Author | Lightnews

James Schlarmann

@jamboschlarmbo.bsky.social

2.1K followers 360 following 1.4K posts

Dope Dad. Amateur Professional. https://linktr.ee/jamboschlarmbo

linktr.ee

Posts Media Videos Starter Packs

Pinned

James Schlarmann @jamboschlarmbo.bsky.social · May 3

I’m going to start a thread of my most viral jokes/memes from #Facebook in the hopes that it helps Bsky’s satirical content library and maybe helps people see where the memes come from so they don’t have to be fact-checked all the damn time.

4 7 34

James Schlarmann @jamboschlarmbo.bsky.social · 14h

Can someone smarter than me (not hard) explain how building a giant ballroom while the government is shutdown and people are about to starve fulfills even the preamble of the Constitution?

MAGA, you might need to read it first. Oh, shit, which means you might need to learn how to read first.

1 2

Reposted by James Schlarmann

Governor Gavin Newsom @governor.ca.gov · 1d

2,500 pantries supported across the state
$80M in state funds fast-tracked for distribution
390 @calvolunteers.bsky.social — with hundreds more waiting in the wings
And National Guard men and women deployed, proud to be the good guys

We will not just let Californians in need go hungry.

180 1.9K 7.2K

Reposted by James Schlarmann

Governor Tim Walz @governorwalz.mn.gov · 1d

Every $1 invested in SNAP generates $1.80 in economic activity.

It’s not about the money, Trump just wants Americans to go hungry.

87 630 2.4K

James Schlarmann @jamboschlarmbo.bsky.social · 1d

I’d ask how ICE agents sleep at night, but I’ve seen human centipede so I already know. #ATM

1 1

James Schlarmann @jamboschlarmbo.bsky.social · 1d

🫶

Reposted by James Schlarmann

Ebony Elizabeth Thomas @ebonyteach.blacksky.app · 2d

Honestly, I don't care what people seeking assistance at food banks do for a living, whether they work or not, what they drive, etc.

People are hungry. Give them food to eat. Plain and simple.

24 420 1.6K

James Schlarmann @jamboschlarmbo.bsky.social · 3d

But I was told food shortages and a devastatingly corrupt and incompetent government only happened under commie-nism?

James Schlarmann @jamboschlarmbo.bsky.social · 3d

Hahaha! True.

James Schlarmann @jamboschlarmbo.bsky.social · 3d

What if we start a rumor that every MAGA voter is in the Epstein Files and that’s why Donald won’t release them? That might get them to demand he release them, to clear their name.

1 1 2

James Schlarmann @jamboschlarmbo.bsky.social · 3d

Some shit I’ve done lately and I always forget to post it over here.

Reposted by James Schlarmann

The Tennessee Holler @thetnholler.bsky.social · 6d

Imagine if in another country the president’s masked army racially profiled in opposition areas as he enriches himself (even raiding the treasury), oligarchs renovated a massive ballroom for him, and his unofficial top advisor said he won’t leave.

Is this how democracies end?

310 1.4K 4.6K

James Schlarmann @jamboschlarmbo.bsky.social · 5d

I’m not sure who needs to hear this (yes I am), but firing pepper balls into the face of unarmed, peaceful protesters makes you the biggest bitch of all bitches to ever bitch.

1 4

Reposted by James Schlarmann

Humor For Resistance @funnysnarkyjoke.bsky.social · 5d

@jamboschlarmbo.bsky.social

United States Presidents

[pic of all the us presidents]

us presidents ranked from smart to donald trump

@jamboschlambo

5 13

James Schlarmann @jamboschlarmbo.bsky.social · 5d

Do we need think Lincoln’s haters in the Confederacy would cheer or be saddened by watching the White House be destroyed by the Party of Lincoln?

James Schlarmann @jamboschlarmbo.bsky.social · 5d

This man is my new hero for today.

Madison Swart @madisonswart.bsky.social · 6d

New York, USA — September 9, 2025. A man reacts following a confrontation with federal agents on the 12th floor of 26 Federal Plaza, outside immigration courtrooms.

1 4

James Schlarmann @jamboschlarmbo.bsky.social · 5d

You guys say “demolishing the White House and paying for the gaudy ballroom with bribes and grift” like it’s a bad thing.

James Schlarmann @jamboschlarmbo.bsky.social · 6d

Fucking please just fucking shut the fucking fuck up, you fucking syphilitic fucksnotted fucklip.

7 works for me, ya fuck.

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 6d

Trump: "They start using foul language, but they use too much of it. You know, you can't use the F word 7 times in one sentence. It doesn't work. It might work once every 7 news conferences."

James Schlarmann @jamboschlarmbo.bsky.social · 6d

Nero fiddled while Rome burned. Fuckface built a ballroom while Americans starved and dropped their health insurance.

2 3

James Schlarmann @jamboschlarmbo.bsky.social · 6d

“Dear leader looks better than every living or dead president. Especially the dead ones.”

Acyn @acyn.bsky.social · 6d

Leavitt: The president is in incredibly good shape and I think that's evidenced here every single day

James Schlarmann @jamboschlarmbo.bsky.social · 6d

Why’d he block me before I could be helpful? Sad!

James Schlarmann @jamboschlarmbo.bsky.social · 7d

Hey, this article is defamatory and you need to give me an email address I can get to your editorial staff about. I need corrections/retractions made about this section in particular.

I’m a comedian. My content is not made to intentionally mislead people into thinking it’s true.

James Schlarmann @jamboschlarmbo.bsky.social · 7d

ICE agents are definitely not gonna give you more than six weak pumps and a grunt. If their partner wants to get off, that sheep will have to figure out how to do it on their own.

James Schlarmann @jamboschlarmbo.bsky.social · 7d

Okay, so the Epstein Files are at least “we have to keep the government closed, not swear-in duly elected congresswomen, and let a diaper-wearing manbaby destroy an entire wing of the White House” bad, yeah?

Reposted by James Schlarmann

Kurlee @mrkurlee.bsky.social · 7d

Can we go together? I'll buy the beers.

1 1

Reposted by James Schlarmann

Nene Johnson @nenebayjohnson.bsky.social · 7d

🤷‍♀️

James Schlarmann @jamboschlarmbo.bsky.social · 7d

As long as we turn the ballroom into his crypt when The King’s Final Big Mac has been consumed, and that crypt is turned into a gender-neutral bathroom, I guess I’ll be okay.

1 1