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aaron @hillenjoyer.bsky.social · 3h

*cheetah concealed in thr grass spots a human, pounces, and the chase is on! the human hears a noise and looks up and sees the back of a cheetah that’s already 50m away

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aaron @hillenjoyer.bsky.social · 3h

we probably can’t run fast enough to trigger their predator instinct

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aaron @hillenjoyer.bsky.social · 3h

staring into the abyss with my new meta rayban glasses and i don’t even see the abyss i see a legless cartoon of my ex hovering in front of a video game version of the eiffel tower

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aaron @hillenjoyer.bsky.social · 4h

they always said glitter is like the std of craft supplies and that was before we knee that microplastics are stored in the balls

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aaron @hillenjoyer.bsky.social · 6h

i joined jorts.horse and it’s a great server good people don’t join though it’s getting slow i think fuckaas.space is already too popular too but that might be or have gotten an upgrade im not on it so idk, beige.party is representin on the timeline, ohai.social too

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aaron @hillenjoyer.bsky.social · 6h

costco has churros?

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Reposted by aaron

bakoon @bakoon.bsky.social · 8h

(in that commercial guy VO voice) EA SPORTS: its in the game. and also we are responsible for the september eleventh plane attack on new york city

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aaron @hillenjoyer.bsky.social · 6h

oh that’s why we have to build bases in other countries so much, they don’t have freedom and the constitution in the rest of the world so the third amendment doesn’t apply

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Reposted by aaron

Robert Evans (the Only Robert Evans) @iwriteok.bsky.social · 7h

a lot of people are finally waking up to the importance of the 3rd amendment. As a 3A absolutist, i think it should be illegal for soldiers to be quartered anywhere in this country. they should be camping under the open sky at all times. all military bases and barracks are unconstitutional.

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aaron @hillenjoyer.bsky.social · 10h

any historians know what happens when an unpopular despot stops paying the troops

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aaron @hillenjoyer.bsky.social · 10h

just pull a fidel castro and seduce him

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aaron @hillenjoyer.bsky.social · 11h

they come to take you away to the autism camp but you have something they didn't expect: a foreskin. you're safe, for now

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aaron @hillenjoyer.bsky.social · 11h

i don't think my computer has ever worked this good. good linux is good

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aaron @hillenjoyer.bsky.social · 12h

i must say i disagree with the court. kendricj lamar’s not like us can reasonably be understood to convey as a factual matter that Drake is a pedophile or that he has engaged in sexual relations with minors. certified

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aaron @hillenjoyer.bsky.social · 12h

middle earth shadow of mordor is lord of the assassins rings creed

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aaron @hillenjoyer.bsky.social · 12h

alright lets build some hospitals and schools and roads and airports and power plants and some sweet bridges and

aaron @hillenjoyer.bsky.social · 15h

zionism is sniper's bullet in the heart of a starving child who was the last surviving member of their family

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Reposted by aaron

JonBOOnét Rumsfeld @jonbenetrumsfeld.blacksky.app · 16h

hot take

i like mastodon
im having more fun
its superior

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aaron @hillenjoyer.bsky.social · 1d

oh wait so when wyatt earp was like tell him i’m comin and that hell’s comin with me he was making a callback to the wedding scene with the pale horse now i get it

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aaron @hillenjoyer.bsky.social · 1d

okay wait let me get this straight the way the scam works is you tell a rich lady to give you hundreds of thousands of dollars and she does and so you tell her to give you more and she does and eventually many months and hundreds of thousands of dollars later the rich lady says hey waitaminute

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aaron @hillenjoyer.bsky.social · 1d

as a new mexican i just have to say that yeah texas invades sometimes you just have to kick their asses and send them home tail tucked. it’s usually way easier than you think, i think one time we just rolled a bunch of boulders on them from the canyon cliffs above. people love repelling texan armies

Asawin Suebsaeng @swin24.bsky.social · 1d

Also fuck you Texas for doing this, invading another state with armed troops; lone star Republic my ass

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aaron @hillenjoyer.bsky.social · 1d

don’t you let someone know where you’re going and when you’re planning to return before you go off the grid into the wilderness because if you tell me and it happens i will load up my day pack and get my gps and go find your ass in the middle of bumfuck nowhere and tell you all about it

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Reposted by aaron

Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · Jul 24

When it happens, you're probably not even going to learn about it directly before you feel it in the air. You'll just hear car horns and cheering in the streets. You'll feel confused, annoyed. You'll check your phone. Huh, 41 new texts.

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aaron @hillenjoyer.bsky.social · 1d

oh yeah i was also in a remote cabin in wisconsin with no connection and luigi mangione was there with me too

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aaron @hillenjoyer.bsky.social · 1d

i wish fetterman were more like rand paul so i could call him rand paul bunyan

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