AU where Bilbo confesses how he got the ring and Gandalf makes him return it to Gollum because "what have I got in my pocket" obviously loses any fair game of riddles

Men with an entire basement full of model trains painted to exact specifications and sorted by complex classification systems: the reason my child has autism must be because my wife took Tylenol

So you're telling me all these people whining about the Charlie Kirk jokes won't make any jokes when Biden or Pelosi die? Yeah right

When the man who said shooting deaths were worth it to have free access to guns was shot

I am begging for managers to learn a single pop culture reference that is A) from the 21st century and B) not from The Office

"God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers," I sob as I attempt again and again to make my Sims roof not look like shit

It's always incredible to me to read real-life accounts of men seeking medical treatment for their pain... and actually getting some? Rx pain meds and scans and referrals to specialists? Whereas the typical woman in pain's medical experience is: pregnancy test, then told to go home & lose weight

People without OCD: omg guys I'm so OCD 😆

People with OCD: wait doesn't everyone do a complex 5 step ritual before bed to make sure their friends and family are safe

Can Canada get it the fuck together about the wildfires

God knew I'd be too powerful if all the 2000s Barbie movie soundtracks were on Spotify

I talk a lot of shit for someone who hasn't been able to eat grapefruit in over a decade

I don't think everyone should be forced to take a statistics class, but I do wish that everyone could grasp the main thing they teach you in it; which is don't believe statistics

I know a lot of people like Ryan Gosling but I would rather see someone less known in Star Wars. He's just another white dude

I'm sorry I do not buy that Rotta the Hutt grew that much in 31 years

It's hard to remember how many "once in a lifetime" crises have happened in a millennial's lifetime by this point

Suck my metaphorical dick Elon

Elon is stupid for trying his weird million dollar check stunt in Wisconsin. Our economy is primarily based on cheese, idiot

Stop saying: we'll never get new coal because it takes millions of years to form 🚫

Start saying: we'll never get new coal because it all had to be created before fungi evolved to digest lignin ✅

STAR WARS is so popular because it posits the absolute most terrifying version of space: the English are there

Nightbrothers on Ice

Bluesky's algorithm has figured out that I like Star Wars but is only showing me bad takes from the kind of men who ruin the fandom for anyone else. Please send help

I have respect for like 3 men and every dog on Earth

It's not my fault I'm doomscrolling, none of my Libby holds are available

I am SO excited for you to get to the Bad Batch 😍 I will annoy everyone in my life into watching it eventually 💪