Jeffrey Hecker
@heckheck03.bsky.social
Poet, Teen Writers Fellowship Poetry Teacher (The Muse Writers Center), Poetry Staff Reader for Quarterly West
Student: "Did surrealists like to sleep?" Me: "Not really. They often stayed up as late as they possibly could." Student: "It is strange they did not sleep as much as possible." Me: "I agree with you. They thought sleep was equal to being awake, not better than being awake. That was a big mistake."
December 3, 2025 at 10:58 PM
Student: "Did surrealists like to sleep?" Me: "Not really. They often stayed up as late as they possibly could." Student: "It is strange they did not sleep as much as possible." Me: "I agree with you. They thought sleep was equal to being awake, not better than being awake. That was a big mistake."
Most literary magazine submission fees in the 1990's were for staff cigarettes. Some things never change.
December 3, 2025 at 10:45 PM
Most literary magazine submission fees in the 1990's were for staff cigarettes. Some things never change.
Bald Kevin O'Leary on a Zoom call hawking his acidic wine on QVC wearing a tuxedo in his mansion's fifth kitchen.
December 3, 2025 at 10:21 PM
Bald Kevin O'Leary on a Zoom call hawking his acidic wine on QVC wearing a tuxedo in his mansion's fifth kitchen.
I hope the locals of New Orleans conjure so many hoodoo spells on ICE, the agents begin to grow Perennial Ryegrass out of their heads instead of hair follicles.
December 3, 2025 at 9:39 PM
I hope the locals of New Orleans conjure so many hoodoo spells on ICE, the agents begin to grow Perennial Ryegrass out of their heads instead of hair follicles.
Hold on, so the Pentagon as a collective just admitted their boss Pete Hegseth is a danger to humanity and tomorrow everybody there will go back to working for him? Is that what is happening?
December 3, 2025 at 9:31 PM
Hold on, so the Pentagon as a collective just admitted their boss Pete Hegseth is a danger to humanity and tomorrow everybody there will go back to working for him? Is that what is happening?
I just want to be correct about things I believe are wrong.
December 2, 2025 at 11:44 PM
I just want to be correct about things I believe are wrong.
Trying to prove the penny phase out is actually a gigantic tax on all of us.
December 2, 2025 at 11:42 PM
Trying to prove the penny phase out is actually a gigantic tax on all of us.
Something I will never understand about Baby Boomer parents is when I was seven years old they took me to see Beat Street in the movie theatre three times but if I put on Beat Street in their house right now they would both leave the living room.
December 2, 2025 at 11:37 PM
Something I will never understand about Baby Boomer parents is when I was seven years old they took me to see Beat Street in the movie theatre three times but if I put on Beat Street in their house right now they would both leave the living room.
Drilled AP students on 50 literary device terms and by 31 even I was surprised all of them were still in the classroom and only one of them was sleeping.
December 2, 2025 at 11:13 PM
Drilled AP students on 50 literary device terms and by 31 even I was surprised all of them were still in the classroom and only one of them was sleeping.
I think Noem meant "with the Cocaine you've snorted up in the Caribbean". Yes, that is what she meant.
Hundreds of millions. Wow, that's a lot. That's more than have died in every single war combined in the entire world since 1900.
December 2, 2025 at 11:07 PM
I think Noem meant "with the Cocaine you've snorted up in the Caribbean". Yes, that is what she meant.
Lost my umbrella and ordered another one so if I find the first one I will own two. I need three.
December 2, 2025 at 10:55 PM
Lost my umbrella and ordered another one so if I find the first one I will own two. I need three.
I never understood A Christmas Carol at all and I still do not.
December 2, 2025 at 10:52 PM
I never understood A Christmas Carol at all and I still do not.
QVC host pretending to listen to the RAI Chocolate rep. She may have heard every fourth sentence he said. Even QVC hosts have checked out spiritually.
December 2, 2025 at 10:51 PM
QVC host pretending to listen to the RAI Chocolate rep. She may have heard every fourth sentence he said. Even QVC hosts have checked out spiritually.
I posted this earlier this year though it is worth reiterating that chasing somebody on foot is only a crime if the person being chased expresses fear and even that is difficult to prove in court. What I am saying is we should all chase Mike Johnson on foot and watch him run around like a peacock.
December 2, 2025 at 10:37 PM
I posted this earlier this year though it is worth reiterating that chasing somebody on foot is only a crime if the person being chased expresses fear and even that is difficult to prove in court. What I am saying is we should all chase Mike Johnson on foot and watch him run around like a peacock.
If American retirement is simply catching up on doctors' appointments you should have made while you were actually working then finding out you are dying that is not something I look forward to experiencing at all.
December 2, 2025 at 10:01 PM
If American retirement is simply catching up on doctors' appointments you should have made while you were actually working then finding out you are dying that is not something I look forward to experiencing at all.
I like how Once Upon a Time in Hollywood is really about how Hollywood is dead -- not in 1969 -- but as Tarantino was making that film. Also, that little girl from the Western movie was brilliant.
December 2, 2025 at 9:27 PM
I like how Once Upon a Time in Hollywood is really about how Hollywood is dead -- not in 1969 -- but as Tarantino was making that film. Also, that little girl from the Western movie was brilliant.
Bank accounts for newborns is a wonderful concept but the problem is parents are going to withdraw that money immediately in order to buy diapers. Nice concept though.
December 2, 2025 at 9:15 PM
Bank accounts for newborns is a wonderful concept but the problem is parents are going to withdraw that money immediately in order to buy diapers. Nice concept though.
Do not know or care who Admiral Bradley is but I do know Admiral Bradley will soon appear on a new Gilligan's Island tv series, a Mark Burnett production. This time the show will be a bunch of scapegoats this administration sends to Gilligan's Island to starve to death. Putin will sing the theme.
December 1, 2025 at 11:25 PM
Do not know or care who Admiral Bradley is but I do know Admiral Bradley will soon appear on a new Gilligan's Island tv series, a Mark Burnett production. This time the show will be a bunch of scapegoats this administration sends to Gilligan's Island to starve to death. Putin will sing the theme.
70 million Americans are under a winter storm alert and there are 50 Christmas trees inside the motherfucking White House.
December 1, 2025 at 11:01 PM
70 million Americans are under a winter storm alert and there are 50 Christmas trees inside the motherfucking White House.
Student noticed "six-seven" is an anapest and I reluctantly had to agree yes "six-seven" is an anapest. God these kids are brilliant.
December 1, 2025 at 10:54 PM
Student noticed "six-seven" is an anapest and I reluctantly had to agree yes "six-seven" is an anapest. God these kids are brilliant.
I like telling students about heroic couplets in class and watching everybody chuckle because it is funny. Damn right heroic couplets are funny as hell.
December 1, 2025 at 10:50 PM
I like telling students about heroic couplets in class and watching everybody chuckle because it is funny. Damn right heroic couplets are funny as hell.
Turns out Trump’s former personal lawyer Alina Habba is actually the waitress Tori Amos was singing about in her song The Waitress.
December 1, 2025 at 9:57 PM
Turns out Trump’s former personal lawyer Alina Habba is actually the waitress Tori Amos was singing about in her song The Waitress.
Wow Pete Hegseth killing boaters like he was playing a video game actually made the local Norfolk Virginia news too. I cannot you how rare and meaningful that is.
December 1, 2025 at 9:23 PM
Wow Pete Hegseth killing boaters like he was playing a video game actually made the local Norfolk Virginia news too. I cannot you how rare and meaningful that is.
Today while explaining Deus ex machina to students I learned that nobody under the age of 19 has ever watched the original Wizard of Oz film or has any intention of watching it anytime soon.
December 1, 2025 at 9:16 PM
Today while explaining Deus ex machina to students I learned that nobody under the age of 19 has ever watched the original Wizard of Oz film or has any intention of watching it anytime soon.
Early this school year I gave my students a passionate speech about how I hate my cell phone (I may have mentioned wishing to throw it into the Chesapeake Bay but only if it would dissolve). Anyway, I think they enjoyed my speech but since it reminded them all of their own phones it backfired.
November 30, 2025 at 10:03 PM
Early this school year I gave my students a passionate speech about how I hate my cell phone (I may have mentioned wishing to throw it into the Chesapeake Bay but only if it would dissolve). Anyway, I think they enjoyed my speech but since it reminded them all of their own phones it backfired.