelling mystery story that sat firmly on my main monitor basically the whole way through." - @michael.jagreview.com
Read the full review for Asbury Pines here: jagreview.com/2025/11/24/r...
Read the full review for Asbury Pines here: jagreview.com/2025/11/24/r...
I crawled out of my hole to play Battlefield 6. I should have stayed in the hole. It sucks. It's worse than living in the hole. It made me miss the dark, cold hole. Don't play it. It is bad.
I wrote a review of it for @jagreview.com. You can read the full review here: jagreview.com/2025/11/14/r...
I wrote a review of it for @jagreview.com. You can read the full review here: jagreview.com/2025/11/14/r...
Review: Battlefield 6 (2025)
Platform(s): PC (Steam, Epic Games, EA App), PS5, Xbox Series X|S Verdict: NEGATIVE I haven’t regularly played a modern military shooter in many years, and Battlefield 6 does nothing to make me wan…
jagreview.com
November 15, 2025 at 5:14 AM
I crawled out of my hole to play Battlefield 6. I should have stayed in the hole. It sucks. It's worse than living in the hole. It made me miss the dark, cold hole. Don't play it. It is bad.
I wrote a review of it for @jagreview.com. You can read the full review here: jagreview.com/2025/11/14/r...
I wrote a review of it for @jagreview.com. You can read the full review here: jagreview.com/2025/11/14/r...
I did NOT invest in a sleep weapon just so you BOZOS could just keep swinging this Mizutsune hit you with what you DESERVED #MonsterHunter
July 3, 2025 at 12:56 AM
I did NOT invest in a sleep weapon just so you BOZOS could just keep swinging this Mizutsune hit you with what you DESERVED #MonsterHunter
Reposted by Gordon
Perfect Dark is cancelled, and The Initiative is gone.
What an astonishingly dark day.
I feel awful for the people involved. Utter vandalism.
www.videogameschronicle.com/news/xbox-ha...
What an astonishingly dark day.
I feel awful for the people involved. Utter vandalism.
www.videogameschronicle.com/news/xbox-ha...
July 2, 2025 at 5:11 PM
Perfect Dark is cancelled, and The Initiative is gone.
What an astonishingly dark day.
I feel awful for the people involved. Utter vandalism.
www.videogameschronicle.com/news/xbox-ha...
What an astonishingly dark day.
I feel awful for the people involved. Utter vandalism.
www.videogameschronicle.com/news/xbox-ha...
Taskmaster was so real for saying this.
May 28, 2025 at 9:51 PM
Taskmaster was so real for saying this.
Spider-Man going a little too bootlicker there for me.
May 28, 2025 at 8:25 PM
Spider-Man going a little too bootlicker there for me.