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greenleejw.bsky.social
Surprised Eel Historian, PhD
@greenleejw.bsky.social
28K followers 330 following 7.8K posts
Surprised historian, not surprised eels.

Doctor of medieval things. Talkin’ eels, history, and maps. Spaniel mourner. Alt-text artist.

I draw custom maps and artwork on commission:
https://surprisedeelmaps.com/

Support me here: patreon.com/SurprisedEel
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greenleejw.bsky.social
Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · Nov 17
I draw custom maps on commission. Maps for books, games, decoration, etc. Here are a couple of examples. There are more on my website, along with a contact form and info about cost, process, etc.

If you need a map, I'm happy to help!

surprisedeelmaps.com
A black and white map showing a city plan for ancient Mycenae. A black and white map showing downtown NY, with small drawings of city landmarks in small snowglobes around the outside of the map. Each drawing is labeled with a number, and the map has corresponding numbers to show where the landmarks are located. A colored fantasy-style map of a land labeled "Examploria." A black and white map of medieval Iberia, focused on the Christian kingdoms in the northern part of the peninsula.
greenleejw.bsky.social
For this week's post, I've written about the maps, family trees, and diagrams that I made for Alan Stahl's recent book about Renaissance Venice, "The House of Condulmer." (published by @pennpress.bsky.social

Like most of my posts, it's free, so give it a read!

www.patreon.com/posts/maps-t...
Maps, Trees, and Labels: Three Kinds of Work for The House of Condulmer | Surprised Eel Maps
Get more from Surprised Eel Maps on Patreon
www.patreon.com
November 24, 2025 at 1:19 AM
Reposted by Surprised Eel Historian, PhD
bityz.bsky.social
They have a Lots of the Rings subway map!
greenleejw.bsky.social Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 3d
We're at the Middle Earth map.
We're at the subway map.
We're at the combination Middle Earth and Subway map!

And you could be too! These maps and more are for sale on my Etsy page! They make great presents for yourself and others!
#LOTR #maps #subway

www.etsy.com/shop/Surpris...
Art. Subway style map to go with The Lord of the Rings, showing the different pathways of various parties throughout the book. The title reads: "Lord of the Rings Transit Map: One Does Not Simply Walk Ino Mordor When One Can Ride." The map takes up the middle part of the page, and there are two keys. The one on the left is titles "Standard Service Lines, and has color keys matched to the subway lines on the map. Lines are named: "Shire-Bree Commuter Line Old Forrest Crescent Wildland Scenic Line Fellowship Line Gollum / Sméagol Line Uruk Hai Express Three Hunters Line Fangorn Slow Service Rohan to Gondor Business Line Black Ships Ferry Service Oliphant Direct Line Army of the West Line Gandalf Express A smaller key on the right side of the map is labeled: "Limited Service Lines" and has color keys matched to the following names lines: "Eagle Express Paths of the Dead Line Nazgûl Search & Resuce Valinor Ltd." A note at the bottom reads: "* Mount Doom station only accepts Rings of Power in payment. Plan accordingly." Art. Subway-style map of the itinerary in The Hobbit. The main journey is show in three different lines: red (Hobbiton to Goblin Town); green (Goblin Town to the Elvenking's Halls); and blue (Elvenking's Halls to Erebor). There are multiple stops on these lines. There is a yellow line going back from Erebor to Hobbiton, making stops at Beorn's Hall, Rivendell, and the Troll's Lair. There is an orange line directly from the Iron Hills on the map's right side to Erebor, and a purple line from Gundabad directly to Erebor. The map's title reads: "Hobbit Transit Map" and there are directions for both There and Back Again listing the lines and transfer points. Between them, in the middle of the page, is a dragon drawn to resemble the dragon on Thror's Map from The Hobbit. A key shows the names of each colored line: Red: Western Lands Line Green: Mountains and Forests Line Blue: Barrel Line Yellow: Gandalf Express Orange: Iron Hills Business Line Purple: Orc and Goblin Reserve Line Text at the bottom right reads Surprised Eel Maps, 2025
November 23, 2025 at 12:30 AM
Reposted by Surprised Eel Historian, PhD
greenleejw.bsky.social
We're at the Middle Earth map.
We're at the subway map.
We're at the combination Middle Earth and Subway map!

And you could be too! These maps and more are for sale on my Etsy page! They make great presents for yourself and others!
#LOTR #maps #subway

www.etsy.com/shop/Surpris...
Art. Subway style map to go with The Lord of the Rings, showing the different pathways of various parties throughout the book. The title reads: "Lord of the Rings Transit Map: One Does Not Simply Walk Ino Mordor When One Can Ride." The map takes up the middle part of the page, and there are two keys. The one on the left is titles "Standard Service Lines, and has color keys matched to the subway lines on the map. Lines are named: "Shire-Bree Commuter Line Old Forrest Crescent Wildland Scenic Line Fellowship Line Gollum / Sméagol Line Uruk Hai Express Three Hunters Line Fangorn Slow Service Rohan to Gondor Business Line Black Ships Ferry Service Oliphant Direct Line Army of the West Line Gandalf Express A smaller key on the right side of the map is labeled: "Limited Service Lines" and has color keys matched to the following names lines: "Eagle Express Paths of the Dead Line Nazgûl Search & Resuce Valinor Ltd." A note at the bottom reads: "* Mount Doom station only accepts Rings of Power in payment. Plan accordingly." Art. Subway-style map of the itinerary in The Hobbit. The main journey is show in three different lines: red (Hobbiton to Goblin Town); green (Goblin Town to the Elvenking's Halls); and blue (Elvenking's Halls to Erebor). There are multiple stops on these lines. There is a yellow line going back from Erebor to Hobbiton, making stops at Beorn's Hall, Rivendell, and the Troll's Lair. There is an orange line directly from the Iron Hills on the map's right side to Erebor, and a purple line from Gundabad directly to Erebor. The map's title reads: "Hobbit Transit Map" and there are directions for both There and Back Again listing the lines and transfer points. Between them, in the middle of the page, is a dragon drawn to resemble the dragon on Thror's Map from The Hobbit. A key shows the names of each colored line: Red: Western Lands Line Green: Mountains and Forests Line Blue: Barrel Line Yellow: Gandalf Express Orange: Iron Hills Business Line Purple: Orc and Goblin Reserve Line Text at the bottom right reads Surprised Eel Maps, 2025
November 21, 2025 at 12:05 AM
Reposted by Surprised Eel Historian, PhD
caperry.bsky.social
Maps! From my forthcoming book and created by @greenleejw.bsky.social. I highly recommend JW Greenlee and especially appreciated his collaborative and iterative process of design. These maps capture the geography implicated in the slave trade that I study in the book. There is ... 1/3
Map 1. From Iberia to India, ca. 1000–1250. Map created by John Wyatt Greenlee of Surprised Eel Mapping. Map 2. Egypt and Northeast Africa, ca. 1000–1250. Map created by John Wyatt Greenlee of Surprised Eel Mapping.
November 21, 2025 at 2:41 PM
greenleejw.bsky.social
Good morning, friends, and happy Friday! I've got a busy day, full of travel, and I don't have time for a full-on historical eel tweet. But I know you need your eels.

So here...enjoy this wonderful marginal imagery showing you how *not* to catch any eel you might want to eat.
🗃️🧪
Medieval marginal drawing showing a somewhat grotesque circle of life. A bald man with no pants is playing a horn of some sort, like a trumpet. A stork or heron is poking him in the butt, and looking pretty happy about it. An eel is sliding out of the stork's own rear end, and is being grabbed with one hand by a man in an orange shirt. His other hand is extended as if he might also use it to grab the eel. The man's body disappears into an interlinear something that might be a vine, but also might be an octopus tentacle. The lettering on the page is minim-tastic. This is the sort of thing that should only happen between consenting adults (of all sorts: human, bird, eel, and vine/octopus). I hope they have a safeword worked out.
November 21, 2025 at 8:16 PM
greenleejw.bsky.social
When I was in my early 20s, I spent an unemployed summer selling blood plasma and being lazy. The summer ended, I got a job coaching volleyball, and life went on.

But that summer left me with something to remember it by, and later on I wrote a poem about it.
Image of a poem entitled "Idle Markings." The poem is on one page, in two columns. The text of the poem reads: When I was younger I spent one idle summer unemployed playing volleyball and selling plasma. Twice a week I’d go and sit, watching as the alcoholics tried to squeeze another bottle from their veins and flirting with the dark-haired tech who set my blood to spinning round in vicious circles just outside of my body. Twice a week she’d take my arm and turn it over in her hands to find the mark she’d made before, a healing place within the hollow of my skin, then softly tear a cold new needle through the forming scar and open up my body once more time to pull my blood apart for me The whole thing lasted just about an hour and after I was done I’d take my money and my red cells off to find a sandwich and some sand. [this is the bottom of the left-hand column. The next stanza begins at the top of the right-hand column] I ended that warm summer with a small white mark inscribed above the vein in my left arm, a memory, hand-knitted to remind me of an idle season’s cost. For years it has stared up at me, a silent moment of my past that I can feel beneath my touch. Lately, though, I cannot see it when I look, unless I focus harder than I should, and I am left to wonder if it is so far gone with age that the echo of the thought is all that’s left. Perhaps I need to make fresh scars to tell the story of these busy days, and pull my blood back into view to mark and see the time that I have lost since I’ve forgotten what it means to just be idle in the world.
November 21, 2025 at 1:24 AM
greenleejw.bsky.social
We're at the Middle Earth map.
We're at the subway map.
We're at the combination Middle Earth and Subway map!

And you could be too! These maps and more are for sale on my Etsy page! They make great presents for yourself and others!
#LOTR #maps #subway

www.etsy.com/shop/Surpris...
Art. Subway style map to go with The Lord of the Rings, showing the different pathways of various parties throughout the book. The title reads: "Lord of the Rings Transit Map: One Does Not Simply Walk Ino Mordor When One Can Ride." The map takes up the middle part of the page, and there are two keys. The one on the left is titles "Standard Service Lines, and has color keys matched to the subway lines on the map. Lines are named: "Shire-Bree Commuter Line Old Forrest Crescent Wildland Scenic Line Fellowship Line Gollum / Sméagol Line Uruk Hai Express Three Hunters Line Fangorn Slow Service Rohan to Gondor Business Line Black Ships Ferry Service Oliphant Direct Line Army of the West Line Gandalf Express A smaller key on the right side of the map is labeled: "Limited Service Lines" and has color keys matched to the following names lines: "Eagle Express Paths of the Dead Line Nazgûl Search & Resuce Valinor Ltd." A note at the bottom reads: "* Mount Doom station only accepts Rings of Power in payment. Plan accordingly." Art. Subway-style map of the itinerary in The Hobbit. The main journey is show in three different lines: red (Hobbiton to Goblin Town); green (Goblin Town to the Elvenking's Halls); and blue (Elvenking's Halls to Erebor). There are multiple stops on these lines. There is a yellow line going back from Erebor to Hobbiton, making stops at Beorn's Hall, Rivendell, and the Troll's Lair. There is an orange line directly from the Iron Hills on the map's right side to Erebor, and a purple line from Gundabad directly to Erebor. The map's title reads: "Hobbit Transit Map" and there are directions for both There and Back Again listing the lines and transfer points. Between them, in the middle of the page, is a dragon drawn to resemble the dragon on Thror's Map from The Hobbit. A key shows the names of each colored line: Red: Western Lands Line Green: Mountains and Forests Line Blue: Barrel Line Yellow: Gandalf Express Orange: Iron Hills Business Line Purple: Orc and Goblin Reserve Line Text at the bottom right reads Surprised Eel Maps, 2025
November 21, 2025 at 12:05 AM
greenleejw.bsky.social
This is a fun episode of one of my favorite podcasts, made even better by two of my map clients —
@lollardfish.bsky.social and @charlescmann.bsky.social — getting name-dropped in short order!

I drew the maps for two of David’s books, & I’m working (slowly) on a set of maps for Charles’s next book!
ifbookspod.bsky.social If Books Could Kill @ifbookspod.bsky.social · 4d
Episode 46: Sapiens

It's an ambitious goal to write the entire history of humanity in just 400 pages. It's even more ambitious to do it without reading any research.
Sapiens
Podcast Episode · If Books Could Kill · 11/20/2025 · 1h 38m
podcasts.apple.com
November 20, 2025 at 8:52 PM
Reposted by Surprised Eel Historian, PhD
greenleejw.bsky.social
In 1257 William of Stow, the sheriff of Cambridgeshire, was ordered to send King Henry III food for his Christmas feasts. Henry wanted lots of eels, 1 crane, 4 peacocks, & 4 swans.

But no worries...it was tax deductible. William got to write off his expenses of £15 15s 10d.
Meme. Photograph of a woman (probably) with her head down on a pile of US government tax forms. Her brown hair spreads out around her head in limp resignation, like it is floating on a pool of red ink. She is not wearing any jewelry, and she has no sleeves. You can't see the rest of her body, so she might actually be doing her taxes naked, like a Pict assaulting the Romans. But it is more likely that she is wearing something like a sun dress. Perhaps she hoped to finish quickly, and go on a picnic. Sweet summer child. In her left hand she is holding a pencil like a dagger, as if she had tried to stab the forms into submission. In her right hand is a cheap but reliable calculator. Her sword and shield, if you will. But they seem to have failed her, because she has clearly succumbed to the implacable might of bureaucracy. In the end, it's what will probably get us all. At least she went out fighting. Meme text reads: "Wait...the 1099E form isn't for eels?"
November 20, 2025 at 4:48 PM
greenleejw.bsky.social
In 1257 William of Stow, the sheriff of Cambridgeshire, was ordered to send King Henry III food for his Christmas feasts. Henry wanted lots of eels, 1 crane, 4 peacocks, & 4 swans.

But no worries...it was tax deductible. William got to write off his expenses of £15 15s 10d.
Meme. Photograph of a woman (probably) with her head down on a pile of US government tax forms. Her brown hair spreads out around her head in limp resignation, like it is floating on a pool of red ink. She is not wearing any jewelry, and she has no sleeves. You can't see the rest of her body, so she might actually be doing her taxes naked, like a Pict assaulting the Romans. But it is more likely that she is wearing something like a sun dress. Perhaps she hoped to finish quickly, and go on a picnic. Sweet summer child. In her left hand she is holding a pencil like a dagger, as if she had tried to stab the forms into submission. In her right hand is a cheap but reliable calculator. Her sword and shield, if you will. But they seem to have failed her, because she has clearly succumbed to the implacable might of bureaucracy. In the end, it's what will probably get us all. At least she went out fighting. Meme text reads: "Wait...the 1099E form isn't for eels?"
November 20, 2025 at 4:48 PM
greenleejw.bsky.social
I was in exceptionally good shape. Then I got Covid and couldn’t walk across the room. Fuck those guys.
November 20, 2025 at 3:38 AM
greenleejw.bsky.social
Screen shot from the Simpsons showing a teenage hoodlum in a purple beanie hanging out of a car window and holding a video camera to his eye. Text over the image reads “Videotaping this crime spree was the best idea we’ve ever had”
November 20, 2025 at 3:23 AM
Reposted by Surprised Eel Historian, PhD
greenleejw.bsky.social
Sure, monks loved their eels. But so did the nuns!

In 1235 Henry III granted a charter to the nuns of Godstow Abbey that included the rights to local eel-rents.

Or, rather, some rights. Turns out, the nuns couldn't get eels all year round...just in the autumn. 1/2
🗃️🧪
Meme. Painting of a group of nuns, sitting in a half-circle. They are all wearing back tunics and white veils and scapulars. The older nun in the middle, whom we'll call Sister Venjens, is pointing to a nun on her right. That nun, who looks like her name is probably Sister Elopine, has her own hand over her chest. Her cheeks are flushed, and she looks is moderately aggrieved. She is clearly being accused of something of bad (like stealing waffles) but not terrible (like trading waffles for sex). A nun on the right -- Sister Quantiphone -- is also pointing towards Elopine. She has Venjens' attention, and is likely offering corroborating evidence. Perhaps she followed a trail of waffle crumbs right to Elopine's room. But maybe she ate the waffles herself and is deflecting blame. The rest of the the nuns are watching this moment with reserved curiosity; likely this is not the first time these nuns have had a dust-up. Meme text reads: "Lots of eels in the fall nun the rest of the year"
November 19, 2025 at 5:27 PM
greenleejw.bsky.social
Sure, monks loved their eels. But so did the nuns!

In 1235 Henry III granted a charter to the nuns of Godstow Abbey that included the rights to local eel-rents.

Or, rather, some rights. Turns out, the nuns couldn't get eels all year round...just in the autumn. 1/2
🗃️🧪
Meme. Painting of a group of nuns, sitting in a half-circle. They are all wearing back tunics and white veils and scapulars. The older nun in the middle, whom we'll call Sister Venjens, is pointing to a nun on her right. That nun, who looks like her name is probably Sister Elopine, has her own hand over her chest. Her cheeks are flushed, and she looks is moderately aggrieved. She is clearly being accused of something of bad (like stealing waffles) but not terrible (like trading waffles for sex). A nun on the right -- Sister Quantiphone -- is also pointing towards Elopine. She has Venjens' attention, and is likely offering corroborating evidence. Perhaps she followed a trail of waffle crumbs right to Elopine's room. But maybe she ate the waffles herself and is deflecting blame. The rest of the the nuns are watching this moment with reserved curiosity; likely this is not the first time these nuns have had a dust-up. Meme text reads: "Lots of eels in the fall nun the rest of the year"
November 19, 2025 at 5:27 PM
greenleejw.bsky.social
One more drawing from this evening.
Art. Black and white inkpen drawing made of abstract shapes and lines, that looks like a bird of some sort of wild crest. The bird seems to be reaching out with its wings, like it wants a hug.
November 19, 2025 at 4:35 AM
greenleejw.bsky.social
A drawing from this evening. A flying fish-bear? Could be!
Art. Black and white ink pen drawing made of abstract shapes and lines that might look like a fish with wings and a bear’s head
November 19, 2025 at 1:52 AM
Reposted by Surprised Eel Historian, PhD
greenleejw.bsky.social
It's November, & you know what that means!

Yup. Time to start thinking about ordering your holiday eels!
Henry III knew. In November of 1256 the king ordered up 5,000 small eels from Ely, to be sent to him for the Jan. 6 feast of St. Edward.

Only the best for the Confessor.
🗃️🧪
November 18, 2025 at 5:06 PM
greenleejw.bsky.social
It's November, & you know what that means!

Yup. Time to start thinking about ordering your holiday eels!
Henry III knew. In November of 1256 the king ordered up 5,000 small eels from Ely, to be sent to him for the Jan. 6 feast of St. Edward.

Only the best for the Confessor.
🗃️🧪
November 18, 2025 at 5:06 PM
greenleejw.bsky.social
Leftover coffee:
Will it give me enough life
To make more coffee?
November 18, 2025 at 3:43 PM
greenleejw.bsky.social
An eel historian, out for a walk
A black and white photograph of an eel historian with grey hair, and a short salt-and-pepper mustache/beard combo. He has not actually spilled salt or pepper on himself. His hair is the color of moonlight wrapping around an abandoned merry-go-round. His eyebrows are shockingly dark, as if they will be the last thing to admit to age. His eye are deep and dark, and there are lines around them. Perhaps he has laughed too much. Or too little. It's hard to tell. The sky behind him is scarred with bits of cloud: thin strips of water standing between you and the universe. TL/DR: Black and white elfie of an grey-haired dud standing outside somewhere.
November 18, 2025 at 2:22 AM
Reposted by Surprised Eel Historian, PhD
greenleejw.bsky.social
Ever find yourself at home, hungry, & wishing for an eel delivery service? Well you're not alone!

In the 1580s Queen Elizabeth had cartloads of eels & pike delivered weekly to her castle at Hertford from Cambridge by a man named William Raven.

Why eel out when you can order in?
🗃️🧪
Meme. Painting of Queen Elizabeth, wearing the fanciest collar you ever did see. It is lacy, and diaphanous, and massive, spreading out in concentric rings, with the last ring being made of overlapping circles with designs inside of them. You can't see the rest of her clothes; I've cropped the picture too tight on her face. But believe me...they fit the collar. Her hair is done up right and tight, and her pallor is ghostly white, with a big of pink on her cheeks. Her lips are pursed, and her expression says, "I am not amused, but you must keep trying. It's your failure that feeds me." Happily for you, she's not looking at you. Rather, she's looking past you a bit. It's as if you don't really matter, but the person behind you does. Normally this would trouble you to be so dismissed. But not today. She does not look like a woman who would play-wrestle with a puppy. But she might order someone else to do it. Meme text reads: "And lead us not into temptation but deliver us some eels"
November 17, 2025 at 6:08 PM
Reposted by Surprised Eel Historian, PhD
theredshoes.bsky.social
Her hair is done up right and tight, and her pallor is ghostly white, with a big of pink on her cheeks. Her lips are pursed, and her expression says, "I am not amused, but you must keep trying. It's your failure that feeds me."

Best alt text for bsky always on this account
greenleejw.bsky.social Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 6d
Ever find yourself at home, hungry, & wishing for an eel delivery service? Well you're not alone!

In the 1580s Queen Elizabeth had cartloads of eels & pike delivered weekly to her castle at Hertford from Cambridge by a man named William Raven.

Why eel out when you can order in?
🗃️🧪
Meme. Painting of Queen Elizabeth, wearing the fanciest collar you ever did see. It is lacy, and diaphanous, and massive, spreading out in concentric rings, with the last ring being made of overlapping circles with designs inside of them. You can't see the rest of her clothes; I've cropped the picture too tight on her face. But believe me...they fit the collar. Her hair is done up right and tight, and her pallor is ghostly white, with a big of pink on her cheeks. Her lips are pursed, and her expression says, "I am not amused, but you must keep trying. It's your failure that feeds me." Happily for you, she's not looking at you. Rather, she's looking past you a bit. It's as if you don't really matter, but the person behind you does. Normally this would trouble you to be so dismissed. But not today. She does not look like a woman who would play-wrestle with a puppy. But she might order someone else to do it. Meme text reads: "And lead us not into temptation but deliver us some eels"
November 17, 2025 at 8:07 PM
greenleejw.bsky.social
Ever find yourself at home, hungry, & wishing for an eel delivery service? Well you're not alone!

In the 1580s Queen Elizabeth had cartloads of eels & pike delivered weekly to her castle at Hertford from Cambridge by a man named William Raven.

Why eel out when you can order in?
🗃️🧪
Meme. Painting of Queen Elizabeth, wearing the fanciest collar you ever did see. It is lacy, and diaphanous, and massive, spreading out in concentric rings, with the last ring being made of overlapping circles with designs inside of them. You can't see the rest of her clothes; I've cropped the picture too tight on her face. But believe me...they fit the collar. Her hair is done up right and tight, and her pallor is ghostly white, with a big of pink on her cheeks. Her lips are pursed, and her expression says, "I am not amused, but you must keep trying. It's your failure that feeds me." Happily for you, she's not looking at you. Rather, she's looking past you a bit. It's as if you don't really matter, but the person behind you does. Normally this would trouble you to be so dismissed. But not today. She does not look like a woman who would play-wrestle with a puppy. But she might order someone else to do it. Meme text reads: "And lead us not into temptation but deliver us some eels"
November 17, 2025 at 6:08 PM
Reposted by Surprised Eel Historian, PhD
greenleejw.bsky.social
A drawing from today. It started out looking a bit like a squid, but turned into this guy.
Art. Black and white ink pen drawing made of abstract shapes and lines that looks a bit like a person from the shoulders up. The left eye is clear, but it’s unclear if the right eye is covered up or not there. The person’s expression looks friendly.
November 17, 2025 at 2:55 AM
greenleejw.bsky.social
A drawing from today. It started out looking a bit like a squid, but turned into this guy.
Art. Black and white ink pen drawing made of abstract shapes and lines that looks a bit like a person from the shoulders up. The left eye is clear, but it’s unclear if the right eye is covered up or not there. The person’s expression looks friendly.
November 17, 2025 at 2:55 AM