Iamfivebears
@iamfivebears.bsky.social
Posting from a rainy planet terraformed by an ancient experiment. Piloting robots but not in a way that glorifies state power. He/him.
Read my short story about a crew salvaging a derelict ship on an alien world - https://books2read.com/u/31JlnD
Read my short story about a crew salvaging a derelict ship on an alien world - https://books2read.com/u/31JlnD
Pinned
Iamfivebears
@iamfivebears.bsky.social
· Apr 20
I'm very excited to announce the release of my ebook. I've been working on this story in various forms for years, I'm so glad I'm finally able to share it.
Deep Salvage Report: A Pile of Ghosts
Deep Salvage Report: A Pile of Ghosts
Reposted by Iamfivebears
My boss thinks I helped her install Adobe Creative Cloud on her laptop but actually I installed a consecrated seed that will nourish itself on her incompetence, growing into a knotted visier. The visier will then install Adobe Creative Cloud.
January 17, 2026 at 8:12 PM
My boss thinks I helped her install Adobe Creative Cloud on her laptop but actually I installed a consecrated seed that will nourish itself on her incompetence, growing into a knotted visier. The visier will then install Adobe Creative Cloud.
ME: First full week back in the office this year, maybe I should pretend to be sick and work from home
GEN'VA'TOTH, FEL BLADE THAT SUPS ON THE ANGER OF INNOCENTS CAUGHT IN MEETINGS THEY DON'T NEED TO BE IN: No
GEN'VA'TOTH, FEL BLADE THAT SUPS ON THE ANGER OF INNOCENTS CAUGHT IN MEETINGS THEY DON'T NEED TO BE IN: No
January 7, 2026 at 6:14 PM
ME: First full week back in the office this year, maybe I should pretend to be sick and work from home
GEN'VA'TOTH, FEL BLADE THAT SUPS ON THE ANGER OF INNOCENTS CAUGHT IN MEETINGS THEY DON'T NEED TO BE IN: No
GEN'VA'TOTH, FEL BLADE THAT SUPS ON THE ANGER OF INNOCENTS CAUGHT IN MEETINGS THEY DON'T NEED TO BE IN: No
It's important to first imagine that you CAN make a large, positive community based on something typically considered part of the toxic Internet manosphere.
Completely unrelated please check out reddit dot com slash r slash DnD!
Completely unrelated please check out reddit dot com slash r slash DnD!
January 6, 2026 at 2:33 AM
It's important to first imagine that you CAN make a large, positive community based on something typically considered part of the toxic Internet manosphere.
Completely unrelated please check out reddit dot com slash r slash DnD!
Completely unrelated please check out reddit dot com slash r slash DnD!
It's really hard to get people interested in my favourite comics when I have to start by going, "it's actually pronounced BLAM, like a gun!"
January 6, 2026 at 1:54 AM
It's really hard to get people interested in my favourite comics when I have to start by going, "it's actually pronounced BLAM, like a gun!"
All actions I take in my Rad Bipedal Mech are taken with complete immunity, the courts said none can judge me. I'm going to use it to capture my enemy's Lame Bipedal Mech and drag it in front of the court to be tried for war crimes!
January 3, 2026 at 1:58 PM
All actions I take in my Rad Bipedal Mech are taken with complete immunity, the courts said none can judge me. I'm going to use it to capture my enemy's Lame Bipedal Mech and drag it in front of the court to be tried for war crimes!
2025 GAMING ROUND-UP
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In the year 2025 I played at least 66 games, and finished ~51% of them. In the first couple months of 2026 I will talk about one of them a day.
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In the year 2025 I played at least 66 games, and finished ~51% of them. In the first couple months of 2026 I will talk about one of them a day.
January 1, 2026 at 7:08 PM
2025 GAMING ROUND-UP
--
In the year 2025 I played at least 66 games, and finished ~51% of them. In the first couple months of 2026 I will talk about one of them a day.
--
In the year 2025 I played at least 66 games, and finished ~51% of them. In the first couple months of 2026 I will talk about one of them a day.
Happy New Year. Rents due.
January 1, 2026 at 2:14 PM
Happy New Year. Rents due.
Austen Gunn looking like a ninja turtle #aewworldsend
December 28, 2025 at 2:12 AM
Austen Gunn looking like a ninja turtle #aewworldsend
Wes Moore should invent a title like "Full and Legal Resident of the United States of America (Maryland Chapter)", grant it to everyone who has ever been to the state, and kick ICE out until the courts say it doesn't count. Then invent a new title and do it again.
December 28, 2025 at 1:22 AM
Wes Moore should invent a title like "Full and Legal Resident of the United States of America (Maryland Chapter)", grant it to everyone who has ever been to the state, and kick ICE out until the courts say it doesn't count. Then invent a new title and do it again.
Reposted by Iamfivebears
本日12月18日、アケアカ版アウトフォクシーズ発売！
どこか憎めない殺し屋達が次々と起きる状況変化をも利用し対決！格ゲー大ブームの中、僕が黙々と遊んでたら隣で見てた友達が「これ、めちゃくちゃ良いゲームなんじゃないか！？」と目を丸くして驚いてた姿を思い出します！未だ代替え品のない傑作！
どこか憎めない殺し屋達が次々と起きる状況変化をも利用し対決！格ゲー大ブームの中、僕が黙々と遊んでたら隣で見てた友達が「これ、めちゃくちゃ良いゲームなんじゃないか！？」と目を丸くして驚いてた姿を思い出します！未だ代替え品のない傑作！
December 17, 2025 at 10:47 PM
本日12月18日、アケアカ版アウトフォクシーズ発売！
どこか憎めない殺し屋達が次々と起きる状況変化をも利用し対決！格ゲー大ブームの中、僕が黙々と遊んでたら隣で見てた友達が「これ、めちゃくちゃ良いゲームなんじゃないか！？」と目を丸くして驚いてた姿を思い出します！未だ代替え品のない傑作！
どこか憎めない殺し屋達が次々と起きる状況変化をも利用し対決！格ゲー大ブームの中、僕が黙々と遊んでたら隣で見てた友達が「これ、めちゃくちゃ良いゲームなんじゃないか！？」と目を丸くして驚いてた姿を思い出します！未だ代替え品のない傑作！
Last night I had to call 911 for a fire 2 doors down. They pulled my neighbor out. Spent my morning trying to figure out if she lived but if you search "news Baltimore fire" all you get is a firefighter serial masturbator SO PROLIFIC they had to decontaminate multiple facilities (and ice machines??)
December 12, 2025 at 1:37 AM
Last night I had to call 911 for a fire 2 doors down. They pulled my neighbor out. Spent my morning trying to figure out if she lived but if you search "news Baltimore fire" all you get is a firefighter serial masturbator SO PROLIFIC they had to decontaminate multiple facilities (and ice machines??)
The winner of The Game Awards is...the girl reading this post...(and not watching The Game Awards)...
December 12, 2025 at 1:18 AM
The winner of The Game Awards is...the girl reading this post...(and not watching The Game Awards)...
We're experiencing weird deliverability issues with our marketing emails at work. We're A/B testing and we think the problem is either that an ancient ziggurat has been acting as a psychic magnet, attracting those electronic signals which bear its inscrutable sigils in its code, or a template issue.
December 10, 2025 at 10:47 PM
We're experiencing weird deliverability issues with our marketing emails at work. We're A/B testing and we think the problem is either that an ancient ziggurat has been acting as a psychic magnet, attracting those electronic signals which bear its inscrutable sigils in its code, or a template issue.
You've heard of Elf on a Shelf, now get ready to shut up. Fuck off. Go to Elf Hell and fucking die (but with tinsel).
December 5, 2025 at 1:20 AM
You've heard of Elf on a Shelf, now get ready to shut up. Fuck off. Go to Elf Hell and fucking die (but with tinsel).
Tipping $1.4 Billion to my bartender to match my Godzilla score.
November 28, 2025 at 2:39 AM
Tipping $1.4 Billion to my bartender to match my Godzilla score.
In the original Final Fantasy (Famicom '87, NES '90) a single door on the top floor of the Sunken Shrine is locked by the Mystic Key despite it being impossible to reach that location without the Key.
i was going through my X archives and found this by @superpodsaga.com, which I qrt'd at some point years ago
so, let me bring the question back: what is the most useless piece of video game knowledge you know?
so, let me bring the question back: what is the most useless piece of video game knowledge you know?
November 23, 2025 at 7:51 PM
In the original Final Fantasy (Famicom '87, NES '90) a single door on the top floor of the Sunken Shrine is locked by the Mystic Key despite it being impossible to reach that location without the Key.
I have absolutely no proof but I'm the source of the, "I thought Siglemic was an Asian girl" meme. Cuz I thought he was!
November 17, 2025 at 4:50 AM
I have absolutely no proof but I'm the source of the, "I thought Siglemic was an Asian girl" meme. Cuz I thought he was!
You ever be having a good day and then Darby Allin happens? #AEW #AEWDynamite #BloodAndGuts #WrestleSky
November 14, 2025 at 2:42 AM
You ever be having a good day and then Darby Allin happens? #AEW #AEWDynamite #BloodAndGuts #WrestleSky
My Google Homes/Nests got an update that made them run on Google's Gemini AI. The only difference I've noticed is that if you say, "remind me to..." it goes, "I can't set reminders" but if you say, "set a task to..." it goes, "alright, I'll remind you at..."
November 14, 2025 at 2:04 AM
My Google Homes/Nests got an update that made them run on Google's Gemini AI. The only difference I've noticed is that if you say, "remind me to..." it goes, "I can't set reminders" but if you say, "set a task to..." it goes, "alright, I'll remind you at..."
Instead of a franchise whose whole business model is being visible from highway exits (Carvana, Top Golf) I'm instead going to construct a single tower that can be seen from all over Earth so that consumers (4|\| |=1|\|4|_|_¥ lvl33+ 60|)!
November 3, 2025 at 12:25 PM
Instead of a franchise whose whole business model is being visible from highway exits (Carvana, Top Golf) I'm instead going to construct a single tower that can be seen from all over Earth so that consumers (4|\| |=1|\|4|_|_¥ lvl33+ 60|)!
Noir detective who is also the femme fatale and is also pregnant:
That's right, it's my turn to expand humanity via contractions. But it won't contract any of my contracts. At most I'll have to go from 4 inch heels to 3. At least my husband will feel less threatened!
That's right, it's my turn to expand humanity via contractions. But it won't contract any of my contracts. At most I'll have to go from 4 inch heels to 3. At least my husband will feel less threatened!
October 31, 2025 at 3:23 AM
Noir detective who is also the femme fatale and is also pregnant:
That's right, it's my turn to expand humanity via contractions. But it won't contract any of my contracts. At most I'll have to go from 4 inch heels to 3. At least my husband will feel less threatened!
That's right, it's my turn to expand humanity via contractions. But it won't contract any of my contracts. At most I'll have to go from 4 inch heels to 3. At least my husband will feel less threatened!
Reposted by Iamfivebears
October 21, 2025 at 3:08 PM